poss. trigs

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2003
poss. trigs
4
Wed, 11-01-2006 - 6:47am

just to let you all know that I am still here and am still fighting the depression. I do have to defend my T tho she is a wonderful person and the reason she wanted me to call Marsha up was in hopes that I would say where I was at bc I wasnt telling her where I was at and she thought that maybe I would tell Marsha. I put a lot of ppl in a ackward position and I am so sorry, I wish I could turn back the clock

Marsha I am so sorry I hurt you I didnt mean to, and that goes for you also Lori, I was very angry towards everyone that I lashed out on the ppl who care about me and for that I regret it.
I am going to go and see a Pdoc as soon as I can find one and we are looking as we speak and my family doc is going to refer me to one if we cant find one that I like.
I always have thoughts of hurting myself I dont know why I am like this and I hate myself for hurting the ppl who I care about, but when I get in that state nothing matters and I will not put Marsha through that again, I love her more then I love my real sister she is my sister and I care for her so much SORRY SIS.
sorry if this post doesnt make sense cant really get my thoughts together all that well

Mary

Mary
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2005
In reply to: black_ice22
Wed, 11-01-2006 - 7:59am

Mary, I hope that you will be able to stay safe, you really did worry a lot of people around here. It's really great of you to apologize, but you really don't have to worry about doing so, we all know that you are hurting a lot. I think that people understand.

I really do hope that you are able to find a new pdoc SOON. Please take care of yourself.

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
In reply to: black_ice22
Wed, 11-01-2006 - 3:29pm

Mary,

No need to apologize, but I'm glad that you did...it means deep down within you that the REAL you is still there...not the Bipolar crazy depressed person that BP tries to make you into. You have to keep fighting! I'm very proud of you for looking for a pdoc. That will make a TON of difference.

I care about you, and I think of you all the time. I hope you know that.

I know exactly what you are going through and all I can do though is wish you didn't have to go through it...but I do promise you it won't be this way forever...so keep fighing!

Love and Hugs,

Keli

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-12-2004
In reply to: black_ice22
Thu, 11-02-2006 - 1:59pm

Hi Mary,


Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket 
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-02-2005
In reply to: black_ice22
Fri, 11-03-2006 - 2:42pm

I didn't read your post as I am coming out of a very rough time myself so I don't want to take the chance and be triggered but know my thoughts, prayers and love are with you.


Hugs.

Image hosted by Photobucket.com

Amanda