I'm back and I'm sorry
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| Wed, 11-01-2006 - 5:00pm |
I just got out of the hospital today. It was not very beneficial, and people expect to get better, isn't that that point of going in the hospital? My inpatient pdoc doesn't seem to think so. She sees "Borderline Personality" and nothing else matters, it's just a maladaptive coping mechanism and I've got to get out of therapy and start living. I have to find my "sense of self". Not very helpful. I should have just stuck with my outpatient pdoc's plan (they let me leave the hospital to see her) and maybe I wouldn't have just wasted a week of my life for nothing. She seems to think that the perphenazine is enough of a mood stabilizer without the lamictal that I was on or the lithium that my own pdoc suggested. She took me off of the amitriptyline which was my antidepressant and now I'm wondering if I just didn't give it a chance, that I jumped the gun when a trigger sent me on this downward spiral. My pdoc also was going to keep me on a low dose of that to help with my stage 4 sleep which is why I don't feel rested and my fibro is acting up. My impatient pdoc was a real piece of work! Why do we have people like this working the system? The nurses were much better. They talked and listed to me, supporting me in every way they can. They are the ones that see us all day every day so they get to know us a bit better, whereas the pdoc thought she knew me before she even met me. She had her mind made up and it didn't matter what I said.
co-cl of the Self-Injury board
co-cl of the Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings board
cl of the Borderline Personality Disorder board


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Thanks Gail,
Yes I am searching for my inner self. That is one thing that the pdoc in the hospital said that is true. But other than that the rest of my problems were nothing. I am working on meditation and yoga to work on those areas. I will look into the sites you suggested and will bring the topic up with my pdoc, although I have a list of things to go through with her at the moment. I have made a list of goals and am working through the Body Image Workbook and the BDD workbook. Next I think I might do the Anorexia workbook. That has been the focus of our therapy, although nothing more than me reporting in how I've done. Not very helpful, so something more has to be done. I like having tangible things to do so the workbooks help.
Thanks for your post,
Hugs.
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