Boredom

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-09-2005
Boredom
9
Sun, 11-19-2006 - 5:56pm

I've been having some bad days becuase I've been bored out of my mind. Maybe that doesn't sound so bad but it is when you feel that way for days on end.

Does anyone else feel that way, that no matter what you do, after a certain age life is boring? I just think life is too long. I think this chronic boredom started last year. I'm now 27. I feel like I've done everything so many times, it's not fun anymore.

Of course I still have dreams and goals that I haven't done but the reason I haven't done them is I don't know how. Or I've tried and failed to reach them.

And then I can think of things I'd like to do but I don't want to do them alone, and all of my friends and family are long distance. DH doesn't think anything I like to do is fun, he never wants to come with me. I've tried doing them alone- like hiking, for example- and it wasn't fun.

The days just seem so long and I'm so restless. Some of the fun ideas I think of- like a spa- are too expensive.

It helps that I'm working now, 25-28 hours a week, but the problem is my job is pretty boring too. I want to scream!

I live in a boring town. I never felt this bored in Washington DC. There was so much to do in DC, the Smithsonian, the Zoo, outlet stores, a Festival in the summer, art classes, yoga at the gym, ballroom dancing, etc. Now I think I live in the most boring place in America. I look for things to do and the most exciting thing this weekend was the craft fair at a local church, which I missed becuase I don't even like crafts and yes- I didn't want to go alone.

I probably sound like I'm whining but I honestly try to find things to do, and somehow no matter how hard I try- there are too many hours in the day!

For example- I've already done all my Christmas cards, and most of my Christmas shopping, and it's not even December yet. Why? Because I can't stand sitting and staring at the walls all day! I try so hard to keep busy...but I can't!




Edited 11/19/2006 6:01 pm ET by bluerains
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-09-2005
In reply to: bluerains
Tue, 11-21-2006 - 3:24pm

No answers? Come on guys, don't tell me I'm the only one who ever feels this way! I'm starting to feel self concious about posting this.

This is how I feel: my life is almost always either in some kind of crisis, or it's boring. Maybe I have one happy day a month. But mostly, it's either bad or boring. Does anyone else feel that way?

It's hard to admit this, most people want everyone to think that they have fascinating, interesting lives. Or they want everyone to think that if it weren't for (fill in the blank- with a big problem like a bad marraige, depression, alchoholism, eating disorder, etc., it could be any problem) they'd be happy.

I used to think that too. Then I suspected it didn't work that way, but I didn't want to admit it. But this board is all about honesty, so I'll be real. I think I can beat all my problems in time. But I'm still not happy! Even when I have no major problems, or crisis going on, or suicidal thoughts, I'm not happy. And that's a hard thing to admit.




Edited 11/21/2006 3:36 pm ET by bluerains
Avatar for alsmith32
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
In reply to: bluerains
Tue, 11-21-2006 - 11:17pm
I think that life is boring too sometimes. But I think also that that is the depression talking. It's all about attitude, although sometimes attitude is within our control and sometimes it's not. I find that humor is helpful in relieving boredom. Also creative activities, or learning things. Can you sign up for a class? Is there a community college?
My life is really busy, not that it's so exciting, but I never have a spare moment. I wish i had time to sit down sometimes. It's hard for me to even make time to visit the T. It takes a long time for me to get there and then get back.
When I look back at times when i felt bored and lonely and restless and like things were always the same, i think those were times when i was really feeling the depression. I think people that aren't depressed feel happy and they don't feel that way.
Not sure how to solve that problem though. I am beginning to feel better, it's been over 6 months of wellbutrin and although I don't feel happy consistently for a long period of time, I do feel more hopeful and I don't have those thoughts like, here I am on the elevator going to work AGAIN, for the 5, 5000th day in a row, etc. etc. I focus more on stuff I have to do or things I am looking forward to. I have also found that activities that I really enjoy are things that I try to do. Like I like horseback riding so I always try to do that as often as possible.
Wish I was more helpful ...
allie
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-15-2006
In reply to: bluerains
Tue, 11-21-2006 - 11:33pm

Have you thought about joining a gym? I was sitting home being bored all day and not even getting anything done because i was depressed because i was bored. I joined Baley's and I go everyday now and swim some laps or do a water arrobics class. I met a few people there and they are actually fun. get out and meet people. my dh isn't fun either and i wish i had someone to hang out with, go on a hike or to the movies or out to dinner with.

I know what you mean by feeling board i'm right along with you.

Libby

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-12-2004
In reply to: bluerains
Wed, 11-22-2006 - 11:05am

Hi Blue,


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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-21-2006
In reply to: bluerains
Wed, 11-22-2006 - 3:29pm

Boring? I'd say monotonous is a better term to use. It is usually traumatic though.

Is there a swimming pool near you? I used to find that swimming at a pool with exclusive membership was a recreation that helped lighten the mind.




Edited 11/22/2006 3:40 pm ET by michiganjfrog2006
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-19-2004
In reply to: bluerains
Wed, 11-22-2006 - 6:43pm

Hey Blue,

I know exactly how you feel about wanting to go do fun things and dh just doesnt want too. My dh is the same way, it drives me nuts sometimes. But then he gets mad if i dont want to go do things with his friends with him all the time. I'll workup a really fun weekend and he will give me a "blah" reaction, which just ruins it for me. Sigh. Well sorry i couldnt offer any advice, but i hope you have a wonderful Thanksgiving, you deserve it!

Marsha 

mommy to Rylee Elizabeth 4/12/2005 

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-15-2006
In reply to: bluerains
Thu, 11-23-2006 - 8:53pm

when i go to the gym right now i look at this person and that person and i think could i be friends with that person. could we do things together. my best friend works a lot and her usband works a lot and when they aren't working they are together. they don't get along with my husband because they don't like the way he treats me so we don't do anything as couples. My other friend is much younger then me and we don't get to do thing together unless its' with the kids. my friend form highschool lives about an hour away and we just drifted apart. I though my dh would be my best friend but he isn't. when we go to the movies it is what movie he wants to see when we got out for dinner it is where he wants to go. I would love to just go for walk with him or sit at a park and just talk and just be togehter he doesn't even want to do that. he says any affection he shows me is faked right now and that is killing me.

I need a friend that i can get together with in my town and just have something to do with. but ofcourse there is no one. I'd like to talk to someone but then again you have to be afraid of the internet dangers.

several years ago i met a women who i met online in a chat room. we met and hit it off right away. it took me 2 hours to drive to her house and how i did that was kind of funny. we were joking about me having heart burn and in one of my posts i was complaining about the bologna i found under my couch and she told me that if i didn't eat the week old bologna i wouldn't have heart burn. i told her to be careful because one day she'd wake up to find that bologna in her mail box. well everyone in the chat room dared me to do it and one of her friends who was also in the chat room and lived near by we talked on the phone and she dared me to do it. so at 11'o'clock at night i drove over 2 hours put a package of fresh bologna on her door step with a note that said lunch was on me rang the doorbell and ran. and drove the 2 hours home hehe. then when it was her birthday a few months later her friend threw her a surprise birthday party and i was the surprise guest she had. she hugged me with tears in her eyes. it was like i was coming home to friends i had known all my life. we talked and met some more after that but with everyone moving and changing of phone numbers and emaiil addresses and stuff the 3 of us lost contact with each other. I tell ou that was the best to have someone to get to know and then to actually meet them in person well it was wonderful and it wasn't awkward because they knew my deepest darkest fears and secrets. it was like we knew each others souls and now thats gone. i wish i could get that back again.

Libby

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-12-2004
In reply to: bluerains
Sat, 11-25-2006 - 3:22pm

Hey Libby,


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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-09-2005
In reply to: bluerains
Mon, 11-27-2006 - 7:27pm

To: All

Well, this weekend the pendulum swung back to anxiety and I now wish I was still bored! This whole weekend I've had obsessive thougths and anxiety in my mind like a broken record- I feel more crazy than I've ever felt before. This has never happened for so long- the same thoughts nonstop, for days.

Allie,
I'm sure it's part of depression to feel this way. Things I used to love don't make me as happy anymore.

Libby,
That is a good idea to join a gym. I am pretty lazy as far as working out goes- but I'd like to get in shape. I once joined a gym and never went. Terrible, isn't it? DH and I both joined and paid the gym for nothing becuase he didn't go either. But you're right Libby, that's a good idea.

Lori,
Thank you for the good ideas too. That's a creative and brave idea.

Michiganjfrog2006,
Monotonous is a great word to describe it. As if I've done this over and over again. Not this again, do I really have to get up again and do it one more time? Yes, I do.

Marsha,
I'm sorry your Dh doesn't want to have fun either. Hmmm, I guess you, me and Libby have that in common with our husbands. In fact DH was just telling me he might take Friday off. I said, "Great! I hope it's good weather so we can go out somewhere", and he told me he wants to rest becasue he's still tired from Thanksgiving! Aaaaaaaaaaa, that means he'll want to stay home all day long and talk on the phone with his friends or get on the computer all day.

I realized a lot of this bored feeling is because I feel so isolated. When I went to visit my family this weekend I felt a lot better. I stayed with my parents for 2 days, then stayed with my grandma for one night. I wasn't bored at all. I also got to see my best friend for only the second time in years. (We live far apart now). It was great. I didn't want to go home. Now I'm back and alone again.

It's like another world. I'm in one world and everyone I love except DH is in another one. Thank god for DH with all his faults becuase I'd be totally isolated without him.

I do have one friend here but she has 2 kids and 3 part time jobs and also goes to school. I don't want to bother her because she's so busy, I don't think she really has time to just hang out and talk.

Time goes by so slowly...the days, the minutes, the hours.




Edited 11/27/2006 7:30 pm ET by bluerains