Holidays :(

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-15-2006
Holidays :(
3
Thu, 11-23-2006 - 2:46pm

I used to love the holidays. even when i was a kid it seemed that during the holidays everyone got along and they were great. My mother used to try and out do her neighbors and family ( i didn't know what then but i do know) so we had wonderful christmases she was always happy (or so we thought)

But now I'm so sad on holidays and i want to say that I hate holidays but is that a sane thing to say. It just seems like there is so much stress argueing and nastyness on holidays. my husband always has to ruin them for my by picking some kind of arguement wether it is small or big. So today is just no big day for me. his mother is here his sister and my nephew and i'm hiding in the computer room trying to hide how upset I am. The turkey isn't done yet and my girls are helping my MIL do the cooking. my MIL loves to have that responsibility on the holidays so i guess i should be greatful for that when in fact I just want to take an ambien and go to sleep for the day and just forget what is going on around me. How can i be happy when the little bickering and argueing is going on all day long!

Libby

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-12-2004
In reply to: libbysadeyes
Thu, 11-23-2006 - 7:09pm

Hi Libby,


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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-15-2006
In reply to: libbysadeyes
Thu, 11-23-2006 - 8:40pm

I have crohns diease and the stress and things have really gotten to me. the pain has been unbearable today. i ended up laying down for a while and my little girl who is 9 laid down with me. she puts her back to my back and the presser helps the pain. when she got tired of laying with me my almost 13 year old came and laid with me. so after awhile i got up and helped with the cooking. I'm still in a lot of pain and if it wasn't for it being a holiday i would go to the emergency room. I know from past experiences they would keep me and put me on an iv antibiotic and iv pain meds. i'm just trying to make it through the night. we were all sitting in the livingroom and the diningroom (which connects) and playing 20 questions while eating desert. my son who will be 11 soon and has some problems of his own started yelling out questions and answers and i told my husband who was sitting next to me to get him to stop. 3 times i asked him to get him to stop and act right. well instead my husband started yelling at me and told me to get out infront of all of our kids and his family. I was completly humiliated!!! I left the room and looked at the shocked faces as i walked out trying to hold back my tears. I went and took a shower a xanax and a ambien. i'm drinking a glass of wine and on the computer and waiting for everyone to leave and then I will be sleeping in the basement family room on the couch.

I'm so humiliated hurt and really depressed that he treated me like that infront of everyone. He also told me in therapy last week that when he shows any emotion (hugs or a kiss) that he is faking it! so at this point i don't know what to think. i feel myself slipping back into that black fog i was a few weeks ago and it scares the hell out of me. I know that I can come here and talk to you all and i know that i'll get through this but it is going to be hard. I can't talk to him because all he does is threaten to call an ambulence if he sees me cry or get upset!

Libby

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-09-2005
In reply to: libbysadeyes
Mon, 11-27-2006 - 7:48pm

Libby,

It's sad remembering happy holidays from childhood becuase they are gone and over. I told DH that and he said he did not feel that way. He is happy he had the memories. But I feel both happy and sad, it's bittersweet becasue I miss the past and can't touch it.

You don't deserve to be treated badly and yelled at like your husband did. I hope his family told him that, since they witnessed it! I hope they give you some support even though they are inlaws and more likely to be on their son's side. Still, you didn't deserve that.

I still love holidays but there is definately a sadness to them also.