I don't know if I can do this again...

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
I don't know if I can do this again...
2
Fri, 12-01-2006 - 11:17am

As you all know, I have BP. Stupid freaking BP.

I am cycling, as I always do...

I am in the middle of a very fast, downward spiral and I don't know if I can do it this time. I want to take a bunch of pills and take myself out for the weekend. I have no energy, and I can't work, and I'm stuck here.

I am feeling very hopeless, dark, and scared.

Its just too much.

I haven't had this bad of a depression in a long time...and its hit me within the last 2 hours.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-09-2005
Fri, 12-01-2006 - 5:24pm

Hey Keli,

That's the fun thing about depression, BP, etc. It never really goes away. It's just something we have to learn to live with. Lucky us!

I've been thinking lately that it seems artistic, creative people are more likely to be very sensitive and have mood disorders. A lot of famous writers and artists have had depression, BP, etc. So there is a silver lining....

You will get through this. The tide comes in and the tide goes out again. Waves of depression are crashing over you now but just wait and the tide will go out, and you'll be able to see the sun again and take a walk on the beach.

Winter is also a reallly hard season for depression. Can you write out some Christmas cards, build a ginger bread house, bake holiday cookies, or try to do something festive?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-12-2004
Fri, 12-01-2006 - 9:06pm

Heyyy Keli,


Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket