Bad weekend
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| Mon, 12-04-2006 - 3:58pm |
This weekend was bad. I was like a zombie the whole time.
Sat. morning was OK. I invited my friend over becuase I got her an advent calendar and I wanted to give it to her. So I cleaned the house for an hour before she got there. She brought her 2 kids over and they stayed for 45 minutes. I wanted her to stay longer but she has a really busy life. It was the first time she ever came over and I'm the one who invited her so that was a big deal for me since I'm a hermit, and I felt good about that.
But pretty much after she left I could not get out of bed all weekend. DH was working, doing his army reserves drill, and I just felt like everything I could do was so pointless. I'm ashamed that all I did was overeat and read all weekend.
I was glad to go back to work today becuase it forced me to get up. That is so pathetic! And my job may be over by January, it's a temp job. And then what would I do?
Edited 12/4/2006 4:04 pm ET by bluerains

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You'll look for anothe job, come on the board and tell us all how you are feeling. If i'm getting through these horrible days so can you ;)
Libby
Hi Blue,
Hi Libby,
Right now i'm doing ok. my dh was off today and we were supposed to have an appt. with the therapist but i cought some bug over the weekend and spent all day sunday throwing up and laying on the couch. my dh kinda left me alone that day. today i got up got the kids off to school He was off so he stayed in bed. i asked him if he would get up and help but he isn't a morning person and just got nasty with me. so i got up and got them off to school. I laid down on the couch to wait for the little one that I watch but because she knew i was sick and her dh was laid off she left her with him. I ended up sleeping till 1pm and then tried to do a little in the house. the diareah hit and it hit with a vengence (I have crohn's disease and stress is a major triggor) while i was trying to do something around the house i just kinda did some laundry and followed my dh around he was actually cleaning his "office" part of the laundry room and he ended up really cleaning the family room (maybe this him being home the next few mondays might not be so bad lol) When my two girls got home (the two that i'm having the most problems with i seemed to really get stressed out. just hatred looks and the obvious ignoring me. i went and took a xanax and that helped a little. my dh called all the kids (except the oldest one she was at work) and showed them the family room and read them the riot act and told them he'd better not find any dirty dishes or trash shoved under the couch. it was kinda nice to watch him clean it and then get mad as he saw all the stuff laying around. I told him see this is what i go through regularly. my 16 year old just kept shooting me nasty looks I wanted her to know that a decision was made (she was out with my sil's friend doing some work for her) she was supposed to be home the night before and I was the one who told dh to let her stay ( I was sick and puking at the time) and then i let her run some errands with her all day sunday ) i just wanted her to know that her dad and I had made the decision to let her have some of her freedom this weekend. She turned around and said to me infront of her dad that she didnt' care what I said and never would! I saw my dh's face turn 3 shades of read and he said something to her that was innaprropriate and she told him she would see him in court! well that just ticked him off even more I grabbed him by the arm and calmed him down. we haven't seen her the rest of the night. I know it's going to take a long time for the peace to come back into our family and it's going to take a loooong time for the kids to realise we aren't playing games anymore that if they didn't like it they could move out the day they turned 18. my oldest owed me money and she walked in last night after being gone (staying with a friend and her aunt) and handed me a check to cover most of what she owed. I was shocked! I didn't expect it. i'll take the money and buy her a christmas present with it.
I know that christmas in our house is going to be very very limited because of finance and behavior. my 9 year old doesn't believe in santa anymore i really wish she did so it will be eaier to have a light christmas. we are talking about buying them maybe 3 gifts a piece small ones and taking them to church christmas eve. i thik we all need to start going back to church. I want them to remember that christmas isn't about what you are getting or what you are giving someone but it's about LIFE and forgiveness. I'm just not sure how to bring this about so i'm still thinking about it. but atleast dh and I are on the same page as this one. he has never been one to go out and spend money on christmas presents, we always do our shopping on christmas eve, so this year should be pretty easy. i'm sure we'll have a lot of hurt feelsings and no understanding but i think they will look back on it and remember it as our hardest christmas. not our worst but the one that the family struggled through. I hope i'm not being realistic in my thoughts but just maybe.
wow i can't believe how late it is. i'm going to get the load of laundry out of the wash and then head to bed.
Thanks again Lori for thinking of me.
Libby
Edited 9/12/2009 1:38 pm ET by alsmith32
Hey Libby,
Thank you Libby, Lori, and Allie for your support.
I feel a little better now becuause I have work to go to. My job really keeps me going. I feel like I have a reason to get up and leave the house. I have 3 projects due Thursday so the next few days I'll be busy.
My mother in law buys them each a gift and my one sil buys them each a gift. my dad lives far away and we have never exchanged gifts with them. my mil used to buy them a tun of stuff but she just hasn't had the money the last few years either. i think we are all in the same boat. I'm taking the little ones to the craft store this weekend for $4.00 each they get to make 5 orniments and they can give those out as gifts. we just don't have the money to give them to buy their aunts and uncles gifts this year. I can't even get to my christmas decorations they are in my garage and when my sil moved out she left a tun of stuff in there, i've been asking her to get it out and when the kids keep asking me why can't we put up our tree or why can't we decorate the outside i just tell them i can't get to the stuff because aunt X's stuff is in the way. i'm hoping they will say something to her and she will finally come and get it if not dh says he will just start putting the bags and boxes for the trash man to take. they've been there for a month and if she would just put a few bags or boxes in her car everytime she is out this way (which is maybe a 20 minute drive) then she would have her stuff out but she won't make the effort at all!
Libby
Blue,
Sorry to hear that some of your weekend was bad. Don't write it all off because of the bad times. You still had a good time with your friend.
It's okay to stay in bed and eat and read once in awhile. Don't beat yourself up about it. Give yourself permission to let go and unwind.
Be proud that you can get up and go to work and I'm sure you do a good job at whatever you do. Don't worry that it might be a temp position at the moment. Worry about now. Do a good job and who knows you may find a permanent position opens up.
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