Personal crisis

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-02-2005
Personal crisis
8
Sat, 12-30-2006 - 11:11pm
I won't go into details, since it is my place to he here for you, but I had a severe crisis yesterday/today, so I will not be answering posts today, but know that I am sending my love and will be back tomorrow.

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co-cl of the Self-Injury board


co-cl of the Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings board


cl of the Borderline Personality Disorder board

Amanda

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-09-2005
In reply to: cl_schitz
Sun, 12-31-2006 - 5:46pm

Amanda,

Why do these things have the worst timing? It never seems to fail, for me at least, that something will go wrong and wreck a holiday or vacation, etc. I hope you're OK and can still have a decent New Year! I hope you're not sick! See, my imagination is running away with me. Feel better!

Have you ever tried broccoli cheddar soup? It's a real comfort food for me. It's very soothing. I wish I could bring you a bowl but since you're in Canada, it will have to be an e-soup. It usually helps me feel better.




Edited 12/31/2006 5:49 pm ET by bluerains
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-02-2005
In reply to: cl_schitz
Sun, 12-31-2006 - 6:35pm

Thanks blue for the esoup ;)


I'm still here so I guess that's something. I was really close to coming to the end and my eating disorder is in high gear. Plus I have realised that "stable" for me is dysthymia and that I'll never be truly stable, just manic, depressed or dysthymic. Sigh.

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Amanda

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-09-2005
In reply to: cl_schitz
Sun, 12-31-2006 - 6:52pm

"I have realised that "stable" for me is dysthymia and that I'll never be truly stable, just manic, depressed or dysthymic."

I've realized that as long as I have to function in the world, the same is true for me. If I had someone to take care of me and handle all the stressful details, drive me everywhere, etc. I'd probably be pretty stable. But as long as I have to function and attempt to be independent, I'll always have some level of stress or sadness.

I have heard that the twenties are a very hard time in someone's life and once you get older it gets easier. Oprah said it recently that once she hit age 40 she felt a lot more secure about herself. So maybe it will get easier...

I sent you an email whenver you get a chance to read it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-15-2006
In reply to: cl_schitz
Sun, 12-31-2006 - 8:21pm

Amanda, I haven't been online much this week. but know that i'm thinking of you and i'm praying for you. It is a tough road ahead and just knowing that someone out there cares about me and thinks about me has brought me a long way.

Just know that tonight and always i'm thinking of you i'm praying for you and I do CARE about YOU.

Robin/Libby

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-02-2005
In reply to: cl_schitz
Sun, 12-31-2006 - 8:28pm

Thanks Libby.


You're definately right that this is hard road.

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Amanda

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-02-2005
In reply to: cl_schitz
Sun, 12-31-2006 - 8:31pm

Unhappy new year.


I had a date with Ed tonight (that is my eating disorder). I bought an entire pizza and ate it and tried to purge in the garbage in the park but was unsuccessful. That made me even more depressed and when I crossed the road and the car stopped I thought "darn". How sad. Why can't I just want to get better. I've given up hope in anything more than mediocrity and even that feels a far stretch right now.

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Amanda

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-09-2005
In reply to: cl_schitz
Wed, 01-03-2007 - 3:51pm

Ed sounds like a lousy date! It must have been really cold in the park. I can imagine it was a terrible night.

No matter what, you have got through one more year! 2006 is over and you never have to go through that again. That is a huge milestone and a big deal I think.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-02-2005
In reply to: cl_schitz
Fri, 01-05-2007 - 2:11pm

Thank you Blue.


Yup ED is like an abusive bf. I can understand how people can get stuck in such relationships. Mine just isn't with a real person lol.


My tarot and oracle cards are still predicting a productive and creative time for me, so I have to hold on to that.

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Amanda