upset with myself!
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| Wed, 01-03-2007 - 6:50pm |
I went to see my primary dr. today for a follow up from my hospital visit. He said the only thing he can offer me is pain meds for the pain. I don't want any pain meds i'm scared to death to take them! I just want the pain to go away. he told me that on the scans he can see damage to my kidney and my liver (bruising) and that i have bruising and nerve damage inbetween two of my ribs it hurts so bad sometimes to just breath!
i've done too much today and now i'm really feeling the pain. i just want to go and lay down and go to sleep so i don't feel it but i can't. my dh isn't home and of course all the kids have to pick now to act up. my son is cycling big time and he doesn't go to see his phyciatrist till tomorow afternoon. Luckily we see the same one so i can talk to him tomorow to. now to just hang on till tomorrow!!!!
Robin

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Hey Robin,
Well after I posted this things improved dramaticly. i went up stairs to see my 19 year old finishing the tree and my 15 year old did the dishes! wow i was shocked. both of them appologised (in their own way) finished doing what ever i asked them to do. I ended up letting both of them go for the night and when they got to their aunts house they both called me and thanked me for letting them go. I know that was their aunts prompting but it was still a shocked to have to appologise and to call and thank me. the additude of my 17 year old changed dramaticly after the other two left.
Today I was in a good mood and started acting goofy. my 17 year old was in the bathroom cleaning it (with only a little bit of prompting) and i walked in and gave her a goofy looked and she kinda tried to hide her joking back so that i would think she was mad at me. i hugged her told her I loved her and that i really was sorry for acting the way i did last night. I didn't say anything to her about her behavior because i didn't want her to think i was appologising because i thought she owed one. I want to show her that I can be a good mom and an adult and sometimes overlook the dumb things they do.
I think i'm a very emotional person because i wasn't alloud to be while i was growing up and i've passed that on to my kids. so it's going to be hard for me to let them get their anger out and let them make their mean faces and nasty remarks and leaarn to pick my battles. it's going to be a long haul but i think i'm prepared for it.
My sister called me last night and we talked on the phone for 1 1/2 hours and it was nice. we don't get to do that often. and i miss her
Robin
Hey Robin,
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