Behavioral Hospital and Memories

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-03-2007
Behavioral Hospital and Memories
5
Tue, 01-09-2007 - 2:48pm

Unfortunately there are many things in my life that I fail to remember. In memory most of my past is nothing but a large blur. Sadly two of my most vivid memories are being forcibly committed to a behavioral hospital. It happened once at age 16 and a second time at age 27. Both are horrific experiences over which all control was taken away from me.

I have read on here that others share my experience of being un-expectantly committed against their will. My questions are... do you think that you will ever forget the experience? Do you want to forget? If you have already forgotten then how did you accomplish it?

Personally I have not forgotten and I doubt that I ever will. I want to forget, but it has been impossible. My most horrific memory of my most recent commitment is my psychiatrist's twisting of words or emotions. He asked me what led me to this point. I mentioned my miscarriage and broke down crying. He said I had an abnormal reaction. We had been trying to have a baby for seven years now. It was my first time being pregnant. I was so excited and then that was ripped away from me. I still tear up and now I am medicated. I don't think it is an abnormal reaction.

Lin

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-12-2004
Tue, 01-09-2007 - 4:58pm

Hey Lin,


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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-03-2007
Tue, 01-09-2007 - 5:13pm

>>> How long have you worked with this doctor? <<<

I worked about six days with that doctor. I sought him out because I heard he was reputable. I could no longer trust him after being locked away against my will. Upon my release I quickly and luckily found a good one who seems to actually care. He doesn't twist my words or tell me my emotions are wrong and out of the ordinary.

>>> Do you generally feel he is trustworthy and "on target" in his assessments? <<<

Some of his statements were on target and many were not. He diagnosed me as borderline personality disorder and told me that I would likely take years of therapy. My new psychiatrist says that was a false diagnosis and I do not come close to meeting the criteria for that.

>>> I'd first ask him WHY he says such things and tell him how it makes you feel and if that didn't improve things I'd start shopping for a new psych! <<<

I did ask him multiple times why he would say these things about me. He would get very angry with me. He would stop me mid sentence and wouldn't let me get words in.

I left that place very upset. I would love to forget. The situation is a stain in my life.

They sent me a $10,000 bill for the pleasure of being imprisoned against my will. My insurance paid $7,000. They aren't seeing a dime of the $3,000. I'm declaring bankruptcy.

Lin

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-15-2006
Tue, 01-09-2007 - 10:22pm

I don't think you are having an abnormal reaction. I lost a baby on two seperat occasions and i am still torn up about it.

i was in a hospital against my will i hated it and i have bad memories from it. i hope oneday i can forget them but i don't think i ever will.

Robin'

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-09-2005
Wed, 01-10-2007 - 3:28pm

I've never been in the hospital and now from reading this thread I'll try to avoid it at all costs. It seems like it would drive anyone crazy to be treated like that and then be billed thousands of dollars!

"I mentioned my miscarriage and broke down crying. He said I had an abnormal reaction."

Your reaction was normal. He is the abnormal one! I'm so sorry you lost your baby Lin. That's devestating.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-02-2005
Thu, 01-11-2007 - 9:59am

Lin,


I will never forget my hospital stays or even the times in the ER and EPT/EPAU that I didn't get committed. I don't think it was the fact that I had to go into the hospital against my will that upset me but the treatment that I got in there. I had a lot of great nurses, but the pdoc just didn't get it and said I need to "get out of therapy and get on with your life".


The only thing that has helped me, knowing that I need to come off all my meds and start fresh and that will take a hospital stay, is that I have hope of having a different psychiatrist. And I will be going in under the referral of my pdoc and not forcibly detained. I need to have the freedom of offward privledges, which I wouldn't if I was formed in the ER/EPT/EPAU.


ps. EPT is emergency psychiatric treatment and EPAU is emergenct psychiatric assement unit.



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Amanda