Eleven days alone

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-09-2005
Eleven days alone
12
Tue, 01-16-2007 - 4:25pm

DH left at 4 am this morning for his annual training for the army reserves. In another state.

My heart aches, I actually feel a physical pain in my chest. We can't even talk on the phone becuase we'll be working opposite shifts and there's a time difference. So when I come home from work, he'll be just going to work. When he comes home from work, it will be the middle of the night for me. He is working 12 hour shifts every day, he's going to be so tired!

It would not be so bad if I had family or friends here. But I don't. I'm trying to make plans to see my parents this Saturday.

I'm trying to get up the courage to invite an ex-coworker over for dinner. The stressful thing about that is she has a family- 2 kids and a DH that I've never met. I'm not good at cooking for large groups and that will be 5 people. And I'm also really nervous about being in groups and I'm stressed about about being a hostess for 4 people by myself. I'm quiet around strangers. What if her DH doesn't like me? What if the kids are bored? I wish I could just invite my friend over but I know that would be really rude.

I also made a spa apointment for next week, for a facial and massage. But other than that, I'm going to have way too much time and be alone for way too long. I only work 25 hours a week. Right now I wish I worked more hours!

That's another thing, I'm worried about being layed off at work becuase we've been having a really slow period for a month and they're concerned. I'd be the first one laid off becuase I'm the least important one there. (That's not low self esteem, it's reality).

I'm hungry but forcing myself to wait until 5:30 to eat dinner becuase that's my big event of the night and I don't want to do it too soon.

Last night I made pizza for my husband's last dinner home. I make the dough and everything from scratch and it tastes really good. I was so happy to make it for him, and happy becusae he ate 5 pieces which is a lot for him. But it's so depressing to cook for one! I'm just making a frozen dinner becuase I don't like leftovers.

I tried to look for a local gym or better yet, yoga or dance class I could join but I can't find any good ones close by! It's hard for me becuase I hate driving so I want to find close places.

I can think of lots of things I'd like to do- but they are all either expensive, far away, or both. I'm doing the spa anyway but I can't go crazy spending money becuase we're not rich.




Edited 1/16/2007 5:09 pm ET by bluerains

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-12-2004
Wed, 01-17-2007 - 10:56am

Hi Blue,


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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-02-2005
Wed, 01-17-2007 - 2:01pm

Blue it sounds like you have a lot of good ideas. Stick with them. Invite your ex-coworker for dinner. We can plan it out together. Keep looking into yoga and the other things you can use your energy for.


You can do it.

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Amanda

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-09-2005
Wed, 01-17-2007 - 9:19pm

Thank you Lori and Amanda.

I called my friend and suggested getting together next week and she's going to call me back tomarrow with an answer. Now that I've done it I have a lot of anxiety over it. I also called my parents and invited them over for this weekend. I'm also worried about that because I'm worried about them driving so far and I'm feeling guilty- that I should drive to their house instead becuase I'm younger and don't work as much as they do. But I'm really terrified of driving.

I went to a crafts store today and got some materials to make a Valentine's Day card for DH. I've never done that before but I hoped he might like a homeade card because I'll be putting a lot of thought into it and I hope that will show him that he's special. I bet he will also be surprised because I've always bought him cards before.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-31-2006
Wed, 01-17-2007 - 9:59pm

Blue

Making a card for your DH could be the start of a new hobby for you. I went to a Stampin Up rubber stamp party with my sister not too long ago and now I am hooked. Why stop at making one card for DH - make several.

As far as dinner you can do it. Just think this gives you something to do and keeps your mind off of being lonely. Like Lori said make something simple. When my dad, his wife, & the in laws came for dinner I had rigatoni, salad, garlic bread, and a dessert. It was so easy and we had a good time.

As far as the kids being bored, find out from their mom if there is a movie you can rent that would keep the kids entertained. Hey maybe the dad would being interested in the movie too and that would leave you and the co worker to enjoy each others company.

What else can you do... Well you can try making a new recipe. This would give you a chance to work on your cooking skills so start out simple. I know you said you don't like leftovers so take the leftovers to work & share it with your coworkers.

What about going to a bookstore or the library to find a good book to keep you busy?
The days will fly by.
You always have all of us to talk too. :)


iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2003
Thu, 01-18-2007 - 9:17am
Blue
Thanks for the great idea to make a Valentines Day card. I love that and I am going to do it too. I am glad that you have things planned. I know that your anxiety is not pleasant so dump it on us. We can help you get through these days alone. Take care.
Jessica
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-09-2005
Thu, 01-18-2007 - 7:27pm

Sfarlow,

It's funny you mentioned stamps becuase I actually got a chick rubber stamp and a yellow inkpad for Christmas. I used it all over my thank you cards. It is fun. Thank you for the other good ideas too.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-09-2005
Thu, 01-18-2007 - 7:32pm

Jessica,

I'm glad you think it's a good idea, I was getting kind of worried about whether he'd like it or not. I got 3 different kinds of fancy paper, and stickers. Thank you for the support.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2003
Fri, 01-19-2007 - 10:03am
I liked your idea so much that I told my sister and she is going to do it too : ) LOL
Keep up the good work.
Jessica
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-15-2006
Fri, 01-19-2007 - 11:32am

Hey i'm just checking in today to see how your day is and for you to know that i've been thinking about you and sending you cyber hugs. i hope you can feel them. just remember your not alone we are all thinking of you and counting down the days until you hubby is back.

Robin

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-15-2006
Fri, 01-19-2007 - 11:33am

I need some alone time from dh and the kids. too bad we don't live close by i'd come and get you and take you to dinner and a movie. just a girls night lol.

robin

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