Oh my I need lots of support
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| Wed, 01-17-2007 - 5:45pm |
Well todays appt with the Pdoc did not go well.
First off let me tell you a little about him.. He always wants me to decide what meds I should be taking by saying, "what meds do you want to try"? He also sits behind his desk staring at his computer screen and clicking his mouse. What he is doing I have no idea for all I know he is playing solitaire on the computer. If I feel suicidal he does nothing.
I am always intimidated by him and fear him. Last week I had a panic attack in his office during my visit. So today I ask DH to go with me.
DH did not like the fact that the PDoc ask me what meds I should be taking. I also said to the PDoc that I wanted to switch to the other Pdoc that is in his office. I told him he intimidates me and I would rather see the other - who by the way I have seen before during the last 12 weeks of my treatment when I was in intensive outpatient therapy- and I like him. He said no I could not switch and he will not keep me as a doctor either since I said the magic words - which I guess is that I want to switch doctors.
So I am stuck with no Pdoc right now.

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Hi there,
You are right Lori - he must think he is a server at the drug buffet. Not only that he also ask me when would you like to see me again? Shouldn't that be his call he is the doctor!
He also telling his staff to tell patients that they can not schedule appointments to see a Pdoc and a therapist on the same day and they tell the patients the insurance won't pay for it. Well I checked with my insurance and they said yes they would pay for it. But the hitch is that if he makes you see a therapist one day and the therapist another he can bill for two office calls. Where as if you see both on one day he only gets paid for one visit. I am a smart cookie and can read an EOB and I asked the insurance company so something is not right there. Plus the Pdoc is in the middle of remodeling the office and took over another suite next to his so this must be his pay of paying for the remodel.
I am a wreck because my FLMA ends on Feb 1 and I need a doctor to complete my paperwork so I can return to work!!!!
Jessica
I am feeling really bad about myself. I am fighting the bad thoughts it is hard.
Jessica
I just need lots of prayers, and just knowing others are out there thinking about me helps. I at least then don't feel like I am a loser or that I am alone in this mess.
I am very hurt by what happened and hope that the worst does not happen to me. I have to think positive and keep my chin up and decide what will be my next step. Right now I am fighting off a head but still pushed myself to put a load of laundry in the washer. That way at least I know my day was not a waste if I do a few small chores.
How are you feeling? Where do you live? I am outside of Cleveland Ohio and it is cold and the snow is melting right now but we are suppose to get some more snow tomorrow but only an 1".
I live in Virginia Beach. It is rainy and gloomy today, wish I could see snow but it rarely ever snows here. I havent done anything all day except feed my baby. I know what you mean about wasting a day. It seems like I have not been able to do much of anything all week and I feel like dh looks at me and thinks what is wrong with her? I cant even get out of sweats, fix my hair or put on makeup. Do your bad feelings stay with you all day long as a constant or do they come and go throughout the day. Some days for me are worse than others.
Take care.
Jessica
My bad feeling come and go. Yesterday I just wanted to end it all. But I did not because the weekend is coming and DH will be home with me and I will feel safe.
Sometimes you have to let yourself have a day where you do nothing. It is a part of the healing process. And if it makes you feel better do a little chore like clean the kitchen ie: wash the dishes and sweep the floor. I don't mean to reorganize the cabinets just little chores are progress for you not matter how small it is. My chore was to wash / dry and fold one load of clothes.
I too have not gotten a shower today. But I plan to when DH comes home because I don't want to miss a phone call. I called a couple Pdocs to see if they would take me on as a new patient and I am waiting to hear back from them.
But what you should try and do is one small chore a day. At least it will motivate you, make you feel good that you accomplished one thing and your DH will notice that at least you are trying to maintain the house.
How old is your little one?
Jessica
Hey Shelly,
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