I feel like ending it all is the best
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I feel like ending it all is the best
| Mon, 01-22-2007 - 12:47pm |
thing for me. I am so sick of having these thoughts and feelings, sick of being mentally ill, sick of therapy, I am just plain sick of everything. But, I know if I tell anyone I will end up back in the hospital. I am so sick of medications, that I stopped taking them. I know that was wrong, but I am just sick of them. They are not working anyways. I personally think it would be best for my sister and the two other people that I have to end it all. I would no longer be a burden to them and I would be out of this pain that I am in. I have nothing on me currently that I can self-injure with (I'm at school )...that would make me feel better at least for right now. No one understands and I have NO friends, except for one (she is actually my teacher)and she is on leave for a couple more weeks, but she would put me in the hospital herself...(if she knew how I was feeling)she did it before....twice. She is the one who made me start counseling and DBT. I feel like suicide is my only choice. Deep down, I know I don't want to die, but I feel I have no option. I don't want to go to the hospital. Is there any websites that I could talk with someone (not in person because I know what will happen), in hopes that these thoughts/feelings pass. I know if I go talk to the counselor in person I won't be going home tonight. Thank You....

Hi and welcome!
I'm sure our wonderful Community Leaders will be along soon with some additional support and information for you.
Hi there and welcome to the board. I wish it were under better circumstances--and that no one had to feel as much pain as you are feeling right now--and as we have felt at one time or another!
I don't know how much you know about depression but I want you to know that even though it can strike anyone--at any age, it is also quite treatable. I also want you to know that I can totally understand your frustration with the "system" of therapists, meds, DBT, and hospitals. Again, I've been there and most others here have too! It is frustrating--to want so badly to feel better and yet the pain--and the treatment, can seem endless! Depression can affect one's appetite, mood (obviously), sleep schedule, socializing, judgement and perception--to name just a few. When someone is very depressed, it can be hard to separate facts from feelings. For instance, even though things might FEEL hopeless right now--that is almost never the case!
Hi Zeke and Doug,
It's the fact of the matter that this is a lonely, hard and cold world. I sure agree with you there.
The reason I'm trying to face it all is for ethical reasons. I don't want to abandon my family to be "stuck up in the world all alone."
I wish I had some brighter words but right now I feel like it would be lying. However even though life is miserable almost every single day I don't think that suicide is the right option.
You know suicide isn't your only choice.
As I've said to your other posts you are worth it and counselling and DBT will help, oh and the hospital is not always a bad option. Make a list with me of your options:
(((Brenda)))
Good to hear that you made it safely through the night. I hope things continue to improve with time. I hope you will keep that list of things I said handy for times like these. Or make your own if they're different. In any case have a definate safety plan of things you can do to stay safe.
Hi Bugg,