Haveing a "very" hard time - Trig

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-31-2006
Haveing a "very" hard time - Trig
22
Wed, 01-24-2007 - 12:40pm

Hi everyone. The past 2 days have been very hard for me. If you read my other discussion title you will see why.

I am having a hard time fighting the urge to hurt myself. If it weren't for the fact that my Nephew asked me to babysit his 1 year old so his wife come go with there 7 year daugher on her field trip to the science center I might not be here.

I need a lot of prayers and support - PLEASE

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-09-2005
Wed, 01-24-2007 - 2:53pm

Hey there Sfarlow,

I've been feeling awful too lately. Winter is really depressing becuase we're trapped inside and it's dark and hard to get exercise. Excersise is a natural mood booster but I've been a couch potato becuase I like to walk outside, and it's way too cold.

Just remember spring is coming.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-31-2006
Wed, 01-24-2007 - 3:10pm

Thanks blue. I am done babysitting and on my drive home I had the urge just to drive and drive and drive and never come back. But it is snowing here and decided to head home. I even tryied to get myself to go to Walmart before heading home just to walk around. But I could not!

Gosh it is so hard.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-12-2004
Wed, 01-24-2007 - 8:21pm

Hey Shelly,


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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-31-2006
Wed, 01-24-2007 - 9:15pm
After I put the baby down for her nap the flood gates opened and I cried and cried for 45 minutes. Then her father called and said he would be coming home in an hour. I could not wait for my Nephew to get home. As soon as he arrived I booked out of there so he could not seeing what shape I was in. I see my family doctor tomorrow as well as my therapist.
I right now feel like bashing my head against a wall.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-12-2004
Thu, 01-25-2007 - 10:59am
I'm glad you are seeing your therapist--hopefully that will help you get through this rough patch you are going through! Just continue to be honest and open about what you are feeling so that the therapist can be of most help. And do let us know how it goes! Hugs, Lori
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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-31-2006
Fri, 01-26-2007 - 8:28am

I went first to my family doctor and she will not sign my flma papers to return me to work.
But did say she would give me my meds if I need them.

The therapist said that she discuss with the office manager about signing off on the FMLA and the office manager said by law the Pdoc has to be the one to fill out the FMLA papers. He was the one who signed them to put me on FLMA so he is obligated by law to fill out the papers to either release me to return to work or to put me on short term disability. We talked about me mood.. that I wanted to end my life but not right now but soon... She made me promise not to harm myself till I see her next week.
In the mean time my therapist along with another therapist I was seeing in the practice also want to continue to see me. They are working on a plan to help me.

So things are okay for now

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-12-2004
Fri, 01-26-2007 - 9:56am

Hi Shelly,


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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-31-2006
Fri, 01-26-2007 - 11:11pm

I'm thinking it would be in my best interest since I am still unstable had the set back with the doctor. Plus between Thanksgiving and X-mas I did not concentrate or take my illness seriously. What I am trying to say is that I dwelled apon preparing for the holidays as a way of coping with what actually was happening to me. It was my coping skill. Now that the holidays are over and things are quiet and all I have to think about is what I am going through. So I feel that I missed 4-6 weeks of getting better and taking my therapy serious and to put the skills they were trying to instill in me seriously. Now I having nothing to occupy my mind ie: the holidays, I can really think hard and work hard on my recovery.

But with all that has gone on in the past 2 weeks and the ending of my FLMA on Feb 1, I have reverted to the bad thoughts. I am fighting a very hard battle and I am concerned. I do have my DH with me this weekend so I will be safe. It is awfully cold here in Ohio so I am not sure what if anything we can do to enjoy the weekend. Maybe a nice fire and a good DVD along with lots of hot cider.

Stay warm

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-12-2004
Sat, 01-27-2007 - 11:06am

Hey there,


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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-02-2005
Sat, 01-27-2007 - 10:29pm
Sending lots of love and support your way.

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Amanda

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