oh what a day
Find a Conversation
| Wed, 02-07-2007 - 5:16pm |
When i posted this i was out of my mind. I'm much better now. i've talked to a good friend of mine and i know i scared a lot of people. it's just when it becomes verbally abusive and physically abusive with my kids i just can't take it anymore. I can't stand the things they say to me or them throwing things at me.
the two of them know how to get to me and they do it constantly. i don't know if i can change it or how to change it. when walking past me they push me out of their way. I'm at the point if i could send them somewhere for a while i would but there is no place to send them so i'm going to have to be the one to leave. form my own safety i need to get away from them.
my dh now knows that things have become physical with them. I don't want to call the police on them because i'm afraid of what will happen to them but i don't know what else to do.
Robin
Edited 2/7/2007 11:19 pm ET by libbysadeyes

Robin,
I can feel your pain and yesterday I felt the same way. My post got deleted becuase I was truly in pain and not in the mood to be "the good girl" for once.
No matter how much it hurts, you are a GOOD person and don't deserve any of it. Why oh why do bad things happen to good people?
I care about you. We all do.
Robin,
We're glad that you've found this community and are so willing to open up and share all the difficulties happening in your life these days.
Hey Robin,
right now i'm feeling much better. I almost believing that if i go away for a while things will calm down. but then i don't want to give them the feeling that they have won! I just don't know what to do with these two. I"m honestly telling you if i had a camera in my house watching what goes on you'd be surprised! no you'd be shocked!. I did put in a call to my therapist she hasn't called back yet. i've been stuck at home with no car while my car is in the shop. it has to have new brakes and rotors and new tires so i'm hoping to get it back tomorrow. I can't just go walk somewhere because it is cold and my heaalth well thats another reason i can't. there are no buses around here or i'd get on one of those. I didn't have the little girl i watch today and my kids knew it so they picked to day to be the worst day every. I was standing around the corner and heard the two of them talking about how much better life would be if i were to die. that then they could get dad to do this or they could get dad to do that. or even with the life ins. he would buy a bigger house. when i heard these horrible nasty things being said about myself i just snapped and i snapped god. i did take a ambien and a xanax and had 1 1/2 glasses of wine. i went into my room locked the door and read a book till i feel asleep. my dh came home nad checked to see if i was ok. he said heknows how i'm feeling about them and he just doesn't know what to do about them. I don't either but i do know that my mental state can't handle this right now.
I had an eye opener a few weeks ago and i'm holding on to that. it is the only little bit of hope i have. and i'm holidng onto one day they will change. everyone has been telling me this is normal teenage stuff but it isn't it isn't normal for your kids to make comments that they wish i were dead!
I'm just trying to make it through one day at a time and hope that things change.
Robin
Hi Robin,
Well considering this has been going on for months i dn't think it will pass that quickly. i've taken one of them to therapy with me and she refuses to go back. the other one just plain refuses. i've talked to my therapist and she said there is so much more going on than just normal teenage stuff here. They won't talk to me right now for days actually when i say something to them they give me a look like they could actually kill me and then turn and walk away. i mean they won't speak to me AT ALL! my dh see's this and won't do anyting to help. i think he is at the bottom of his rope with it also.
yesterday neither one of them did their chores and i tried to get him to help me get them up there to do them and he said i was trying to start a fight with them. one of them left her book bag on the kitchen table and of course when i asked him to back me up to get her to remove it he said no i was trying to start a fight. so right now everyone is ignoring everyone!!!
I have the package ready to mail out but didn't have the money until yesterday so i'll go to the post office today and mail it. i'm going to call Fern and tell her it is in the mail after I mail it. People have been asking questions and i can't answer them until I talk to her again.
Have you talked to her yet?
Robin
Hey Robin,