Help me please (trig)

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-31-2006
Help me please (trig)
9
Tue, 02-13-2007 - 10:01pm
Lori
If you are online I need a FRIEND! I have had another set back and I can't take anymore set backs. I have such a strong urge to hurt myself. I need a friend. My husband finally made it home because of the snow storm.
Please talk to me. I am desperate and no I don't want to go to the hospital. I just need to have a hug.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-12-2004
Wed, 02-14-2007 - 12:42pm

Hey Shelly,


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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-31-2006
Wed, 02-14-2007 - 1:34pm

Hi Lori
DH made it home around 9p.m. last night. It only took him 5 hrs to travel a trip that usually only takes 1hr and 15 mins!

He made me take Klonipins and I went to sleep till about 4 a.m. Woke up to several 3 foot drifts of snow - which means we are snowed in. DH did get the driveway cleared but out road is a mess.

Anyway the trig was the crashing of the high hopes I had on landing a new job. A recruiter contacted me last weekend and set up an interview this past Monday. The interview went great. It was a laid back interview - it was like sitting at a bar with two guys shooting the breeze. Later on the recruiter called to see how it went I told him it went well.

He said they told him the loved me and they were dotting the i's and crossing there t's and as soon as he hears back from them he will call me. But it looks like a go.

Well he called and said it was not a go. '
It was just another d*** let down for me. Lori I feel like I am such a loser.
It hurts me so bad. Why I can't get past the point of getting an offer. It has been 4 months and nothing.
I was home all alone-bad snow storm so I could not leave and man it just hurts me.
I got up at 4 a.m. and began crying all over again. My sister who is sick with a sore throat IM me all morning. I mention how God does not love me and wants Santin to take my soul. If God loves me why is all this happening. I have prayed and asked him for help. I've cried to him and asked him to help me and protect me. Instead he gives me all these let downs which I can't handle. I am on the brink. I wanted so badly to sit on the railroad tracks last night.
Sorry to talk your ears off.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-09-2005
Wed, 02-14-2007 - 3:52pm

Here's another e-hug.

I've looked for jobs many times and it usually takes a long time and many interviews. It's very hard. There's just a ton of competion out there so it takes longer. I'm going to be job seeking again very soon. And I'm pretty much dreading it! So we're in this together.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-12-2004
Wed, 02-14-2007 - 4:03pm

Hi Shelly,


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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-31-2006
Wed, 02-14-2007 - 4:11pm
It is all I can do to stay alive. The battle is getting extremely rough. and with every let down I get more and more drug down by all this failure. I am one complete failure. Its so hard to fight the fight anymore. I see no hope anymore I just want all this misery to end. Not next month, not next week, but now. I hate this I hate my life. I have no reason to want to go on. There is nothing for me to look forward too. Except fate. Not the fate of being happy but the fate that God has no love for me and that my ultimate destiny is spending eternity in h***. If I was a good person and worthy God would be here for me and send me angels to walk beside me and keep my chin up. I feel none of this all I feel is demise.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-31-2006
Wed, 02-14-2007 - 4:21pm
Why would a hospital position require you to transport clients? Don't they have family members who can transport them? If they do not have family once they are out in the real world they won't have you to transport them therefore they will have to rely upon public transportation which is your strong point and you can teach them how to get to doctors appt. pay bills ect. by using the busing system to make the independent.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-12-2004
Wed, 02-14-2007 - 8:59pm
No, I wouldn't need a driver's license to work in a hospital in terms of transporting clients. The issue there is that the hospital I am speaking of is a 40
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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-31-2006
Wed, 02-14-2007 - 9:09pm
Oh. Could you possibly move closer to that hospital?
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-12-2004
Thu, 02-15-2007 - 11:09am

Yup, I COULD do that...but I decided against it because I don't want to have to move twice in a short period of time! I've decided to wait to move until I go to live with my partner within a year. Hugs, Lori

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