therapy didn't go well

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-15-2006
therapy didn't go well
8
Fri, 02-23-2007 - 11:54am

Yesterday at our therapy session the therapist asked my dh how he would feel if i were to move out or i were to die. his answer he said he would be relieved.

so you can imagine the pain i'm feeling today. it is taking all i have to NOT get in my car and carry out my plan! I have the 3 year old i'm watching today and she is the one keeping me going today!

Robin

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-12-2004
Fri, 02-23-2007 - 5:07pm

Oh Robin.... I'm SOOOOO sorry! I know hearing something like that had to have been devastating! But you've come way too far to let this drive you to destruction.... please, remember that!


I'm concerned about what you are going to do with this information, though. Have you thought about it? Do you really want to stay with someone who can say to your face in front of a therapist that he'd be relieved if you moved out or died? It is no wonder your kids show you so little love and respect--look at who their male role model is! It is inexcusable for him to say things like that to you and I hope you will seek some further therapeutic support to make a decision that is in your best interest and that of your children. Please take care of yourself okay? Hugs and prayers, Lori

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-09-2005
Fri, 02-23-2007 - 5:26pm
What did the therapist say? That is a terrible thing to say to your wife. Like I just posted to Jessica, you deserve better!
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-11-2006
Fri, 02-23-2007 - 7:03pm
(((HUGS))) Robin, I'm so sorry your husband said that. It would be one thing if your husband said he'd be relieved to move out. It would still be a jerky thing to say, but I think even the happiest couples go through spurts where they get on eachothers nerves. And we all say things we don't mean, and wish we could take back. But about death, there is NOTHING that justifies him saying he'd be relieved over that.
Robin, I can't tell you what to do. I'm just starting to learn about love and relationships. But I do know that "For better or for worse" is supposed to apply to both people in a marriage. You deserve so much better than that, and I hope you do everything you can to find it.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2003
Fri, 02-23-2007 - 10:13pm
I am sooooo sorry
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-15-2006
Sun, 02-25-2007 - 4:05pm

I could tell she was stunned. we have another therapy session next thursday. we have been talking about little things things that have to do with the house or the kids but thats it. we haven't talked about what he said. i'm still really hurt and in a really bad place right now.

I'm supposed to be at my friends house tonight to watch their kids and because of the snow i came early. so i know he is enjoying having me away. you know what i'm enjoying being away. my friend told me i could have their guest room as long as i want. the only reason i haven't left yet is for my two younger children. my youngest is 9 and she is constnatly clinging to me. i think she knows what is going on. if i'm sitting on the couch watching tv she is right on top of me. the last couple of nights she has climbed in my bed because she has had nightmares. none of my kids have really had nightmares so i know this is getting to her. I just don't know what to do about it.

I've become sicker with my crohns disease sense this all started and i'm no longer in remission. they have increased my remicaide dosage to try to get me back into remission but it isn't working.

Robin

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-12-2004
Sun, 02-25-2007 - 8:02pm

Hey Robin,


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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-15-2006
Sun, 02-25-2007 - 9:36pm

Thanks Lori,

I will call the number in the morning.I sent my dh an email asking if he would be relieved that i moved out and if i misunderstood him that he would be relieved if i died. I know that when i almost died before christmas he didn't seem to bothered by it. I'm not sure if he is talking because he is angry or if he really does mean it. I know that if he really means that if i were to die he would be relieved is something i will neverr be able to get over. I think of it constantly and when i look him in the face or go to bed at night it eats at me and i just want to scratch his eyes out! How can he say that to his wife of 20 years how can he say that to the mother of his kids!

i'm still in such an emotional turmoil. i've stopped taking the ambien because i ran out of it and didn't have the 45 dollars for the co pay. so my nights are hard and i laythere awake and worrying and hurting. I hope tonight i can sleep a little.

Robin

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-12-2004
Mon, 02-26-2007 - 9:27am

Hey Robin,


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