New Here...Need Some Advice

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-23-2005
New Here...Need Some Advice
2
Mon, 02-26-2007 - 8:34am

My name is Shelly and I am 21 years old. I am a full-time college student. Last Monday, one of the professors at my school committed suicide. He was 39 years old and was recently divorced with 2 daughters, ages 4 and 2. I didn't know him real well, but I did have some conversations with him.

I have never known anyone who has committed suicide, so I am not real sure how to feel. I am SO sad, angry, confused, hurt...you get the picture. I went to his memorial at school on Thursday, and was supposed to go to the funeral about 5 hours away with my sister because she knew him too, but she backed out at the last minute. I am SO angry with her right now. It was important to me to go, but she decided to be selfish and not want to drive.

Any words of advice are GREATLY appreciated.

Shelly/21/TX

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-12-2004
Mon, 02-26-2007 - 10:53am

Hi Shelly (we have another Shelly on the board so I'll try not to get too confused--lol!) Welcome to the board--I hope you'll stick around as long as you wish--we have a great bunch of ladies here!


First, my sympathies at the death of your professor. I went to college several years after high school (I worked for several years first) and even though I'm older-I'd have been equally stunned/sad and angry at hearing such news. Sadly though, that can be the "tipping point" for many people who choose to commit suicide--the loss of someone or something significant. The fact that your professor is male, upped his risk factor as well. But I suspect, the "recent divorce" and perhaps fear/depression over losing his family "as he knew it" and maybe even fearing a custody battle over his children, just became too much for him to bear. I wish that were not the case and that instead he'd sought help!


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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-09-2005
Mon, 02-26-2007 - 4:18pm

It must be a terrible feeling to have one of your professors commit suicide. I'm sure the shock is part of it.

It's also hard to have tragedy happen at college because college is usually so full of life. At its best, college is a time of hope for the future, energy, and growth. When something like this hits out of nowhere, it shakes you up.

It's also hard to accept because stereotypically, a professor is supposed to be someone wise who has it all together and is successful at life. But nothing is that simple.

Try not to be too upset with your sister. She is probably feeling shaken up right now as well, even though she may not express it.

If you need to talk, most colleges have a free counseling service. I used mine once or twice when I was in school.




Edited 2/27/2007 3:41 pm ET by bluerains