A setback. (Possible trig)
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A setback. (Possible trig)
| Mon, 02-26-2007 - 7:19pm |
I feel like such an idiot, and this may be a little off topic. But I couldn't stop thinking about him yesterday, so I went and checked to see if he was online. (Through the yahoo member directory.) He appeared online, so I sent him an IM asking him if he were busy. No answer. I looked at the message box, and he appeared "offline." I think he's supposed to appear offline to ME, and he set it up that way, and put me on his ignore list. Man, that really hurt!!!! HE was the one wanting to remain friends after our breakup, and now, he does this! JERK!!! I feel like writing an email to all of his friends, telling them he liked to wear my underwear at times, and a few other embarrassing moments in his life that he shared with me. (If I offended anyone with this, I apologize. I'm just giving an example of how crazy this is making me.)
How is it that other people can have such control over the way we think and feel about ourselves? I wish I would have just left this alone, and continued to try to move on like I was. I wouldn't feel like dying right now if I did!
How is it that other people can have such control over the way we think and feel about ourselves? I wish I would have just left this alone, and continued to try to move on like I was. I wouldn't feel like dying right now if I did!

It's hard when we've not had closure on a relationship and/or some time has passed and we try to "check in" to see if it's now feasible for it to continue in some form--only to be rejected. Ouch!! It's a hard lesson I've had to learn a few times... I guess my suggestion---IF you want to be in contact with this man as a friend or in whatever form would be to write him a thoughtful but brief note making it clear that you are open to it and asking him if he is also. No response to a letter would be
I wouldn't go out of my way to hurt or embarrass him. I know I'd feel worse about myself later. But is it normal for me to want him to feel the way I do for just five minutes?
Sounds TOTALLY normal to me to want to hurt or embarrass him--after all, he hurt YOU and it's human nature (unfortunately) to want to "even the score" sometimes. Fortunately though, you realize that it would be best NOT to lash out at him because the relief would be fleeting at best and may open up a whole other "can of worms" so to speak!
I wonder if he just suddenly logged off and didn't get your message? Maybe it would be better to think that way- it's possible.
I know how you feel. I've acted the same when someone I loved broke up with me. In fact, I think you're being very classy and reasonable about the whole thing. You may be thinking angry or sad things, but you haven't done anything extreme. You've acted very maturely, I think.
To avoid getting hurt again, it may be good to have a "no contact" rule for a period of time- so you can your thoughts straight and give him a chance to think too.
Jessi