here again (poss trigs)
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here again (poss trigs)
| Mon, 02-26-2007 - 11:23pm |
I'm sorry for being a bother. Am at the place where I am wondering if I'll ever be able to pull it together enough to manage to raise my girls. I know that I really am a pretty lousy person. No matter how I look at myself, it's always the same, and I struggle day to day just to manage to function in the littlest ways. Fear of rejection and anger from those around me are what keep me moving at times, (at least moving to the point where it looks like everything is ok). I can't stand to look at myself, just the sight of me, makes me sick. I have NO energy nor motivation to do anything, mostly would just love to sleep but back pains interfers with that. I feel like a big whiner who has no real reason to be whining and totally worthless. Yes my therapist knows a good deal of what is going on with me. She was trying to get me to talk to the doctor or nurses to let them know but I can't do it. It terrify's me to ask for any kind of help. Not to mention that it won't help anyways, just get myself into more trouble. I think I am just waiting until I become totally paralyzed by all of this and I won't have to deal with the guilt and hopefully won't have to know what is going on. I'm rambling, sorry. Again, sorry to post, I probably shouldn't have.
Sandra.
Sandra.

Hi Sandra,
Sandra.
Hey Sandra,