WWYD- flirting with my DH
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| Sun, 03-11-2007 - 5:46pm |
Last night DH and I went to a goodbye party for someone who is going to support the troops in Iraq. DH is in the army reserves and working full time for the army doing support work now.
So there was this woman there who volunteers to support the troops. I've never met her before. She was flirting with my husband all night!
And he tells me she acts like this all the time! And he thinks that just becuase she acts like that to all the guys, it's OK! Grrr. Look it's one thing to flirt with a married man, but right in front of his wife? It was so disrespectful and I just didn't know what to do or say.
Here are a few examples of what I put up with. As soon as she saw us, she gave DH a huge hug and told me I needed to clone him so she could have him too. Ummm, OK. I told her his brother was single. Then she came to introduce her friend to DH, and said, "I can't tell you his name, I just call him Hot". I'm sorry to say I gave her a nasty look at that point. So then a little later a waitress came over and told DH someone wanted to buy him a drink. This woman was standing right there and she smiled and waved, and DH thought she was buying him the drink and he accepted it anyway. What the! It turns out it was from a guy who was buying drinks for all the soldiers (but not the soldiers spouses, we don't count, of course).
What should I have done? Other than giving her a look, I didn't say anything because I wanted to be gracious at the goodbye party. But I was fuming. I'm not jealous of her, and I know there's nothing going on- she wasn't that pretty, and I could tell it was just flirting. But it's still not OK to throw yourself at my husband right in front of my face!
What gets me the most was that DH did'nt seem to mind it. Plus he's never mentioned this even though he now tells me she acts like this all the time? Men! I am so fed up with him right now, I can't even say.
Edited 3/11/2007 5:49 pm ET by bluerains

Hey Blue,
Hi Lori.
I know nothing's going on with this woman. Still, it kind of ruined the party for me.
DH's reaction is what bothered me the most. He kept saying that it's Ok because she acts like that to all the guys. And yes, I did witness her telling another man "I'm going home with you! Your wife won't mind, right?" But that doesn't make it Ok to me.
I asked him why he accepted the drink when he thought she was buying it for him. He said he didn't want to hurt her feelings. So it's OK to hurt mine! He says that type of thing all the time! He'll walk on eggshells to avoid hurting an aquaintaince's feelings, but seems to forget mine!
And there are ways to be subtle and polite. If a man tried to buy me a drink, and DH was standing right there, I'd say "No thank you, I'm fine". How would that hurt his feelings?
This seems to happen all the time. If there's a flirt around, she'll zero in on my DH. And I think it's becuase he leads them on because he acts way too friendly and they take it the wrong way. I know he's not doing it on purpose, but whenever I point it out he gets super defensive and keeps doing it.
Of course, maybe they flirt with him becuase he is attractive and sweet.
But on the other hand, I like to hope that I'm attractive and sweet myself, and men don't flirt with me like crazy, since I've been married! They try, but I don't encourage them. So they back off pretty quickly. Somehow, I manage to do it without hurting their feelings! Why can't DH?
The most infuriating part of it all is that whenever I say anything about this or get upset, even this time, he turns it around and says that I'm jealous! Yeah, maybe I have reason to be!
I think it's an ego thing, he loves the ego boost. But it's at my expense.
Edited 3/12/2007 3:20 pm ET by bluerains
"I can't tell you his name, I just call him Hot
What was your dh's verbal response or physical response to that one. i know i have hard times thinking of comebacks until it's too late.
but i would have said something like. yea yummy and he's all mine! Or something like ohh lala he's all mine and my mama didn't teach me how to share!
or how about this one "hot hot hot and all MINE"!
ugggg erks you when people do something so stupid right infront of you!
"What was your dh's verbal response or physical response to that one."
He smiled and kind of laughed.
did he look uncomftable or did he kind of enjoy the ego boost. have some responses next teim and i'm let him know you would like him to put a stop to it in a nice polite way!
Robin
you know now that i remember. at one of dh's christmas parties we were sitting at the table and a women came over several times to try and get my dh to dance. he said no and danced with me insead. everyone at the table saw it and was joking about it. and I asked in a funny way "thats your girl friend huh" everyone laughed and he wasn't too happy about it. so after the party every now and then i'd ask him hey did your girl friend stop at your office today. and when she left the company he came home and told me "hey guess who doesn't work at the company anymore" i aked him who and he said "my girlfriend" and we had a good laugh over it. that was about 5 or 6 years ago.
Robin
Hey Blue,