How do others react?
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|Fri, 03-23-2007 - 5:40pm|
After seeing Allie's post where she mentioned that her casual acquaintances don't understand anything about suicide related issues I was wondering what experiences other members had had with others reacting to their being suicidal?
In January I was trying everything to distract my mind from the overbearing suicidal impulses and tried various UK helplines. One was the Samaritans which is very long standing and was mentioned in Fawlty Towers. The persons at the other end tended to be unhelpful, replying with scornful jibes to my confessions of being suicidal. I found Saneline (a helpline for those with mental illnesses) rather better and CALM (a variant for young men only) also a useful distraction.
When a professor recommended that I have counselling the first counsellor seemed rather uneasy and referred me to the university psychiatrist. The psychiatrist did not seem to be easily phased. He was quite calm one time when phoning me back after I had attempted to find him when feeling overwhelmed again although I received an odd look from the one other English speaker in the chemist whilst conducting the phonecall.
The head counsellor at the university was the one who took me to the hospital. She seemed sympathetic about the vague details of my home life I had given her, uttering an involuntary ejaculation at one point, but I got the impression she was rather tired of my company by the time we arrived there. The accident and emergency ?nurse treated the matter as routine. They have to ask a long list of questions, some of them rather silly. I believe they had an image wrong with one of the questions asking about psychotic symptoms. The nurse asked if I felt like I was being controlled by a robot, but I suggested that a marionette was a better simile, a concept he rather struggled with.
A really stupid nurse somehow mistook me for a doctor and asked where she should put a very distraught east asian man! *Why don't we have an eye roll icon* I was a little surprised about how the little man allowed himself to rant and burst into tears, I always try to keep myself impassive no matter how I feel, in my experience that has often been safer.
I've a feeling my father doesn't really grasp that I have been suicidal. Maybe it's because he has never been himself. I don't know. The pschiatrist I saw more recently was better at extracting information from me though is not impassive. When I accidentally gave details of school life and life with mother he said "terrible!" (he is Icelandic). I felt a little embarassed about this :o It's a regulation for them to send a transcript of appointments to patient's local GPs so there could be quite a number of doctors who know this stuff now.