How do others react?
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| Fri, 03-23-2007 - 5:40pm |
After seeing Allie's post where she mentioned that her casual acquaintances don't understand anything about suicide related issues I was wondering what experiences other members had had with others reacting to their being suicidal?
In January I was trying everything to distract my mind from the overbearing suicidal impulses and tried various UK helplines. One was the Samaritans which is very long standing and was mentioned in Fawlty Towers. The persons at the other end tended to be unhelpful, replying with scornful jibes to my confessions of being suicidal. I found Saneline (a helpline for those with mental illnesses) rather better and CALM (a variant for young men only) also a useful distraction.
When a professor recommended that I have counselling the first counsellor seemed rather uneasy and referred me to the university psychiatrist. The psychiatrist did not seem to be easily phased. He was quite calm one time when phoning me back after I had attempted to find him when feeling overwhelmed again although I received an odd look from the one other English speaker in the chemist whilst conducting the phonecall.
The head counsellor at the university was the one who took me to the hospital. She seemed sympathetic about the vague details of my home life I had given her, uttering an involuntary ejaculation at one point, but I got the impression she was rather tired of my company by the time we arrived there. The accident and emergency ?nurse treated the matter as routine. They have to ask a long list of questions, some of them rather silly. I believe they had an image wrong with one of the questions asking about psychotic symptoms. The nurse asked if I felt like I was being controlled by a robot, but I suggested that a marionette was a better simile, a concept he rather struggled with.
A really stupid nurse somehow mistook me for a doctor and asked where she should put a very distraught east asian man! *Why don't we have an eye roll icon* I was a little surprised about how the little man allowed himself to rant and burst into tears, I always try to keep myself impassive no matter how I feel, in my experience that has often been safer.
I've a feeling my father doesn't really grasp that I have been suicidal. Maybe it's because he has never been himself. I don't know. The pschiatrist I saw more recently was better at extracting information from me though is not impassive. When I accidentally gave details of school life and life with mother he said "terrible!" (he is Icelandic). I felt a little embarassed about this :o It's a regulation for them to send a transcript of appointments to patient's local GPs so there could be quite a number of doctors who know this stuff now.

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Heyyy Michiganj.,
I keep on keeping on. That's my motto:) TYVM for asking.
You have had your appt? What does 4 hour journaling entail? Is this an easy assignment & what is the expected outcome. I am very nosy today. LOL
Since the situation with my dd has deteriorated it is difficult to stop the inner critic. So, like you, I am sort of stuck in a holding pattern. I try to keep busy. I allow about 15 minutes of rumination, then try to move on. It sneaks back in & basically nips @ my heels alot.(I should have done this. I should have done that. I wish I'd been a better mother. etc.) What have you tried that worked even for a short time to break the pattern?
How are the tadpoles? I used to collect them as a kid for science class. It brings back happier times:) GL & GBU! (((hugs))) jan
Your motto is a good one Jan :) I think it is the sort of motto that is most practical for depressive people like us.
Hmmm, I don't know anything about your daughter's troubles, but if I did I'm really not sure what help I could be. Don't you have any friends who are parents themselves? If so they should see it as their duty to give you support and advice. I think it is to your credit that you are concerned for her though, my mother certainly never has any regrets concerning her lack of parenting skills!
Another member on ivillage suggested that when negative thought patterns are overwhelming we should concentrate on anodyne things like 'balloons and candy' or whatever we like that does not have negative connotations. I am aware that it is a very short term solution, but can't think of a better one :( The journal's purpose is to help identify negative thought patterns and their triggers.
The tadpoles have matured to become more froglike and they seems to have developed vestigial back legs. I have run out of flaked food though and they don't seem to eat pellets... :( I attempted to gather some newtspawn too, but ended up just harvesting cast off jelly :(
xoxoxoxo
Good idea about the walking - I don't know if I mentioned that Charles Dickens who was very depressive went on walks to stabilise his mood? I tended to go swimming on a nightly basis as well, but was deterred by having epididymitis >:x I like going to walk in the local park except for the fact that some idiots seem to consider the No Dogs rule to be optional!
I know that about being side tracked with the journal. It also seems embarassing to put down uglier thought processes... Basically the psychologist instructed me to keep the journal.
Hello Jan, thank you for thinking of me, I just happened to be passing through. The tadpoles are all grown up, but none of them were especially tuneful or coordinated and they're all gone now.
How are things your end? xx
Nice to hear from you:)
I am still *doin'* on my end. Having some trouble healing from a surgery in May. But always trying to look on the bright side.
How's your depression? Anything new happening in your life? You had a good thread going w/ the how do others react question. Any ideas for a new *thinker?* GL! (((hugs))) jan
I don't know if it's appropriate for me to weigh in here, as I am not suicidal at the moment, myself. But I would be lying if I said I never had those thoughts.
Jilly
Hi Jilly and welcome to the board. No problem at all in chiming in and joining us--even if you aren't suicidal right now or ever--the fact that depression has touched your life or the life of someone you care about is enough in my opinion!
Wow, I don't know where to begin really because you've made a lot of interesting, accurate and thought provoking points! First let me say how very sorry I am that you've lost two nephews to suicide. That is the greatest tragedy of depression in my opinion--lives are lost to it, lives that have greatly touched others, lives that likely would have been full of potential and meaningful had depression either not taken hold or had it been successfully treated.
It's nice to see you posting, Jilly. I am sorry to hear that you learned first-hand the pain of suicide. My sincerest sympathy):
Thank you so much for sharing your very personal & insightful thoughts w/our community. Please keep in touch. GL & GBU! (((hugs))) jan
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