intoducing myself
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| Sat, 05-12-2007 - 4:05pm |
Hi!
I could really use some support... Hugs.. What ever anyone can spare!
I have been suffering from depression for my whole life. I'm 28 years old and I have attempted to end my life twice, I've tried counsing and they told me I didn't have big enough problems and to just get happy! I've also been on anti-depressants.
I guess I'm feeling like I have not accomplished anything in my life and I am starting to wonder "what the hell am I doing here?" I have a horriable factory job that I hate, but it pays the bills and honestly there isn't any other jobs around where I live that pays over minimum wage. I have a good husband and we have been married for 9 years, but lately it's been getting boring and we have been having more fights lately too, probably since he got a new job and works 12 hour shifts and I hate all my extra free time. I don't have any friends or anyone close to me to talk to about anything. I feel so alone, I am alone! This isn't exactly what I thought my life would be like. Life is so hard and it is so painful to be alone with only yourself as company - especally when you don't like who you are!
What am I going to do if I always feel like this? What if it doesn't get better? I want to ask for help again but I tried that before and I did get some help but now I don't know who to ask for help. I just wish I had someone to talk too, like over coffee, and not online but I don't have any choice do I?
I don't want to bring anyone down who reads my post so I'll leave this thought with you:
I wish I was a glow worm,
A glow worm is never glum,
because how can be worried,
when the sun shines out your bum!

Hi gardengirl_val and welcome to the board... although I wish you weren't feeling so badly as to need us! I hope you'll stick around and get to know us and vice versa. We are a friendly, safe and supportive group here--both on this board and ivillage in general!
Already, I can see a lot positive about you... You've got a great sense of humor, you are warm and caring, a hard worker, friendly and I'm sure there are LOTS of good qualities I can't begin to know. That's how it is with depression--it affects our perspective, our mood (obviously--lol!), self esteem, judgement (at times and for some people), appetite, sleep, relationships and so many other things. The GOOD news in all that is that it DOES respond well to treatment in many cases. And studies have shown that the two things you mentioned--psychotherapy and medication work best in combination.
Hi! I am sorry to hear about your feelings. You are NOT alone. I have had times in my life when I felt the very same. It is difficult to even imagine this, but you WILL get better!
Try to think positively. Appreciate the small things in life. The many blessings you have. I have been guilty of looking @ the entire picture, becoming overwhelmed by it all