back with an update
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back with an update
| Wed, 05-16-2007 - 11:44am |
Hello everyone! Hope you guys remember me at all. I know that I have not been around much lately but I have never stopped thinking about all the wonderful people that helped me when I was in a really bad shape some time ago. I have thought about writing an update for ages but I guess part of my coping mechanism was keeping myself extremely busy so I didn't get around to it. I was also trying to keep the triggers away until I was strong enough... Anyway, as for the update, the therapist I found by chance was a major help to me. She never treated me like a victim. She treated me as a strong intelligent human being with some seriously deep wounds to heal but with potential to emerge stronger from the ordeal and finally convinced me of this too :-) I can say that although I still have my scars and some days it all comes back to me out of the blue, I am doing much better now. I have poured all my energy into creating at work and it is going really well. I am also using my writing to promote this foundation's admirable work whenever I get some free time to help. I hope in the future I will be able to help more. My personal life is suffering still I guess but it is not as chaotic as it once had been. I am saving money to move from this country I am trapped in (for those who remember you'll know what I mean) and it only recently occured to me that March 26, marking three years from the worst day in my life came and went and I hadn't even noticed.
Now, I am not saying that everything is wonderful or that I have achieved something great but one tiny step at the time and huge distances can be covered. What I am saying is that it really is worth it if we don't give up on ourselves. I am still having nightmares but now they are not as frequent as before, I still get emotional when I think of my ex boyfriend (first casualty of the rape) but I hardly do that anymore.
Now all I have to do is figure out a way to get over the sheer terror I still have when it comes to allowing men close to me emotionally and maybe I can have a normal life again:-)
Sorry I don't come here so often but rest assured that I am thinking about all of you! You are all really brave and you should be congratulating yourselves for having made it this far.A year ago everything was so bleak and I never thought my life was worth living but I am sure glad I am still around.
My dear dear Lori! How have you been? I hope life has been treating you well. you deserve all things nice. You are one of the most caring people I know and you have helped a lot of people (myself included). Bluerains! I would love to hear your news, hope life is better for you!
A very special thanks to all those wonderful ladies that dedicated some of their precious time to helping me when I needed it. It made a difference
Well, I am still thinking about all of you a lot even if I don't show up this much!
Sending you all my love and hugs
Rosaura
Now, I am not saying that everything is wonderful or that I have achieved something great but one tiny step at the time and huge distances can be covered. What I am saying is that it really is worth it if we don't give up on ourselves. I am still having nightmares but now they are not as frequent as before, I still get emotional when I think of my ex boyfriend (first casualty of the rape) but I hardly do that anymore.
Now all I have to do is figure out a way to get over the sheer terror I still have when it comes to allowing men close to me emotionally and maybe I can have a normal life again:-)
Sorry I don't come here so often but rest assured that I am thinking about all of you! You are all really brave and you should be congratulating yourselves for having made it this far.A year ago everything was so bleak and I never thought my life was worth living but I am sure glad I am still around.
My dear dear Lori! How have you been? I hope life has been treating you well. you deserve all things nice. You are one of the most caring people I know and you have helped a lot of people (myself included). Bluerains! I would love to hear your news, hope life is better for you!
A very special thanks to all those wonderful ladies that dedicated some of their precious time to helping me when I needed it. It made a difference
Well, I am still thinking about all of you a lot even if I don't show up this much!
Sending you all my love and hugs
Rosaura

Heyyy Rosaura, what a sweet and wonderful surprise to see a post from you!!! (In fact, I wasn't sure whether to use the hearts icon, the hugs icon or the celebration icon cause I'm happy you stopped by to update us!!)
I've thought of you so often and wondered how you've been doing! Believe me, I know what a journey it can be but I am so glad you have found such a great therapist and are now able to focus a bit more on your creative side and that you are finding ways to add joy to your life. That is so important!
Believe me it feels so good to hear from you again! I know I have been a stranger but really, I have been thinking a lot about you! I just wanted to let people know that while life never actually become a party, it does not have to be bleak forever. Things for me are completely different. I am still not exactly where I wanted to be but at least I am taking control of the situation and things are changing. You guys really helped. I was so isolated at first. Thing is I was so hopeless because I didn't believe it could change. I thought this is what my life was going to look like. Now, I am still insecure some times just like every normal person is but it is getting better definitely. Men.... that sore subject. I am sure that will get better soon too. I decided to write a long overdue letter to my ex, saying all I never had the chance to explain while I was in this turmoil as a way of finally letting go. Maybe he doesn't want to hear from me, possibly he will never respond and I definitely have no hope (or even desire) to be with him again but I really don't care. Maybe I won't even send it, who knows, this is about me, not him. So, Lori, this is my full update. Making new friends, exorcising old ones, making solid work plans, trying to create a better reality for me. Trust me, I will be dropping by whenever I can. just hope that it will not be to vent (although that is also part of the deal)
So, Lori, I hope you are having a wonderful weekend. I am sending loads of warm thoughts your way. I consider you a very special friend even though I never met you!
Hugs back at you!!!!!
Rosaura
Hi Rosaura,