Just needed to share...
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| Tue, 07-24-2007 - 12:30pm |
Hi,
I just felt I needed to get this off my chest so I thought this would be the appropriate place to do so.
I have a 9yo ds with special needs. He is in the autistic spectrum (Asperger's) and has ADHD. He sees a psychiatrist for ADHD meds and to help to try and find a mood-stabilizing med to control a possible mood disorder- most likely bipolar (like the autism and ADHD aren't enough). Well, this past week with him has been really tough. He had been very depressed and been having "rages". On Sunday, he told us he just wants to die. He just kept repeating to us he no longer wants to be alive and just wants to be die. My heart just sank. There was nothing I could say or do, I just cried and cried. He is such a good kid and I love him dearly and to hear him say that was horrible.
I don't really know why I'm posting, I guess this just scared me a lot.
Thank you for listening,
Peg

Hi Peg and welcome to the board--although I wish it were such that no one needed such a place because that would mean no one were hurting to this extent!
Welcome, Peg! I am sorry to hear what's going on. Also, that somehow I missed your post):
I know this must be extremely difficult to watch. Scary too! Lori had some good suggestions. What did you decide? How is your ds doing? Just wanted to check-in & see if there was some way we could help. There is a Families & Mental Illness board:
Hi Jan,
Thanks for asking about my ds. He is doing better. He had about a week and a half of depression and now he is doing better. His pdoc is aware of the incident (I emailed her to keep her informed) and we will be discussing it at his next visit (next week). All of the rest of his "workers" are also aware of the incident and we are all going to be working on his self-esteem and coping skills (as per the pdoc).
As for me, well that's a tough one. Ds pretty much triggered my own suicidal thoughts which I have suffered from for years and it was quite a struggle for me last week. I got him well and then had my own issues to deal with. It is pretty scary because each time I get the thoughts now I come closer to acting on them (this time I was counting the pills and looking up symptoms of overdoses on the net). The thing is, I'm not really depressed. Overwhelmed, yes, stressed, yes. Sometimes hopeless and helpless with my ds, yes. But I don't feel "blue" or "depressed" in the typical sense of the term (sad, crying, etc.). Anyway, I have a verbal contract with my tdoc that I will not take any pills without calling her or my pdoc first (made that yesterday). And I am feeling much better than I was last week (suicidal thoughts are pretty much gone).
So, that is our messed up family in a nutshell LOL. We are all getting back to as close to normal as we can get.
Thanks for the links. I view those boards often along with the child bipolar board (and the adult bipolar board). They are great places to post and get information.
Again, thanks for asking about us.
Hugs,
Peg
Please keep yourself safe, Peg. Dealing with the stress of everyday life & your ds & his problems puts you @ risk. It is a burden that moms have for all their children & sometimes they don't feel like they need a break. You DO need a break. You deserve some time for yourself. In most areas of the US there are social service agencies that will help in providing a respite for the caregiver. I hope you have access to that & will use it. Don't be ashamed to ask family & friends for help, too. Just getting out for a walk or to have coffee with a friend gives you a chance to re-group.
It's the instructions on a plane. If there's an emergency & the oxygen masks drop down, the parent puts their's on first. If they try to put on the child's first, they risk losing consciousness & the child will be left to fend for themselves. Put that oxygen mask on YOU first or you will be no good to you or your family. GL & GBU! (((hugs))) jan