Feeling sad and lost
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Feeling sad and lost
| Tue, 07-31-2007 - 11:09am |
I am new here and have read the other posts. It made me feel comfortable enough to talk about my feelings. I seem to other people like I am happy and everything is fine and deep down I am so sad and lonely. I have so much pain from my family. Not my husband and daughter. They are great. But with my extended family on my side. They have been so toxic for me. My parents died when I was twenty three and ever since then the rest of the family disintigrated. I have tried for about twenty years to make things better but nothing works. They are very toxic. It makes me so sad inside. Even my own twin sister is really bad. They are always negative and jealous. Even the nieces of the one sister are that way. It tears me up inside. I have always tried to be there for them, especially my twin and her boys. She is very destructive and an alcoholic. Her boys always came to me for help and now that they are teenagers they want nothing to do with me or my husband. They were like my sons because they had such horrible parents and it is shocking to me that they do not want to talk to us anymore. We always helped them and even at one point wanted them to live with us. I wish we could move far away to get away from the memories here. I have not spoken with them in about a year. I can't take it anymore. I've thought of seeing a therapist to help me with these feelings. I tried and tried for so many years to make things work for holidays and for my daughter but I think it just made it worse for her and my husband not to mention me. They are so unfeeling and also bipolar. And only think about themselves. I sometimes wonder how they came from my parents who were great parents. It makes me feel so lonely. I need to get a handle on these feelings. My poor husband sees my pain and I know it hurts him. He is great. They hurt him so bad too. He tries so hard too make me happy and he does but that pain inside is so deep. Especially around the holidays. Sorry for the long rant. I just needed to let this out. I am not depressed about life in general just how sad that my own blood and I mean all of them could be so sad and narcissistic. I try to take each day as it comes and try to make my life happy. I have also tried to meet new people which is hard. I have found a few and encounter some of these same traits. Even one of my neighbors. But we keep trying. They are good people out there you just have to find them. Has anyone ever seen a therapist and did it help them
I have never felt this bad, even when my parents passed away I was very sad and depressed from the loss but I still had hope for the future even though I new how hard it would be not to have them as I got older. Now I feel so desolate and I need to somehow shake out of this. It is not fair to my husband and daughter. I have to somehow accept that this is what I have to deal with and accept it. But how? I only touched the tip of the iceberg on what we have gone through the past year or two. My sisters are so sick. My twin is so destructive and mean and I fear for her children. I have called social services and nothing is ever done. I give up. I am so sad inside.
I have never felt this bad, even when my parents passed away I was very sad and depressed from the loss but I still had hope for the future even though I new how hard it would be not to have them as I got older. Now I feel so desolate and I need to somehow shake out of this. It is not fair to my husband and daughter. I have to somehow accept that this is what I have to deal with and accept it. But how? I only touched the tip of the iceberg on what we have gone through the past year or two. My sisters are so sick. My twin is so destructive and mean and I fear for her children. I have called social services and nothing is ever done. I give up. I am so sad inside.

Hi and welcome to the board... It takes a lot of courage to reach out to strangers and be vulnerable in order to gain some support and I commend you for doing that! This (as you hopefully have seen since you've read some of the other posts) is a safe, supportive community --as is all of ivillage and we are happy to have you join us!
Hi! Nice to see you;)
I am sorry to hear about the *toxic* family situation. That must be very difficult to cope with. As Lori has given you lots of positive feedback, I will just say that I learned a long time ago to *rise above* my family's toxic interactions. We all hold the key to how much or how little we will allow these things to affect us. There is no sense in making yourself sick over it. They are NOT going to change. You must accept that very painful fact. The therapist idea is a good one. I have found that a non-judgemental supportive sounding board is helpful when support is lacking among family/friends.
Moving may be an option. However, make sure you do it for the right reasons. That it will improve your life in someway & NOT be a way to escape problems. Problems have a way of finding us no matter where we live.
Keep yourself safe. Your life is important in so many ways & you mean alot to others. Keep in touch! We care & want to see you succeed! GL & GBU! (((hugs))) jan