so confused
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so confused
| Wed, 08-22-2007 - 6:03pm |
This is like the 5th time I have started a discussion in the past couple of weeks here but have cancelled them. I'm really in a bad place, I really don't know what I want to do about it for sure. I KNOW that IF I carried out my plan, I would not survive. Some minutes that seems like the best idea but .......... I really hate this. I did mention to my husband that I might end up back in the hospital and he just said "again" and I asked him what he suggested and he said he has no control over any of it and walked away. I just don't know how to handle this in an easy way, why does it all have to become so complicated?
Sandra.
Sandra.

Hey Sandra,
I know how awful it is to be in such a bad place.
It's so important to reach out and tell someone about how you're feeling at times like these. Sometimes just hearing yourself say it takes some of the power away from the negative thoughts and feelings.
I'm sure that your dh's response was upsetting but it's important to remember how hard it is for them to watch us struggle in this way. My own dh has said that when I was feeling this way he felt lost, powerless, helpless in his need to help me but not really knowing how. Be patient with him just as he needs to be patient with you. I've also found that talking with dh, being open and honest about how I'm feeling is helpful to both of us. It gives him a greater understanding and makes both of us feel like "we're in this thing together"
You're statement "I'm really in a bad place" is a familiar one that I've used myself. My therapist asks me to describe what that bad place looks like. By describing it you have to look closely at it rather than attempting to avoid it. Then you can see more clearly to navigate through it all. It's also helpful to make a list of the really bright spots in your life and keep it close by. I did this and I have to admit that I needed to carry it everywhere I went for several weeks to help me keep my focus.
Remember that there IS another side to this but you have to go through it to see the other side. The other side may come tomorrow or next week but it WILL be there.
Please stay safe. I'm sending warm, soft hugs because you deserve them.
Lucky
LUCKY
I'm glad you posted, Sandra. Maybe you weren't able to put your thoughts into words, but you are still with us. Still reaching out & making that human connection that is so important. We are here for you.
How are you feeling today? If you are still not in a safe place, please call your dr. or *t.* In spite of your husband's remarks, we know first-hand that depression is a flaw in your chemistry. NOT your character. You cannot help that. You can SEEK help though. If an admission is needed, YOU take care of YOU! GL! Please stay safe & keep in touch! (((hugs))) jan
Sandra.