Joyless Life
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| Tue, 08-28-2007 - 2:58pm |
I feel ungrateful writing this - I have a great family, friends and husband who loves me. But I'm just not happy. I feel like life is a lie - get up, go to work (and I like my job), come home, eat dinner, go to bed. I've heard it before "get a hobby, take a class," I'm not interested.
I think about suicide because I'm just so incredibly bored with life. I don't want to have kids, because I think why bring someone into the world who has to grow up, deal with a mortgage, eventually get sick and die. Positive, huh? But I expend a lot of effort thinking about how many people are fooled with cute babies without realizing there's not much fun to life. It almost seems like "I'm bored, I'll have a baby." I've never wanted to do that, these are just my opinions too, not how things really are.
I just hate how I can't take pleasure in anything. I've tried high doses of various antidepressants, and it doesn't help. It's like these are my core beliefs - that life is aimless and boring. There's no point.

Hi and welcome to the board.... I'm glad you found us and decided to post!
First I want you to know that you aren't alone... Many of us here have suffered or are suffering from depression and suicidal thoughts. Some of us have gotten through it and are doing much better while others are still struggling. No one is immune but you probably already know that!
I/we can't diagnose and so I can only offer you my opinion and support if you would like it. For what it's worth, you sound depressed. Or you may in fact have something physical happening biochemically that is causing depressive symptoms. Have you had a physical recently? That may be a good place to start since some illnesses (diabetes, hypo/hyperthryoidism, chronic fatigue syndrome, fibromyalgia etc) can cause depressive symptoms. On the other hand you may be one of those folks who for whatever reason (past trauma, biochemical factors, genetics etc) suffer from clinical depression or dysthymia. (Dysthymia is sort of a low grade chronic depression). You certainly have depressive symptoms--the lack of energy, no interest in life and especially the suicidal thinking.
You mentioned you've taken high doses of anti-depressants to no avail. Have you tried other treatment methods such as psychotherapy, biofeedback, meditation etc? Have you ever been in any support groups or been hospitalized for depression? Is this fairly new for you or have you suffered with this for quite some time? These are all factors that would be helpful for a professional to know in determining the best course of treatment for you.
First and foremost however is safety. Please, if you feel as if you might be in imminent danger, call for help! Depression IS largely treatable and you CAN feel better about life! Go to the E.R. and ask to speak with someone if need be! Do you have family supports? Do they know how you are feeling? Of course you can always post here, I just want you to be safe! Let us know how you are doing and please, don't hesitate to use the resources listed at the top of this page or your local resources
Hello! I am glad that you posted. I am sorry to hear about your feelings. We can certainly relate to what you are thinking. Being *sick & tired* of being *sick & tired* is the hallmark of depression. It makes for an unpleasant life. In fact, it totally robs us of the joy you spoke of.
I understand how you feel and have been there. I occasional visit that horrible place called “suicide”.
I won’t give you advice but can only offer suggestions. Have you thought about therapy.
Not sure how old you are but I think that everyone questions Life and happiness and what is the point. Those are good questions. However you have those questions yet you are stating that suicide is an option.
It is ins’t a pathway that you want to take. Maybe talking to a therapist you can see what are causing those thoughts.
If you reach the point of no return pick up the phone and call a hotline.
Take care of yourself and keep posting. The key is to talk and talk and talk and talk. Keeping talking. Do not shut down and keep your thoughts to yourself. This is a safe place and no one will ever think you are crazy.
God loves you and I am sure that you have many others that love you as well. From what you have said, you still have some depression and need to return to a Doctor. If the medicines did not help, they can try some other strategies. Your family and friends love you and I am sure want to feel better.
Your pain can be dealt with!!!!!!!!!! There are solutions. Please talk with some people you trust that can help support you while bouncing back. You can make a huge difference in other peoples lives.
What do you love to do?? Do you love animals?? What are the things which give you a thrill? I will pray for you tonight and all this week. God bless. Please seek some help and it can get better, I promise.
Hi Gentlejohn1,
I wanted to welcome you and also thank you for taking the time to respond to some of our members who are struggling. I'm sure it means a lot to them as it does to us! Please feel free to post again if you wish! Hugs, Lori