Feeling Hopeless
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| Wed, 09-26-2007 - 11:27pm |
I have been feeling very hopeless lately. Like there is nothing good in my life and I am all alone. I suffer from clinical depression and I take zoloft (generic). I also see a therapist every other week. The past two weeks have been one mini-crisis after another. I've had to have the plumber out, my car needs several hundred dollars worth of repairs, and I just realized that I have a dead or dying tree in my front yard that will need to go. I owe $30,000 in credit card bills and they are all for repairs, doctors, etc. I do pay my minimum balance on time, but all I can see is my increasing debt and I can't see a way out. Then last thursday I got a call back about my very first mammogram (I am 36). They saw something on it. They told me that it is probably fine, but especially since they don't have one to compare it to, they want to make sure that all is well. I realized then that I am all alone. If I really needed someone to go with me, there would be no one. They all have more important things to do. Mom lives in another state, sister has to work, work friends are working or on vacation. I have absolutely no one.
Then I started thinking about death as a solution to my troubles. I would not do anything, but right now all I can think of is that everything would be so much better for everyone if I was not around. I just can't see anything getting better. Everything is dark and I cannot see a future.
I also post to the depression board too, but these thoughts are new. I can't go back to the doctor because I need to work. Everyone in charge is gone and no one can sub for me.
Don't worry, I will not act on these thoughts, but everything seems hopeless right now.
Kay



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Hi!
I just wanted to thank all of you for being here for me.
Hi Kay,
I just happened to check the board before heading off to bed (yup, late night for me
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