support parent of suicidal adult child

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-02-2010
support parent of suicidal adult child
6
Fri, 07-02-2010 - 12:50pm

My 27 yr.old daughter has been battling depression for over ten years, with a suicide attempt at 18 yrs old. She has tried many treatment modalities and medications over passed years and nothing seems effective or lasting because she always comes back to the lowest, saddest state. She refuses to take medication, see a therapist or enter a hospital. She says nothing has worked and I'm inclined to agree with her.Nothing has.  She tired of trying. It is difficult to see her suffer everyday.


She has promised me she would not attempt again without reaching out to me first. I no longer know how to help her. I don't know if its fair for me to want her stay alive but I can imagine life without her.


What do I do? Where else can I turn for help?


 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2004
Mon, 07-05-2010 - 5:55pm
Hello & welcome. I am sorry to hear about your dd): This must be an awful stress & burden to you, as her mom. It's very difficult to get help for someone who refuses help. If your dd is actively suicidal, you can call 911 or the mental health authorities & have her court committed. It's not easy as a parent to do this. It also doesn't make the relationship between parent & child any better. There is a risk that the authorities will not agree that she is a danger to herself. They will offer her some options & you will have some peace of mind. I have had to do this w/my dd. Over time, she has forgiven me to a point, but she doesn't forget & brings it up when she's angry. I tell myself that I loved her more than anything & if she hates me forever, so be it. She got the help & she is alive!
Because she won't get the help, you need to find a way to live w/out this horrible fear hanging over your head. You are entitled to a life of safety & security. NAMI.org is a nationwide organization that offers families of the mentally ill the latest info & support through local meetings. They have a family to family class that is great for us. It would be ok for you to seek therapy. I have done it & many family members on the Families & Mental Illness board have too. Please follow the link in my siggie. In therapy, I learned to drop some of the fear. Mostly, I learned that it wasn't my fault that she felt this way & if she took her own life, it was her decision. Not mine. It also isn't my job to deliver every happiness in life to my dd. We are all responsible for ourselves. I still have plenty of bad days, but I do have some hope that she will recover. Someday she will see this is not normal behavior & seek help for it. Each day is a blessing. I thank God that she is still here & within reach of recovery.
I hope that you will keep in touch. My T&P's are w/you & your dd. GL & GBU! (((hugs))) jan

gem21uk

 

 


 



iVillage Member
Registered: 09-02-2009
Mon, 07-05-2010 - 6:29pm
Hi. I am writing to you because I, like your daughter, live my life the same exact way.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-02-2010
Wed, 07-07-2010 - 11:56am

I truly appreciate your words of comfort. But unlike you, my daughter has no hope. She has had major deppression, by her account for over 10 years. Her prospective is that it will never change, if nothing has worked thus far- then nothing will. She is tired of trying. Even when she is not

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-02-2010
Wed, 07-07-2010 - 12:03pm
Thank you for your words of comfort and support. I know I can only do so much
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-01-2006
Sat, 07-10-2010 - 9:50am

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2004
Mon, 07-12-2010 - 1:50pm
Thanks so much for sharing your personal story. It's a long road to recovery. Sometimes it feels as if we have to battle the depression demons daily. You are doing a great job! Your message gives everyone reading the hope that you experience. GL & GBU! Wishing you continued success! (((hugs))) jan