What do you say?
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| Tue, 01-25-2005 - 1:09am |
Okay, you're sitting with elderly relatives and they ask you why you became a vegetarian. And they ask you nicely, no snide overtones. They are eating their meals and all efforts have been made to get you a good meal.
So what do you say in that situation? What do you say if it's your peers, and how do you respond to the people who don't ask politely?
Those relatives I mentioned were raised on a farm, so they know how animals were treated way-back-when. I believe that while the Bible says humans were given power over animals, the treatment animals recieved at that time was so good that shepard's treatment of sheep was used as an example of loving care! At least animals who are hunted from the wild had freedom and have a chance to escape... not that I endorse hunting. And Jewish law required that they suffer as little as possible. But I told them that I always felt sorry for the animals, and had never been able to eat them without knowing what they were. And that I believed my diet had helped my health- even if Grandma did ask me pointedly if I was sick (I have a number of chronic illnesses) before I went veggie. She was surprised when I said "yes" so firmly and swiftly- I was symptomatic, but not to the level most would notice, and my problems are mostly genetic.
I point out to the "don't carrots cry when you cut them" types that pain is registered by the nerves, and we've never found such things in plants. And I have, when cornered, pointed out that God gave animals the ability to feel pain and their running from danger and response to pain shows that they feel it and want to live. Why would God create creatures with those traits if He intended them to be treated the way we do? Chickens wouldn't have feet if they were meant to lie in cages no bigger than themselves all their lives!
But there are so many negative ideas of vegetarians that I feel I have to be careful and diplomatic in my response to not add to the stereotype. Do you? How do you explain something so important to you and so foriegn to most people?
What are your responses?
Jaseann
cl-Celiac Disease
If your neighbor doesn't think you look sick, it doesn't mean your symptoms aren't real. If a doctor ignores you, it doesn't mean it's all in your head. If there aren't definitive tests yet, it doesn't mean the disease doesn't exist. You know your body- trust yourself!

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how i respond to such questions really depends on the circumstances but i'm always honest and at a minimum say that it is for ethical, environmental, and health reasons. the extent to which i elaborate on my answer will vary based upon what response i think might resonate best with the questioner and the context of the discussion. over a meal, i would be less likely to offer extensive answers and try to stick to directly answering only the questions asked of me - i find that people are more likely to be defensive or take offense if these issues are discussed while they are eating meat.
i understand your concern about not reinforcing stereotypes about vegetarians, but i think that can be prevented just by being compassionate and
I say the same thing basically every time. I don't eat meat because I really don't like the treatment of animals before they are killed, and the way they are killed. I also have fewer health problems when I don't eat meat.
I am always polite (or try to be). The only time I get really annoyed is when it's a family member asking me the same question in a mean way for the 50th time!
Grrrr....
I very much agree about stopping the stereotype! One nice polite vegetarian at a time...
:-)
when people ask honest questions, regardless of age, i give them honest answers. I tell them that i believe it is appropriate for people to consume animals if they feel it is appropriate. I tell them that i do not feel that it's appropriate (at this time) for me to eat animals.
I don't get into nervous systems and other things. I do talk about the treatment of animals. I think it's appropriate to eat animals (and their by-products) if they are raised and slaughtered humanely. There are ways to do this (biodynamic agriculture for instance)--so i support that. I also support hunting for food. I think that these are more appropriate than 'factory farming.' So, i tell people that, if possible, they should consider choosing where their meat comes from more conscienciously, if they want to reduce animal suffering.
Thanks for the answers.
I'm fairly new at this and was inspired by some of my peers. In August of 2003 my husband and I moved from Southcentral Indiana to Columbus, OH so that he could attend seminary. Some of the first people I met were (are) vegetarians. They were the first vegetarians I had ever met in my 26 years of life. It turns out that there are several vegetarians in the 300 student community. (It's a nice community, every body knows everybody, or knows somebody who knows somebody. Everybody is very friendly, if not friends with each other. If I needed something, I literally have a plethora of people on whom I can call.) Anyway.... Usually, at the community dinners there are vegetarian options. I think the president's wife is vegetarian.
Long story short, I'm now all but vegetarian. My friends accept me for me, so I don't need to explain myself if I choose to eat a 12 oz. sirloin or a 12 oz salad. (That's the other wonderful thing here. Personalities may not always click , but everybody is friendly and accepting of each other.)
However, my "problem" would be explaining to others, like my family. How do I tell my mother that Ive gone from all but craving her slow cooker roast to thinking of the poor cow who died just so I can have dinner? As I stated in another thread, my in-laws are definately more ominivore (sometimes I think they are more carnivore than omnivore). As I also said (I think), I'm the golden child-in-law, in part, because I married the golden boy. Oops. I'm listening to "Car Talk" on NPR and I got side tracked.
I think it may be time for a formal introduction soon....
Laura
in reference to telling your family, i think you just tell them. you can just say "i'm vegetarian now" or "i'm trying to cut out meat" (if you haven't made a full committment to being vegetarian). if they ask why, or if you feel like offering the information, you can explain briefly, as you just did to us ("i can't help thinking of the poor cow who died just so i can eat dinner.")
it might be scary, but hopefully they will be supportive. even if they react negatively at first, they will probably come around once they get used to it. just be patient. most likely, they love you for you, not for what
I have had SOOO many bad experiences talking with people about my choice to be a vegetarian over the past 20 years that I no longer discuss it. People who eat meat take offense to whatever a vegetarian says about it, so I find it easier to say, "It's a personal decision that I made." I don't want to offend anyone, but I also like to keep them wondering, to be honest.
I also have noticed that many meat eaters only ask this question as small talk anyway. It isn't really that they have any real interest in the answer. It's just such an easy question to ask. You can see their eyes sort of glaze over when you start telling them the real reason why you did it!
Karen
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