Im surounded by meat eaters!!!
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| Fri, 01-06-2006 - 1:10pm |
Hi,
I am having a delima. I grew up vegetarian, and didn't begin eating meat until my teens, mostly out of curiousity. I can no longer eat it. It makes me sick to even think about it. My husband LOVES meat, and I don't see that changing any time soon. But I find it hard to prepare two meals everyday. I usually end up settling for side dishes. I am at a point where I no longer want to cook the meat for him. There are no veg, members in his fam at all...For new years we went over his grandmas to eat and there were about 3 pork items.(it's the worst for me) And over and over I had plates put it my face "You don't want any?".....This happens at every fam meal.....it upsets me. And it ruins my appitite. Any suggestions on how to deal wtih situations like these. Also how can I get others to not feed my children meat when I'm not around. My grandparents use to sneak meat to us as kids. Any suggestions for getting hubby on board?
-Jay

I don't know if you can "convert" your husband. Usually, when people are told what to eat they get very defensive, just like vegetarians hate when people push meat in their faces or try to force them to eat it. So, you can't really force your husband to stop eating meat. I know that sometimes it's really hard not to make a comment about meat being served, but I bite my tongue because I know that my family just doesn't get it, but also because it's disrespectful to them.
I totally hear you on the meat-eaters-who-push-animal-foods-on-you, lol. Like tonight, my parents got chinese and my dad told me the list of the things they were getting. He was going to get 2 normal chow meins with a bunch of meat dishes, so I said "Why can't we get one vegetable chow mein and the other one normal for you?" His answer "Well, why do you want that one, it's not as good." Yeah, not as good for *YOU* because it doesn't have 60 kinds of meat in it, lol. Then when they got home, my mom says they got a vegetable and shrimp dish, and do I want some... For the billionth time, mom, I love you, but I'm not eating it! Shrimp isn't "more vegetarian" then beef to me! LOL. Argh, trust me, I know how frustrating it can be when people just refuse to accept that you don't eat the same as they do. My close friends who know I'm veggie do the same thing "Want some chicken?" "Let's share a pepperoni and bacon pizza!" etc, etc ad nauseum.
My advice is, try to find some healthy vegetarian recipes and make them for your family. This way, a vegetarian diet won't be so mysterious and they might actually stop and think for a sec that you're not "missing out" because you don't eat meat. There are so many healthy, tasty foods they probably don't even know about because they base their diets so much (prob. too much) around meat. Forgive me if I misunderstood, but you are raising your kids vegetarian, right? I'm assuming that your husband knows about this and is ok with it. If so, then you might want to have a little diplomatic talk with family members, politely asking not to serve your children meat, end of discussion. If your kids aren't veggie, then that's ok - maybe if you educate them about the benefits of your diet then they'll choose it over eating meat when they're older. If not, then you can't force them either - to each their own, I guess.
I hope that helped somewhat...! Good luck and let us know how it goes!
It sounds to me like you don't mind that the others are eating meat as much as the fact that they are not respecting you. Which is good- we don't have any more right to try to convert them than they do us. (I may have read you wrong, though)
One thing you can do is tell some of the major people- for instance, the usual hostess- that the meat is not apppetizing to you at all and that it, in fact, makes you lose your appetite for the foods you can eat. The important thing is to do this first, away from meals and all food, and second, quietly and calmly.
The policy in my house is that the main meal is cook's choice, and she (currently me)
My cousins are vegan. My cousins don't expect others to accomodate their eating habits, so they bring their own food. At Thanksgiving, they bring "tofurkey" and side dishes with soymilk and margarine. They explained as, "When you come to my house, you don't expect me to cook anything with animal products, correct?" Which is totally correct.
You have a chosen eating style and you need to accomodate yourself. In a minor way, I understand how you feel because I am overhauling my eating habits, and it seems as though everyone around me eats CRAP!
I am sure you mean well with wanting hubby to stop eating meat, but he needs to decide for himself.
The next family meal, bring a plate of your own food and heat in the microwave. When others offer you non-vegetarian items politely explain that you are a vegetarian. If the family reacts instead of responds, strug it off. You are at the family function to enjoy family. Let them be the ones that have issues, NOT YOU.
As far as your kids, my cousin lets others feed her kids animal based products, but at home, the boy eats vegan. She found that when she restricted his diet at others houses, the boy gorged himself on "forbidden foods" such as macaroni and cheese, chicken and ice cream.
I agree with you, I really do need to start bringing my own food. I don't want to force hubby to eat veg, It would be nice but thats not going to change. I do want him to start eating healthier. HE eats meat everynight and he likes skin and fat. And when he gets old it's going to hurt his body. He doesn't exercise. Anyway with that question I guess I was trying to ask, if the veg couples met each other that way, or are their any converts, after the relationship began. And what brought that change about. Also growing up veg, I know that there are more risks to feedind veg children things they shoudn't eat. We would phisically became sick. I remember stayiing at an aunts house and being fed chicken for the first time, and puking all day. My bod wasn't use to it. And the mom is the one who deals with that part. My daughter can't eat dairy. And I can tell when she's had it. So i do get a little upset when those wishes aren't met. anyway thanks for your suggestions.
-Jay
I hear you, about watching others eat skin and fat and such.
My friend's dad is a heart attack waiting to happen. He NEVER eats green veggies, ever. And if he doesn eat a salad it's slathered in ranch dressing.
My aunt was the same way. She ate fast food or take out at least 20 times per week, smoked two pack of cigarettes per day and weighed (I'm guessing) 280 on a 5'3" frame.
Well, at age 55 she had a stroke and had to re-learn how to use the right side of her body. Scary stuff.
Sometimes educationing people, even if they don't want to learn, is the best. My cousin had to tell her in-laws and her own mother that they had to respect the wishes of THE MOTHER. Yes, grand parents spoil children, but when it comes to the child's health, THE MOTHER should have the respect of her elders.
Sometimes you have put the situation into perspective for other. For instance, my cousin said to her mother, "Mom, did you let anyone tell you how to raise me when I was little?"
Duh, of course not. REmind your elders how they didn't like being challanged, when raising their kids, and neither do you!