The grass is always greener unless ya..

Avatar for hulagirl_leilani
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
The grass is always greener unless ya..
12
Thu, 04-24-2003 - 3:53pm
Good morning Ladies! Aloha!

I just read Libby's post about other boards and I have to agree with her that this board is the best one on the web. Believe me I have had time on my hands to look... What is that saying ... "the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence"? Well girls I have to tell ya that if that is so... then that is only true because I had not fed the grass I have... ha ha ha... I think with love and support and forgivness and with lots of laughs my grass can be greener if I choose it to be..... Right girls? Right! So you girls are stuck with me for better or worst richer or poorer to death do we part! ha ha ha... oh boy what a thought.... ha ha ha...

Do you girls know what giving a person "stink eyes" means... well it is the looks I get from people when my dinners do not come out as planned.... Last night I decided to cook... ha ha ha... so I got some foster farm chickens and put them in the oven to bake. Now my oven is.... lets see... huuuummmm... about 23 years old and loves to do things to get me in trouble. Remember that remodeling job that was suppose to happen in my kitchen way back when..... well girls it has not happen yet. So the longer it is put off the more this kitchen attacks me and goes on strike when ever it wants. And last night this kitchen was in one of its worst moods yet... I guess it missed me not cooking in it or something because it was really in a piss poor mode last night!!!

My oven is having a hard time keeping a temp because it's old I guess. It looks new because I have hardly used it over the years... but now it leaks air through the door of the oven. Now girls this oven has one of those self cleaned options on it. I have never used this feature because like I said I don't use the oven contraption that much. William Barbeques rain or shine outside.... so I won't burn down the house when using the oven to broil meat in it...aaaahhh... like I have almost done a few times when I forgot I was cooking in the past ha ha ha ha... (I am going through menopause so ya can about imagine my cooking skills now! ha ha ha!!!)

Any how I got this bright idea last night to use the lock feature on the door of the oven that is only suppose to be used when the oven is on self clean. But I figured that mode can not possible work on this sucker because it is so old so I could use the lock feature on the oven door to keep the temp constant inside while I cooked my chickens. Now who would think the oven would go into a self clean mode when the door is locked? In the self clean mode this oven heats up to a very high temp to burn off the cooked on food in the oven.... Yup ya know where I am going with this... the chicken I put in the oven really started to cook when I locked the oven door. But I figured it would stop when I unlocked it... but.... nooo... nothing in my life is that simple.... duh what was I thinking....

Now I am the type of chick that likes to find solutions to the problems that I create for myself. I do this so I will learn how to take care of myself when I get old. I like being a self contained unit... I guess you can say...... so I never call William for help unless it is really necessary.... and it was not necessary yet! ha ha ha ha...

I struggled to get the door to the oven unlocked but it was as though this stupid oven had to go through it's self cleaning mode before it would allow me to open it again. So I panic as I watched the chickens in the oven catch on fire. Smoke started to leak from the oven so I still figured I had every thing under control... ha ha ha.... I opened up the kitchen door leading to the garage door so all the smoke would billow out the garage door and out into the street instead of the living room where William was watching t.v.. I did not want to bother him with my little problem in the kitchen yet.... But those darn smoke detectors in the kitchen and dinning room went off and told on me.

First thing William does? no he does not ask me what the problem is... the first thing he does is grab a fire exstinguisher when he saw the kitchen on fire.... Wrong move sweetie!!! This isn't one of Island Princess's typical fire alarms! I told him he had to get the oven door open before the fire exstinguisher will work!!!!

By now there is a lot of smoke coming out of my garage and before I knew it I was entertainment for my neighborhood. People were running through my garage yelling and screaming.... Boy I could not believe how upset everyone was getting over a little smoke?... The fire could not spread because it was encased in a metal oven designed to with stand high temps in clean mode so I could not figure out what everyones problem was..... Okay so I burned another dinner... big deal.... people really have to learn to chill when I try to cook!!.... Yelling and screaming is not going to make my cooking techniques any better people!!! I think what amazed me is the fact that my neighbors should be use to the fire drill by now... but noo... drama drama drama!

Well I voted to open up a bottle of wine and kick back with the neighbors and watch the show in my kitchen... buttt...nnnnoooooo....Nope can't have that... I did not think there was any thing else any one could do...then to just let the oven run through it's self clean mode... and then let the door would open on it's own. No problem people!!! But nooo..... can't do that... got to save those chickens little rear ends.....

People did not like my idea so they voted to tear the oven apart to get to those foster farm chickens inside..... Well it took a while before the professionals could dismantle the oven.. You should of seen them trying to unscrew one red hot screw at a time... just to get to the gaget that kept the oven door in lock mode open... After a few burnt fingers the oven door was opened.... Then the cops, fire department, paramedics, ambulance, and neighbors left my house mumbling about my cooking... ha ha ha...

Ya know girls I bet my neighbors are glade to see me back home even though they bitch a lot about my cooking skills ha?... ha ha ha ha ha ha... I mean I have to be a source of entertainment around here... so what would they do without me....ha??? ha ha ha.... huuuummmm.....

The guess you can say the grass is always greener unless ya live next to me! ha ha ha...

Okay it's nap time... typing all this pooped my little butt out... hope you all are laughing a lot today and are in great modes and life is treating you all well....

It's Good to be back home here on the board again ladies!

Aloha oye!

Hula Girl




Aloha,

Lei

 

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-1998
Thu, 04-24-2003 - 4:10pm
OMG, Lei! You gave me a good laugh! I have tears rolling down my face! You never said what William had to say after the whole thing was over.

And, do you get a new stove now?

--Red

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Avatar for cl_campmum_of3
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Thu, 04-24-2003 - 4:12pm
Oh Leilani that is so funny! I am imagining your neighbours now takign turns cooking for you to spare them from all the smells!

Gee you could have said to them all haven't you ever heard of blackened chicken before... sheesh let a girl alone to do her thing!

Hugs, Lor

     

 

          

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-09-1999
Thu, 04-24-2003 - 6:39pm
Leilani....What a great sense of humor...lol....Get take-out lady...lol

Hugs and glad you are posting!

RJ


 


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Thu, 04-24-2003 - 6:51pm
The next time you have a dinner order out:) Hugs, Bernie
Hugs, Bernie
Avatar for hulagirl_leilani
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Thu, 04-24-2003 - 9:34pm
This little kid came running after me when I pulled into my drive way today to tell me His Mom thinks I have a screw loose... ha ha ha... duh I wonder what gave her that idea! This is funny I just got back from the doc's today and the kids in the neighborhood that was here from the night before had to come running when they saw my car pull up just to tell me I am the crazy lazy on the block. ha ha ha.... how funny ha.... Now girls I have been out front of my house now for a good 45 minutes trying to convince the kids I am not crazy... ha ha ha.... I love this neighborhood....

And girls we do take out 6 days out of the week so last night I figured maybe I would cook! ha ha ha.... I love it when I am feeling good and can laugh again with you girls about my life problems....and make William's life hell... ha ha ha...

Hark! I here William's car.... I wonder what he brought home for dinner today... ha ha ha.... I better cut him off at the pass before the kids get to him...

exiting stage right-->

Aloha,

Lei

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Fri, 04-25-2003 - 12:30am
Leilani, that has GOT to be one of the funniest things I've read in years. You never cease to amaze me. I'm beginning to realize that rather than relaxing at your house when we were there, I should have been in a constant state of terror and apprehension. I'll bet William is a lot closer to doing that kitchen remodel now! You take care.

Kat

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 04-25-2003 - 1:04am
Eh Lei, that was so hilarious!! not going let you

cook my house, keh? lol cin

~*~ Aloha to all .... ~*~

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Fri, 04-25-2003 - 9:16am
Hula girl, dang girl whatcha doing??? I laughed so hard!! Was going to ask you and William up for a dinner, but wow, it scares me,,lol! Good Lord! not a boring day around your place, must of been a hair raising sight. Hope that you buy a new stove, might not have a choice now. So did you go out for dinner after all that? I am sure those chickens werent all that tasty , have a wonderful day,, and take some classes on cooking,,lol!!!!!! hugs.......Pam
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Fri, 04-25-2003 - 12:57pm
I literally have tears streaming down my face I am laughing so hard at this. This is so, so funny!!! Honestly, it sounds like something I would do...REALLY!!! I have had smoke in this house many times!! Thanks for the laugh, gabby

       


 


                              &n

Avatar for grams2many
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Fri, 04-25-2003 - 4:36pm
OK Lucy, where was Ethel in this fiasco? If your stove is electric,did it occur to anyone to throw the breaker?And

stop the cooking process? You poor thing, stick to salads.

Good luck in the future next time take out. LOL

Hugs Mary

Grams

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