Jobs going great!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Jobs going great!
7
Thu, 05-01-2003 - 10:35pm
Well wanted to let all of you know that my new job, as a cashier at Krogers is doing just fine, today was my 3rd day on the job. Man and the kids behaved while I was at work, no fighting or arguing! wow, did I come home to the right trailer?? I do have a problem though,, ok here it is, my oldest daughter (Tracey) will be 30 in August, Friend of the court has finally got her dad on back child support, well all summer I was spilting it with her what ever I got, to help her out, and now that I have the trailer and more bills, I cant afford to do this, she is having a fit! Her dad called me the other night, called me every name he could because I didnt give her half, I have been driving on expired plates and no insurance, because I couldn't afford to get them. well I got a check, gave her 100.00 instead of half, which would have been another 80.00. she blew a cork, and he did too. Now mind you I raised her all on my own since she was 3 years old, How dare him call me and talk to me in that way! or her feel I owe this to her?? she came to my place today,, compaining about it, and how unfair it is. Now this is a person that is planing a trip to Florida in June with her husband, and wants me to watch her 4 kids! now how unfair is that! Complains about not having money, and how unfair I am, but wants to go to Flordia to stay in a condo, they bought into time shares, which they cant afford at 200.00 a month! but yet she cant afford to pay her car note, or buy groceries half the time, and hubby has a 600.00 truck payment! who is spending out of there range?..ohhhhh kIds! now am I wrong or what?? Her dad came into the store tonight and comes through my lane, told me to GIVE her half! who is he to tell me what to do! At times I am so sick of being HER mother!,,,sorry I had to vent this some place...HUgs...........Pam
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Fri, 05-02-2003 - 1:29am
Pam so glad you like you job but I know it is hard work. Hang in there.

Hugs

Mary

                          &n
Avatar for hulagirl_leilani
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Fri, 05-02-2003 - 2:34am
Bottom line is this... Your right and they are wrong!

Aloha,

Lei

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Fri, 05-02-2003 - 7:47am
Pam, IMHO, You are so right. LIke you said you paid all the bills and raised her all those years. I actually think ALL the money is yours, I mean she's 30 YEARS OLD!!!! Maybe you could have her think of it this way...your ex BORROWED money from you all those years (he wasn't paying anything right?), so now he is merely PAYING YOU BACK! Maybe if you can try to explain it that way she can get it through her head that it is not HER money, you are being very generous to give her anything. That's my 2cents. Charlie
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Fri, 05-02-2003 - 9:24am
Charlie,,,, thankyou,, I have tried explaining it to her, I was doing it out oof my heart to help her, but she needs to get a job, and her hubby need to take care of this family her took on,,HUGS........pam
Avatar for ive_got_five
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-11-2001
Fri, 05-02-2003 - 11:25am
I absolutely agree with the others. You paid the bills to raise your daughter. That's what child support is for. At 30 years old your daughter and her partner should be supporting themselves. And...your ex has no business coming to your place of employment to demand anything!!!

Shar

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Fri, 05-02-2003 - 11:58am
OK, Pam...here is my nasty side. I don't think you owe her anything. As for the ex, I think I'd smile sweetly and say " Oh, but this money was suppose to help raise her. Since, I'VE already done that..it's mine". For dd, when she compensates you for the rough times you had because dear ole dad didn't pay his support. And all the times you went without inorder for her to have things, why you'll very happily give her all the back support money. Until then..zilch, nada, nothing.

You said she has 4 children. How would it be if she had no help. Ask if she's thought of that. You raise your children doing the best you know how. Finacialy, you owe them nothing. In fact my fave bumper sticker is "I'm spending my childrens inheritance". LOL

A little story to show just how rotten I can be. My ex still has to pay maintenance or was called alimony way back then. He hates it with a passion. So, make sure I spend every single penny on things for other people, then make sure he knows it. Really, really aggravates the H out of him.

Hugs,

Rain

5360774911227568598063_610w

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Fri, 05-02-2003 - 12:23pm
Rain,, thats funny, I just am so sick of the crap, I put up with it years ago, and I dont want it anymore, so I feel You ladies are right! you helped me decide, and this money will be used for me and my other 2 children, her hubby needs to take care of them, I did my job. Hve a wonderful weekend, I want to jump into chat and say hi, before I start getting ready for work,, be safe!! HUGS,,,,,,,Pam