This Week's **Happy Post**...5/19.......

Community Leader
Registered: 11-20-2001
This Week's **Happy Post**...5/19.......
18
Mon, 05-19-2003 - 2:53am
Please tell us the best thing that happened in your life this past week. Gabby

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-1998
Mon, 05-19-2003 - 9:21am
This may sound like bragging, but it's really not, ok? I applied for 5 internships for next fall. Talking with my advisor about it, he told me that he would take all the paperwork and write letters of recommendation for each one then give me the paperwork back.

Well, I couldn't believe what this man wrote about me! You know, I've always had trouble receiving praise or compliments. It's part of my upbringing. But these letters made me feel at once elated and embarrassed! He told the recipients that I am the best student he has in the track this year and possibly the best one he's ever had...and it went on like that for 3 paragraphs. I have never had such a nice letter written about me, EVER!

I didn't know he thought some of the things he said, in fact, I've always kind of wondered what exactly he thought about me. Now I know!

I'm curious how others of you deal with getting praise and compliments.

--Red

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Mon, 05-19-2003 - 9:44am
Red,

Go ahead and congratulate yourself and accept my congratulations as well!! That is wonderful "happy" news and not bragging at all! I think on this board we are good at sympathizing with one another, but we are also good at celebrating the good stuff!! You obviously deserve the praise of this advisor....so....WAY TO GO !!!!

It is interesting that you ask about accepting compliments. I, too, have a hard time accepting them....or apparently even "hearing" them?? This actually happened to me this week. I had written a piece of music which I thought was pretty good. I ask a fellow musician/composer/friend to look at it and he found (and circled) all sorts of places that "I should look at again!!". Anyway, I felt pretty battered by his comments!! I took my music and came home feeling defeated! THEN.....yesterday, this same person overheard me tell someone else that he had "hated" my composition. He cornered me later and ask what in the world I was saying. I told he that he had basically torn it apart !!! He said....YOU WEREN'T LISTENING!! I told you it was excellent work but needed some places re-done! Now, I'm telling you the truth....if he actually said that....I really did NOT hear it. He says that I have such high expectations of myself that I tend to get down on myself and don't hear the good stuff. We work VERY closely together, so I have got to assume he knows what he is saying both professionally and personally. Sorry for the long story, but I thought it was coincidental that you mentioned that today!

Have a good week and give YOURSELF a hug !!! (I'll try to remember the same!)

Hugs,

Sooze

Susan siggie
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Mon, 05-19-2003 - 9:50am
Wow red, that is fantastic! It sounds to me like you are a very hard worker and wonderful student for him to say such nice things. You should be very, very proud my friend. Hugs, Gabby

       


 


                              &n

Avatar for capwo
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Mon, 05-19-2003 - 9:55am
I have one! I have one! As I've said before, I don't usually post under these since I am very happy most weeks anyway. But last week getting the plumbing done was different! Anyway...I AM HAPPY THE PLUMBING IS DONE!!!!!

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Avatar for capwo
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Mon, 05-19-2003 - 9:59am
Have you noticed that when given a compliment most of us tend to point out what is wrong instead of right with ourselves? I catch myself doing that. I think most are uncomfortable with compliments but are usually overjoyed to get them. And it sounds as if this was totally deserved Red so go ahead and brag! Gloat even!! You earned it! Hugs!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Mon, 05-19-2003 - 10:39am
Woo-Hoo...and I am happy for you!!

       


 


                              &n

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-1998
Mon, 05-19-2003 - 10:43am
Thanks, Sooze. It's interesting, isn't it? To look at ourselves from the outside like others do? Interesting and uncomfortable.

I've actually researched this problem I have. There's a thing called the Impostor Phenomenon, where you don't feel like you really deserve the praise and success you achieve, but attribute it all to luck, a mistake on everyone else's part, or something like that. It's a failure to accept that you're as good as you are. Instead you fear that you will be "found out." In other words, you feel like an impostor.

I'm a classic case, apparently. Even though I get Dean's List letters every quarter, I still feel like I'm not really all that good, that it must be everyone else that has the wrong impression. I know, sick, isn't it? BUT, I'm working on it really hard.

I think it was really pounded into me as a child that 1) I could never really measure up to Dad's expectations, 2) you do not EVER EVER draw attention to yourself or get puffed up over praise or compliments.

That childhood is a sticky thing, isn't it?

Have a good week, Sooze...I bet your composition is lovely. Someday I'd love to hear it.

--Red

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-1998
Mon, 05-19-2003 - 10:44am
Thanks, Gabs...I'm working on it. --Red
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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-1998
Mon, 05-19-2003 - 10:45am
Yep, you're right, Cappy. Thanks.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-1998
Mon, 05-19-2003 - 10:45am
YAAAAAYYYYYY!!!!!
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