This Week's **Happy Post**...5/19.......
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This Week's **Happy Post**...5/19.......
| Mon, 05-19-2003 - 2:53am |
Please tell us the best thing that happened in your life this past week. Gabby
| Mon, 05-19-2003 - 2:53am |
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Well, I couldn't believe what this man wrote about me! You know, I've always had trouble receiving praise or compliments. It's part of my upbringing. But these letters made me feel at once elated and embarrassed! He told the recipients that I am the best student he has in the track this year and possibly the best one he's ever had...and it went on like that for 3 paragraphs. I have never had such a nice letter written about me, EVER!
I didn't know he thought some of the things he said, in fact, I've always kind of wondered what exactly he thought about me. Now I know!
I'm curious how others of you deal with getting praise and compliments.
--Red
Go ahead and congratulate yourself and accept my congratulations as well!! That is wonderful "happy" news and not bragging at all! I think on this board we are good at sympathizing with one another, but we are also good at celebrating the good stuff!! You obviously deserve the praise of this advisor....so....WAY TO GO !!!!
It is interesting that you ask about accepting compliments. I, too, have a hard time accepting them....or apparently even "hearing" them?? This actually happened to me this week. I had written a piece of music which I thought was pretty good. I ask a fellow musician/composer/friend to look at it and he found (and circled) all sorts of places that "I should look at again!!". Anyway, I felt pretty battered by his comments!! I took my music and came home feeling defeated! THEN.....yesterday, this same person overheard me tell someone else that he had "hated" my composition. He cornered me later and ask what in the world I was saying. I told he that he had basically torn it apart !!! He said....YOU WEREN'T LISTENING!! I told you it was excellent work but needed some places re-done! Now, I'm telling you the truth....if he actually said that....I really did NOT hear it. He says that I have such high expectations of myself that I tend to get down on myself and don't hear the good stuff. We work VERY closely together, so I have got to assume he knows what he is saying both professionally and personally. Sorry for the long story, but I thought it was coincidental that you mentioned that today!
Have a good week and give YOURSELF a hug !!! (I'll try to remember the same!)
Hugs,
Sooze
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I've actually researched this problem I have. There's a thing called the Impostor Phenomenon, where you don't feel like you really deserve the praise and success you achieve, but attribute it all to luck, a mistake on everyone else's part, or something like that. It's a failure to accept that you're as good as you are. Instead you fear that you will be "found out." In other words, you feel like an impostor.
I'm a classic case, apparently. Even though I get Dean's List letters every quarter, I still feel like I'm not really all that good, that it must be everyone else that has the wrong impression. I know, sick, isn't it? BUT, I'm working on it really hard.
I think it was really pounded into me as a child that 1) I could never really measure up to Dad's expectations, 2) you do not EVER EVER draw attention to yourself or get puffed up over praise or compliments.
That childhood is a sticky thing, isn't it?
Have a good week, Sooze...I bet your composition is lovely. Someday I'd love to hear it.
--Red
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