choices in life

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-19-2003
choices in life
3
Sat, 05-24-2003 - 11:09am
After posting my choice concerning my disowning of my son, 25, i

think back over the years of ones life, as many of us do. there are

many out there who have to make choices, good or bad, and in the end,

i think there is always a point in life.

one must climb the ladder in life,, fall, and climb again, i have

always been a strong woman, wife, mother, thruout my life of ups and

downs, i have married and divorced twice...i have been married to

money and have been poor, i have struggled, scrapped to make ends

meet, but as i raised my children they have always been number one...

now that our children/ have grown to adulthood, those values i

taught them hopefully will remain so they will have a good life ahead

of them. those of us have had or do have children who choose not to

deal with reality and life and making the right choices....as a mother,

i feel i have failed when one of my children fails..i often think what

did i do wrong.... i know i shouldnt feel that way, as i know if did

the best i could....but it still hurts to deal with children who fail

at life....

i recently remarried last year after 10 years of being a single

mother... i have made alot of wrong choices in life, and have learned

from those wrong choices.. it only has made me a stronger person....

my now husband is the best thing that ever happened to me, we are

like soul mates...as most of my life i have made the wrong choices in

men....finally i think god has finally said,, mary has finally deserved

better...and i am thankfull for all that i have now and will have...

our children/my children,,,are the best thing that ever came into my

life....as parents we try our best to give advice, teach them to reach

their goals, and climb that ladder in life....some fall...but one has

to climb and stand tall for what life is about 'learning'....life is

is a lesson.... i just want to give my two cents about life...and

hope others understand the choices i had to make...life is not easy..

but life can be easy if one makes the right choices in life. i look up

to and respect all mothers out there who like myself have to make

choices that hurt when it comes to our children...and in the end...

i hope and pray it all works out...life is too short...and as hard as it

seems at times, i know i am making the right choice at this point in

my life.....to all mothers out there who struggle with a child/children

who have failed at life....i try my best to think positive....and

remember this saying.... as tough as life is dealt to us at times...

there is always a reason for things happening in ones life.. and in

the end we will look back and know why....and understand why it happened.

thanks for listening

azlibra -mary-
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
In reply to: azlibra53
Sat, 05-24-2003 - 11:44am
I sure hope this all works out for you and that someday life will be better.

Hugs

Mary

                          &n
Avatar for sassysooze
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
In reply to: azlibra53
Sat, 05-24-2003 - 11:45am
Mary,

I think the "best" we can do in life....all areas of life.....is only the "best" that we know how at that time with the resources we have available at the time. Choices have to be made in the present. Hindsight sometimes reveals that these may have been "good" or "bad" choices, but we certainly can't beat ourselves up for making those choices. We have to take today and go on from here. Also, I think we raise our children to the best of our abilities, but they become young adults and are making their own choices. At that point, we must realize that those choices (and the consequences) are theirs and we can take neither credit nor blame. Of course, there are situations in the world where parenting has been obviously poor as in abuse etc., but for most of us....average folks....we do the best we can! None of us is the PERFECT parent....there is no such thing as we are all human!

I feel like you are second guessing yourself here....and I want to say DON'T. It sounds like you had to make a tough decision concerning your son. I am sure you made the right choice for you and him. Sometimes we have to have "tough love". Who knows.....maybe he will mature and someday the two of you will be communicating again. It also sounds like you are lucky to have a wonderful dh. You need to enjoy your life with him and feel confident that you did the best you could with your children.

Thats my two-cents!! Many hugs,

Sooze

Susan siggie
Avatar for mindy46
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
In reply to: azlibra53
Sat, 05-24-2003 - 1:33pm
i dont think i have ever met person who didnt want their children to succeed and make their parents proud.when its my turn to leave this earth i want to go knowing that my children are standing on their own two feet are happy and have succeeded in life.so this means i will be around for a alot of years!!LOL all kidding aside,we all have made choices that we would like to go back and change,but like you said mary,this is what makes us what we are today,stronger women.our children are no different,they have to go their own way in life,make choices that they will latter regret and hopefully learn from these experiences,and move on to a better life.if they could live on our advice and regrets,it would make life too easy for them!!glad that you found yourself a soulmate,and just stay hopeful that your son will come around!!((hugs))mindy