it was a quiet,peaceful sunday morning. spring was in full bloom,and the sweet smell of the apple blossoms filled the air.the sun just peaking above the horizon,cast its lite upon the lake and formed natures diamonds on blue waters. i was sitting on the porch,sipping my coffee and listening to the birds sing, when out of the silence of the early morning a loud blast sounded off in the distance shaking the very foundation of my house and the houses around me. i thought this queer as no planes were flying overhead, so the thoughts that this mite be a sonic boom was unrealistic.then as i was just about to relax,another blast,this was no ordinary blast. it was two long consonants and 3 short syllables loud followed by two more consonants!!then what followed worried me, a green thick mist,which reaked the smell of only one person....THE PHANTOM PHARTER!!!!people began to open their doors and come out on the porch,i tried to yell and tell them to stay indoors,but no one could see or hear me,the green mist was so thick!!!i heard coughing,gagging and rasping of breathe.i knew i had to do something fast,as i was being overwrought with fhe foul smell of this early morning pharter!!how dare he ruin such a beautiful spring morning with his obnoxious odors!!i was furious!!even the birds were blasted out of the trees,feathers flying,thru the air.the sun which was once peaking over the horizon, was now clouded by this anal animals putrid smell!!i had had enough!!i had to do something and do it fast!!i reached for my hose,and turning on the water full blast i yelled to the neighbors to do the same!!thru the thickness of the murkey mist they seemed to acknowledge what i was saying.together we sprayed,hoses in full force,we atacked this flamboyant flautlant fleeing phantom and his ability to sicken even the healthiest of people!!
it worked!!the green mist began to vaporize!!i could see my neighbors cheering from their front yards.another battle of wits won against the infamous phantom and his anal antics!!drenched with water,i looked for my coffee,which was now the color of sludge,but joyfully i noticed the sun began to peak out again,birds,albiet featherless,began to sing.the smell of spring was back and stronger then before!!but in the distance,i saw him.riding atop his horse,gas mask on,cape flying,surrounded by hiw own green mist,he gave his signature shout,ehaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!the phantom pharter strikes again and off he rode!!
who is this phantom pharter and why does he continue to nauseate us with his replusive odors,deafening us with his RAT TA TAT TAT TAT sounds???he will and he has returned,time and time again,leaving behind his phantom pharts.so beware and be prepared..for at anytime.....in anyplace......he will strike again!!!!!
this is another in the series of the phantom pharters gaseous escapades.
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That was so good, thanks for cheering my day up so much!
Hugs, Lor
Oh the smell...lol lol Jackie
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