Feeling very tender today....

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-1998
Feeling very tender today....
13
Mon, 06-02-2003 - 7:47pm
Ok, for a reminder--- remember that I am a full-time student at University, right?

Well, this a.m. I went to my Research Methods class, taught by a Ph.D. She (for the second or third time) went into a rant about how much we've learned in this class that will push us ahead of anyone out in the world who's never studied research design before. (I suspect that this is her way of patting herself on the back for sharing all her wealth of knowledge with us dumkopfs.)

THEN...she went into a new rant about medical research and doctors that do not give good care to older people and that "you YOUNG people" will need to really listen to what they're saying to your parents as they age, because the docs will dismiss them because they're old!

THEN, she added that she herself had been at the hands of a quack some years ago when she had cancer of the leg. The doctor cut her horizontally instead of vertically, causing permanent nerve damage. She has no feeling in her toes on that leg! That was a really long rant by her!

Well, girls, I sit right in front of her and I know I looked stunned and ready to burst into tears at any moment. It was all I could do not to leave class. She can see that I walk with a cane and do so with great difficulty at that! Of course, she doesn't know that I am going to have major invasive surgery in 16 days and that I'm already scared half to death! But, it just seemed so unnecessary. She's gone off on the medical community once before in class.

Do you think I should say anything to her? I only have her for another 10 days.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Mon, 06-02-2003 - 10:26pm
Red,

I think you said it....rant! This surgery is going to change your life for the better. Face it, talking to her may do little but waste your breath. This lady doesn't sppear to be conscious of those around her. More self involved.

16 more days Red before you begin a whole new life. The first step is scary and won't be a walk in the park. After though, all the long walks you wish. I am hoping you join us in September. You and I will walk together if I can keep up with you.

Personaly, I have lost count of the people who told me having a hip or knee replaced was the best thing they ever did. You will join their ranks soon. As for the doc not doing her surgery correctly, I have a feeling he knew what he was doing. Most likely was darn good reason for the way it was done.

Do have one suggestion. There is a cream now that makes less scarring. You might want to ask about it. It's by prescription only.

Hugs,

Rain

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-09-1999
Mon, 06-02-2003 - 11:47pm
Red...I think I would have told her to SHUT UP! That was so unnecessary and mean to all..The world does not revolve around her!

Yes Surgery is scary...but in the long run you will feel soooo much better. I know I was scared out of my mind about my gall bladder surgery last summer. And that was not even an overnight stay. Think positive and all will go well!

Hugs

RJ


 


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Tue, 06-03-2003 - 12:22am
Red, I do think her remarks were completely inappropriate. She's supposed to be teaching, not preaching. It might not make any difference, but I think I would write a note to her department head about her behavior. She might have upset others in her classes as well as you.

I don't remember hearing about your upcoming surgery. Is it a hip or knee? I wish you much good luck and a positive change in your life. I'm sure it will go just fine!

Hugs, Pam

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Tue, 06-03-2003 - 12:27am
My gosh, I can't believe how insensitive she is. Would it make you feel better to say something to her? If the answer is "yes", then DO IT!!!! I think you should go with your feelings on this my friend. Only 16 days away, I didn't realize that. You know i will be thinking about you. Big Hugs, Gabby

       


 


                              &n

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Tue, 06-03-2003 - 12:52am
Red, you have way too many middle aged angels thinking positively for you to have anything at all go wrong with this surgery. Of course, it wouldn't hurt to mention to the doc before they put you under that you want him to be sure and cut vertically!

Go ahead and say something if you need to. She's obviously got some issues that explode out of her occasionally. A little tacky to do that when you're sitting right there with your cane.

You are going to feel so much better when that surgery is all over. What a thing to look forward to. Take care.

Kat

Avatar for freeof
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 06-03-2003 - 8:38am
Just let it go Red. Also, God be with you during your surgery. Now keep us posted when you feel like sharing. BIG HUGS. ..Free
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Wed, 06-04-2003 - 8:05am
Some people! Geeze! This prof sounds to me like she's in early meno/or was pms-ing and was having a really bad day and decided to spred it around. It was totally inappropriate and you know it and we know it and if she thought about what she had in her teaching plan for that day, she probably knows it too. Guess I'd keep quiet basically since I'd keep quiet if somebody did something really stupid in front of me and that's what she did. I also agree that she may not know the whole of the story of why her surgery went the way it did. I doubt that she was willing to listen to hear why it went the way it did. I realize that it is difficult to brush the incident off, but you should. Hugs, BB
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Wed, 06-04-2003 - 11:45am
Red that woman was just talking and she had no idea what you were facing. I am betting she never even paid any attention to the fact that you walk with a cane. Ignore her she is way to self involved.

You just remember this surgery will make life so much better for you. Take care and you hang in there soon it will all just be a memory and you will be walking great again.

Love ya

Mary

                          &n
Avatar for cl_campmum_of3
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Wed, 06-04-2003 - 12:24pm
Red I think that was very insensitive of that instructor! I would be rather upset also if I was you, but I think saying much to her would likely be a waste of time.

I am betting this instructor has already heard it and is thinking I will do as I please in this class. Reason I say that is because for her to dis the medical community she has to have issues. Now I hope that your surgery goes smoothly and that you can walk back there to kick her patootey!

Hugs, Lor

     

 

          

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Wed, 06-04-2003 - 7:02pm
Red I would complete the class but I would call the teacher aside and tell her your feelings. Sometimes people do not realise they are being insensitive and need a reminder.

I remember one time when I was in class one young girl could not understand the concept the teacher was trying to convey. She repeatedly asked the teacher for help only to have the teacher berate her in front of the entire room. I was so upset by her totally unprofessioanl behavior I approached her during break,in front of a number of other students, and read her the riot act. I told her in all my years of teaching I have never degraded a student the way she did and she had no right calling herself a teacher! I told her it was her job to help that student understand the principles she was teaching and instead of doing that humiliated the girl. After I said my piece I walked away and then I realized I just killed any chance I had of passing that grade. At that point I did not care. Ultimately I got an A in the class, after that the teacher was more sensitive to the students needs and 2 years later had the girl, who was in high school with my dd, call me to say thank you for what I did. She said she was amazed anyone would go against the teacher to stand up for her.

Talk to your teacher it may help her to become more sensitive. Wising you well, Bernie
Hugs, Bernie

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