I need some serious advice........
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I need some serious advice........
| Mon, 06-16-2003 - 12:17pm |
As you all know, graduation was this weekend, so my mother is here from California for that. Each time I see her I wonder how much longer she will be able to live alone. We truly do not believe she should be living alone anymore. Not only is she very, very slow in her movement (cane most of the time), but she seems to be slipping slightly in her thoughts. I know much of that is the hearing aide, but still it scares us. We also have learned she has an incontinence problem, although she says it takes too long to get to our bathroom from the kitchen. She truly can not take care of herself properly. If we try to talk to her she will fight us and say we are trying to put her in a home. She will get defensive and angry. She is a VERY independent lady and that is the reason we have let it go this far. However, she is NOT a young 80, she is 80 and it shows. Her house is a mess, she has no way of cleaning it herself, which is another reason for a smaller place. All we want is for her to move into a smaller place, a condo or apartment where there are other seniors. Living in a house alone is just not safe anymore. Believe me, we have tried and tried to talk to her and she only gets upset. We are at our wits end with this. I'm sure some of you have gone through this, so please help. Thank you, Gabby

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Would she be returning to Cal. or staying near you? If near you, I might start by showing her around some of the places available. Mention they are designed with her convience in mind. No yard to mow, no outside work. People who will help clean, yet still her own private place. Might make new friends also.
Wish you luck Gabby. We had my dad and great grams at home.
Hugs,
Rain
to realize that they can't live alone anymore.
Would living with you be an option? Never easy, tho.
We went through this with Greg's mom last year; she is
also 80 now. She's been living alone since 1998 when
Greg's dad passed.
So now we have Greg's mom in a beautiful and well-
appointed 8-resident residential carehome.
We put here there because it
was most like being in your own home.
Maybe there is something like that near you?
The one Greg's mom is in has 2 round the clock nurses.
Each resident has a very tasteful large bedroom with bath.
The staff does all the cooking, washing, cleaning; takes them to
doc visits, picks up all the meds, and provide daily
activities and excursions, etc. Can't think of anything
they don't do, lol, and I told Greg that if we live to
be that age, that's where we want to be; the owner has
had such a success that he opened 5 others just like it.
I so hope that she can come to her senses. But seems
like dementia is slowly starting in on her, just like
it did with Greg's mom.
Gabby, keep us posted...we know exactly what you are
going through. ((((((Hugs!)))))
love,
Cindy
~*~ Aloha to all .... ~*~
I know it has to be very hard for an independent person, or one who wants to be and can't, having to face this. But I also think that they have a terrible picture in their minds about these places, and like one of the replies to your post, if you could get her to visit some of these condo's for seniors, it might make a big difference in what she may be picturing in her mind.
From what I have seen and heard about this kind of assisted living, I wouldn't mind living in one myself.
Sorry I can't be much help Gabby, but I just wanted you to know that I wish you the best of luck with this situation, and I'm send a big comforting hug.
My dadis turning 88 and I know there are times that he should have someone there with him
but his pride keeps him from admitting he is not any longer to manage on his own.
W have offered to get a housekeeping service in for him, but nope too much of a mess he thinks, so we said we will clean it before and he says nope I don't want one. We have offered to get meals on wheels for him as he does not alway have his meals and soemtimes they are not the best meals when he does make them, but he says oh no I never am sure what I want to eat so would rather make my own. There have been times he has burned a pot dry, not once or twice either.. he either fell asleep or??
I too wish for answers, we have offered to have him live with us and that is so out of the question for him, he will not give it even a moments worth of time.
So when you get an answer I too would like to know what is some options!
Good luck! Hugs, Lor
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