If you are calm and collected while....
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| Tue, 07-08-2003 - 3:37pm |
Good morning Ladies!
Go out and make your life interesting! If your parents told ya that when you were a child do you think you would be where you are now? Or would you have lived your life differently?
With me I would not change a thing about my life. All the trials and tribulations in my life has made me more resilient and a better person. As a result I consider myself to a survior instead of a victim in life. I have had a good time with Leilani! So much so that some times I forget how old I am and go way beyond my comfort zone in order to win more then loose in this game we call life. I have some regrets but when I look back on them I can see how I grew out of the experiences I have gone through in my life. I try every day to make my mountains that I am faced with into gold mines with Gods help..... who ever you conceive him to be. And if I think I can not go on and I see the task before me as impossible for me to win than I think about the little musturd seed which will grow into a giant tree when watered and feed properly. And then I okay with my life again.
Some days it is not hard at all for me to just let go and live and make my life interesting! But there are other days that I struggle with it. But when I look at the alternative... you know the path well traveled I can see that if I choose that path my life would not be as interesting to me as it is today. I am never bored with Leilani because she always seems to have a party going on in her head all the time. I think some times my body goes on strike because it is the only way I will slow down and stop and listen to people in my life that needs to be heard.
The other day I saw some one I had not seen in a long time. I could not believe he was my age because his body image was the look of a player in the victim game. And he acted like he was a 75 years old instead of 52. He was all caloused on the inside of his brain and had shut down to all the opportunties just waiting for him to take....because??? I don't know why?? I can't think of any excuses for any one who just shuts down and quits seeing all the positive possibilities still waiting for them in life no matter what age they are. It's as if he just gave in because that is an easyer path to take in life then living life as though it was new. To weird. Then on top of that he actually tried to rationalized why he grew so old in his attitude so early in his life. I am not saying the path that I have choose to live is any better or worse than any one elses. I am just telling ya this because I am facinated in the chocies of paths some people wish to take in life which leads them no where close to learning new ways to live life. Understand girls? I am not judging any one in this post? Then why am I writing it you ask. Well I think some one needs to hear my thoughts today out there in cyberspace..... I might be wrong but what the heck I am going to write this any way! Do you girls ever follow your intution even when it is bizarre? Well I am today.
Take for instance this board. Girls this board is the same board as it was before the new format hit it. What has changed is the people on in. Some people are afraid of change while others embrass it as though it was gold. I love it here.... you guys are fun to play with. As you all know I have came back with a new attitude! With a new board I figure it is time for me to let go of my old ways and become a new person. The idea to change was not because of any thing that was said to me it was a revelation that with a new board I have another chance to be some one I like better then who I was. Any minute or any second of every day I know I can stop what ever I am doing or saying and choose to go down a different path because deep down I know it will make me a better person to myself.
I miss all you girls terriblly who have decided not to come out in play on this new and improved board. First I was really depressed about loosing all you girls but then I thought about how this board was 31/2 years ago when there was only a few girls posting on this board and we had a good time so whatz my problem I asked myself the other day.
I am looking at the change of ownership of this board as an positive opportunity for me to meet new cyber sisters and cheerish the ones that have stayed. There is that saying that says some thing about there is always a reason why things change... I forgot how it goes.... maybe one of you girls can help me out with it... Okay I hear ya thinking to yourselves as you read this--> how in the heck do you know what saying I am talking about? ha ha ha... I love it when one time one of you girls said that you had no idea what I was talking about in some of my posts but enjoyed them any way! Isn't that a riot!
I think I am writing this because so many of you girls have chosen not to play the new and improved Queen game with a twist. I think I just don't understand how people can pass up an opportunity that is staring them in their face that will make them laugh again and enjoy the little qurks in others. I put a twist in this game on purpose and Queen Pam took it and ran with it. Pam Mahalo for playing this game with Cindy and me. I guess it will just be us three choosing to put joy back into this board. That is cool girls we all are allowed to be and do with this new board as we see fit! I am disapointed in you girls because what has happened in the pass has shut off your laugh valves. But it is your choice so Pam, Cindy and I are going to respect your feels guys. But at the same time the three of us are going to laugh at and enjoy bring sunshine into each others life. It is just a shame that more of you have choosen the path well travel on this. But what the heck we are women and we can do what we want to do which will make us happy even though that happiness comes with a hefty price tag.
My thoughts on all this is as follows...
There are times in every life when we feel hurt or alone... But I believe that these times when we feel lost and all around us seems to be falling apart are really bridges of growth. We struggle and try to recapture the security of what was... but almost in spite of ourselves we emerage on the other side with a new understanding, a new awareness, a new strength. It is almost as though we must go through the pain and the struggle in order to grow and reach new heights.
I thought I would share this with you girls in hopes that it benefits some out there in cyberspace. I have no idea why I thought of this maybe it is an attempt to get Mindy to come back and write an ode for this new and improved board... Or maybe it is just my weird way to say goodbye to all the girls who thinks there is just to much carnage on this board to make it fun again. I don't know why I am writing this girls but I have an over whelming urge to share this with all you girls today. It is my Aloha to all the girls who we have lost and a hello to all who are going to come.
Fellow cyber sisters-->
Be a Torch... or be a spark...
Be a candle in the dark... or be a sunbeam or a star....
But always be the shining light you are....
Now I am going to go lay on the couch and make my life interesting while I gradually recover my health.
Aloha,
Leilani
P.S. If your scratching your head and trying to find the moral of the story well then I guess this post was not ment for you. You lucky dog!

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Cindy I miss my buddies and if I said or did some thing to them then I would like to know about it so I can correct myself in the future. I don't know about any one else but that is how I learn to better myself. I agree some of us are toxic to others but like I said we now have tools to help us cope with the psycho chicks who are not handling menopause as well as others who are on this board. And I admit I am psycho some times because I am going through menopause and I can't help getting pscho some times. Now wait that is not totally true... My doc has up my Prozac so now I have more chemicals in my body to fight the rage that is going on in my head. Life is just to short... and I love it here and so I am not about to jump ship unless the water goes over my fuzzy little head.
Some years back I was severely depressed so I sought professional help to work through my depressions. And one of the things that helped me was to acknowledge my depression feel it in all its glory wallow in it for twenty four hours do what ever I need to do and if that is to beat myself up then so be it what ever works for me I do. So now I have taken that lesson I have learned one step further and applied it to all the areas in my life and that works for me. Maybe this is not what other people like to do because it is not nice and ya don't feel good while ya doing it but believe me for me this is how I work stuff out in my brain and become a better person. I am going to open my mouth and question stuff in my life because if I don't one day I am afraid I will be a mean old bitty because I never asked the questions and got the answers I need to know to become any thing different then a mean old bitty. I don't want to be a mean old bitty when I grow up so I ask questions and drop hints thats just how I this dyslexic ADD person called hula girl by many learn. That is how I grow up to be the person I want to be towards others in life.
I remember people logging on to this board and apologizing for posting depressing posts. Or they said they feel ashamed that they are complaining they hurt and at the same time feel bad about complaining because they felt they had no right to complain because some people on this board were sicker then them. I cried when I read these posts not because they were depressing or complaining about aches and pains or about the dark side about life... but I cried because I felt I let these girls down who felt they did not have the right to call a duck a duck if it walked talked acted and felt like a duck and I did. So I decided after reading this one post that I would never tell any one how they should or or should not feel because their problems are not as bad as mind.
This is a support group made up of so many different people in all walks of life. And I want everyone to be able to feel free to talk about what ever the choose because i know if I allow that to happen in my life then I will learn faster by the lessons all these wonderful girls are learning while growing up and going through menopause. None of us really know what to do because none of us live in the others head nor have they walked in there shoes before. This is life... we get depressed, we hurt, we get psycho some times, we complain about stuff that hurts us mentally and psychically. Most of us just need to be heard and not told what topics we can talk about and what topics are not pleasant to hash out here so don't do it. In my opinion and this is just my opinion which I realize goes against the majority opinions is that this board should become a safe haven in the storm for us. The only rule is that you can't belittle any one because they do not hold the same belief system as you do. Ask questions learn from each other but never go to bed mad... after logging on to this board.
Remember you always have the power to block posts that you do not care to read. And if you use the tool I know a lot of you girls reading this will come back and play with out having to deal with the psychos on this board. I do it all the time and I am not offended that people have me on their black list. Who knows if I was some of you I would to.... but if you do you will miss out on a lot. But it is your life live it but not at the expense of others...
I take no offense to what you said Cindy in your response I love ya so lets just let each other live our lives the best way we know how. And learn how to use block a post....
I really do love you Cindy and appreciate all that you said....
Aloha,
Your Hula Girl always or until you put me on your block list! ha ha ha... Be happy don't worry what ever God has in store for this board in the future will be fun if you allow your self to just flow with it....
Aloha,
Lei
Aloha,
Lei
You know I knew I was writing that post for some one so I just kept writing and writing and writing ha ha ha... I am glad I was there for you. You just tie a not at the end of your rope and hang on because life can be one heck of a scary roller coaster ride so buckle up LM..... And if ya need me I am here.....
You made my night knowing that my post was ment for you! Mahalo for telling me that it help a lot!
Aloha,
Hula Girl
Aloha,
Lei
Ya know I never gave it a thought that we have 365 days out of the year to enjoy sun shine and all you back there only have 4 months. That makes sense to me.... Mahalo for telling me that because that one sentense really made me feel okay about myself.
Mahalo for picking me up and dusting me off Jan!
Aloha,
Hula Girl with little tiny horns..... now that is funny...... did ya Read Reds response to my post below read it it will just crack ya up!
Aloha,
Lei
&n
The board does seem to have slowed a bit. The whys and wherefores...who knows. Could be the new format, could be that it's summer or maybe life is running away with some. One thing I know for sure, those that have been around here for a while return.
So, you decided to make a new Hulagirl. Please don't change her to much as I really liked the old one.
Hugs,
Rain
I hope you had a great day!
Aloha,
Hula Girl
Aloha,
Lei
You know what I love about the boards now it is the fact I can go back in time and answers posts from a few months or weeks ago that I missed and want to answer. I had not been around for a while and now I am in bad shape so I have all the time in the world to see what you girls have been up to.... So I am sorry for being so late in answering your posts Charlie.
Isn't this Lupus disease to weird? One day I am feeling better and on the road to recovery when pow right in the kisser I am down for the count again. Lupus is such a strange disease to have. It blows me away what it does to this body of mine!!! Right now it is playing tug-a-war with me...... I wish it would just chill out for another 7 months because remission is like dying and going to heaven... Oh to be healthy is the greatest feeling in the world!
You know I got to thinking about my MIL and I thought maybe I will try killing her with kindness. She is old (83)and so when I get that old I would appreciate people still treating me with respect and dignity when I loose my mind.... You know that saying what goes around comes around.... well I totally believe in it. William's Mom is like the Queen or the CEO of the family. I have no problem with her status at all in the family but I do think she is a harsh ruler/tyrant!
I am glad now that I ask the question "are you made at me or some thing" because so many of you put my mind at ease when I was told that some people only have 4 months of summer to enjoy so you have to stuff all the fun of the outdoors during the summer months. I never thought about that before. I am so use to summer time all year around here in California that I never thought that could be a reason why the board is so slow.
Okay I will be patient and wait until all my buddies have the time to come on out and play with me. The real problem is that you girls have spoiled me by always being there for me when I wanted to play with your heads... ha ha ha... I miss you Charlie!
Aloha,
Hula Girl
Aloha,
Lei
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