Duh! Do bears poop in the woods?

Avatar for hulagirl_leilani
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Duh! Do bears poop in the woods?
8
Thu, 07-10-2003 - 3:51pm
Aaaallllloooohhhhaaaa Ladies!



I received a lot of email(ahulagril@earthlink.net) since I announced my no cussing campaign that is going on in my head right now. Therefore, I thought I would answer the more popular questions asked via email here if you girls don’t mind. So go get your energizer drinks and find a hammock to kick back in because this is going to be a long one girls….. ha ha ha… And please Ladies turn your laugh mode on when reading this post so what I say does not offend you.

First, people want to know if this transformation is due to the fact that “I found Jesus”. My response to this is “Do bears poop in the woods!” Aaaahhhhh…. Duh! I never knew there was a missing person’s report filed on him!!!! ha ha ha! I know I am so funny!

Second, people have asked me not to fix something that was never broken! Now isn’t that cute. I never knew I was broken either Ha! Ha! Ha! I am not fixing any thing I am just improving on the foundation on which my morals, principals, and values stand on.

Third, people want to know what caused this metamorphosis or sudden drastic change in my writing technique in posts. Well girls I will tell ya that no one called me on my choice of words. Moreover, I did not receive death threats or any thing like that which has made this turn around in me.

Fourth, my new and improved writing skills did not come into being because of peer pressure or someone from the outside world like ivillage asked me to change my choice of words. If you have read one or two of my posts ya would know I do not react well to peer pressure in cyberspace via responses or emails. Ha! Ha! Ha!

Fifth, people are afraid that I will loose the essence or fundamental qualities in my writings that make them unique if cussing is not part of them. Cyber sisters do not worry, I am still going to say weird stuff and share with you all the thoughts that are bouncing around in my brain that want to be heard by you! Ha! Ha! Ha!

There are two profuse situations that pushed me to make this change at this time. A week or so ago I had a mind altering experience or a narrow escape with death. As a result, of this experience I decided to change my way of speaking. I will always be very blunt and boisterous in my writings but not to the extent whereby people get the wrong idea of who I am and am not because I cuss. I think there is some middle ground some where in my brain that I can live with instead of selling my soul to the dark side in life. I will never become quiet nor will I ever give up my power and be submissive to the pious people in the world. Nevertheless, I think I will take a stab at not cussing and being more thoughtful in my speech... but not necessarily polite! Ha! Ha! Ha!

The other notion, which started to pour fourth liberally, was the thought that time was running out to write my books. You see even if I live to be 130 years old I still would not have enough time to share all my thoughts with the world. I have started on writing two books. One is “When Positive Thinking Does Not Work”, which consists of a whole lot of collections of thoughts I have had while living here on planet earth. In addition, and at the same time I am writing another book titled “The Rule Book Ya Should of Gotten When You Were Born” according to Hula Girl. I have been working on both books for years but the fear of failure has kept me from completing them. Both books are based on silliness instead of the seriousness aspects of living on planet earth. In my opinion, I think we have way too many serious self-help books on the shelves now and one more from me would be information over load to some people. However, how many self-help books teach you by example on how to laugh when ya want to cry. Now girls just in case some one publishes these books before me your will know the book is mine by the authors name which will be Hula Girl.

My last reason for the change is that I am trying to turn my negative health problems in to a positive situation by chilling out, kicking back and writing to my hearts content. You see Ladies I have nothing planned for the rest of my life compliments of the free loading friggen Lupus dude who has set up house keeping in my body without my knowledge or consent! So I might as well use my down time to accomplish a goal or two while I am down here... ha ha ha..

I know in order for me to succeed as a writer that I am going to have to clean up my mouth a little tiny bit. Okay don't freak on me... it will not be a lot but just enough to smooth out the roughness in my writings. I am willing to do this in hopes that my silly self-help books will be a pleasure to read for all the pious people in the world! Ha! Ha! Ha!

So that is my story Ladies and I am sticking to it for today! Ha! Ha! Ha!

Now I think I will get back to making my life interesting so you girls will have some thing funny to read and enjoy in my books! Ha! Ha! Ha!

Aloha oye Ladies!

Hula Girl



Aloha,

Lei

 

Avatar for hulagirl_leilani
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Thu, 07-10-2003 - 6:42pm
Well today I received some interesting email.... ha ha ha... It was a list of books on grammer. Ha ha ha... Don't ya just love it. I decide to clean up my act and I guess me stopping the use of strong words was not good enough for this person so she sent this list of books on grammer. Wasn't that sweet. William is always telling me good better best never let it rest until your good is your better and your better is your best.... The only problem is that I think I write pretty darn well for being dyslexic and having ADD and going through menopause. ha ha ha. I use to use this program called via voice to write. It is a program whereby all I have to do is talk to my computer and it writes what I say on the screen and corrects my grammer as I go. But I can only use it when my voice is clear and there is no congestion in my chest because then the program does not recognize my voice. Right now I am in pretty bad shape so I can not use it. I think I will be going into the hospital soon the drugs I am taking are not working! But that's okay I haven't been there in a while so the hospital nurses probably miss me!

You know girls what we need ivillage to do.... I just thought of this.... When we write posts why don't they have spell check and grammer check like microsoft word built into this system? What do you ladies think? good idea or bad idea?

Oh and Gabby I answered your question of the week for the first time. I really never gave the other part of this board a second glance. Plus you will proud that I even checked out who is new around here! And posted responses to them. I feel so dumb that I had not read that part of the board every day.

Well who ever sent me the list of books on grammer Mahalo for the thought. The return address is not valid so I have no idea who sent me such a thoughtful email. So who ever you are Mahalo for helping me out! That was a nice gester!

Luv ya guys too...

Aloha,

Hula Girl

Aloha,

Lei

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Thu, 07-10-2003 - 6:56pm
You are so tremendously entertaining, Leilani. I guess I've never been bothered by any cussing in your posts but if you want to cut all that out, that's fine. However, if you ever stop saying Ha Ha Ha in them then that'll just be the end for me. Take care.

Kat

Avatar for hulagirl_leilani
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Thu, 07-10-2003 - 7:39pm
Ha! Ha! Ha! I am glad none of my posts have ever offended you Kat... because they never offended me neither! Ha ha ha! Now you get back to taking care of your new little swallow friend.... aaaahhh... I can just see ya feeding that bird.... Ha! Ha! Ha! To bad you don't have a web cam or sometime so I can see it?

Aloha,

Hula Girl

Aloha,

Lei

 

Avatar for hulagirl_leilani
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Fri, 07-11-2003 - 2:03am
If ya don't understand the above post then here is the translation to it.. enjoy girls and please girls laugh.... I wrote this because I thought it was funny believe me there is no hidden agenda here... just laugh and enjoy! thats why I wrote for you girls....

Aaaallllloooohhhhaaaa Ladies! = aloha ladies

_____________________________________________________________

I received a lot of email ( ahulagril@earthlink.net ) since I announced my no cussing campaign that is going on in my head right now. Therefore, I thought I would answer the more popular questions asked via email here if you girls don’t mind. So go get your energizer drinks and find a hammock to kick back in because this is going to be a long one girls….. ha ha ha… And please Ladies turn your laugh mode on when reading this post so what I say does not offend you.

Translation = Do not try to read some thing into this post which is not right in front of you face in black in white. I am not a complicated person to understand. I say what I mean and I am blunt and to the point! So please try to look at life through my eyes and lighten up...because life is fun... and enjoy the post... and laugh with me because I did when I received some of these emails.. They were a crack up. And just in case one of these were yours please do not take offence!

____________________________________________________________________

First, people want to know if this transformation is due to the fact that “I found Jesus”. My response to this is “Do bears poop in the woods!” Aaaahhhhh…. Duh! I never knew there was a missing person’s report filed on him!!!! ha ha ha! I know I am so funny!

Translation = I never knew there was a missing person’s report filed on Jesus! Some one forgot to tell me we lost him! .... period that is all this means it was ment for you to laugh not scoul at me...

ha ha ha! = First I think to ask me this question had no idea who they were talking to. I truely did not know you had to find some one who was never lost in order to bring about change in your life. So I thought the question was strange! = duh! And I wanted you to laugh with me... because I believe in reincarnation and do not believe I will go to hell or heaven. I think if I am good kind and loving to people I will become a beautiful white dove in my next life. If I am mean then I will become a cockroach in my next life. I hate bugs so to be a bug would be my worst nightmare or your hell. Understand? I am free spirit who believes all of us have the power to change without any outside help. Also I believe that if you pray to the statue of Liberty you would get the same results like you would by praying to a God what ever you conceive her to be. Sorry but this is what I believe. Who is to say who is right and who is wrong? Now read the question again but this time read it in the light that you are me.

_________________________________________________________________________

Second, people have asked me not to fix something that was never broken! Now isn’t that cute. I never knew I was broken either Ha! Ha! Ha! I am not fixing any thing I am just improving on the foundation on which my morals, principals, and values stand on.

Translation = I agree why would any one go out of there way to fix something that does not need repairing. I don't even have the energy to walk out the door right now so I sure as heck not going to use up my life force by doing some thing that I don't need to do right now. More importantly, even if I was not ill I still would not repair an unbroken object. Plus I do not think just because you cuss means your a bad person or broken and this person thinks the same way I do. So I totally agreed with this person which cracked me up.

__________________________________________________________________________

Third, people want to know what caused this metamorphosis or sudden drastic change in my writing technique in posts. Well girls I will tell ya that no one called me on my choice of words. Moreover, I did not receive death threats or any thing like that which has made this turn around in me.

Translation = I think people wanted to know if ivillage had any thing to do with this change. And the answer is no I want to change so I will not be a cockroach in my next life.

____________________________________________________________________

Fourth, my new and improved writing skills did not come into being because of peer pressure or someone from the outside world like ivillage asked me to change my choice of words. If you have read one or two of my posts ya would know I do not react well to peer pressure in cyberspace via responses or emails. Ha! Ha! Ha!

Translation.= Call me stupid or some thing but I had no idea what people were trying to get at. And I could not figure out who people were giving all the credit to with me changing. So that is why I wrote this paragraph. I have short term memory lost and don't even know what I had for dinner let alone know who wrote what on this board. I think I told you girls that before. So I never even gave any one on this board a second thought when I wrote this... and if someone is taking credit for my change please email so I can stop them. I did not want any one to take credit for this change in me I am selfish and I want all the credit so that is where this paragraph is coming from. Botton line is this.... I want people to laugh with me and enjoy my posts so I am just making it so you all can enjoy my writings and not just a few free thinkers.

____________________________________________________________________

Fifth, people are afraid that I will loose the essence or fundamental qualities in my writings that make them unique if cussing is not part of them. Cyber sisters do not worry, I am still going to say weird stuff and share with you all the thoughts that are bouncing around in my brain that want to be heard by you! Ha! Ha! Ha!

Translation = people are afraid that I will loose the essence or fundamental qualities in my writings that make them unique if cussing is not part of them. Cyber sisters do not worry, I am still going to say weird stuff and share with you all the thoughts that are bouncing around in my brain that want to be heard by you! Ha! Ha! Ha!

___________________________________________________________________

There are two profuse situations that pushed me to make this change at this time. A week or so ago I had a mind altering experience or a narrow escape with death. As a result, of this experience I decided to change my way of speaking. I will always be very blunt and boisterous in my writings but not to the extent whereby people get the wrong idea of who I am and am not because I cuss. I think there is some middle ground some where in my brain that I can live with instead of selling my soul to the dark side in life. I will never become quiet nor will I ever give up my power and be submissive to the pious people in the world. Nevertheless, I think I will take a stab at not cussing and being more thoughtful in my speech... but not necessarily polite! Ha! Ha! Ha!

Translation = this paragraph means exactly what I said. As a matter of fact the rest of this post has no translation. So if you do not understand it then just move on to the next post and forget about it. And girls if ya can laugh at this post then email me at ahulagirl@earthlink.net and let me know ya got it! Life is to short to make a soap opera out of every thing I write.... don't ya think?

_________________________________________________________________

The other notion, which started to pour fourth liberally, was the thought that time was running out to write my books. You see even if I live to be 130 years old I still would not have enough time to share all my thoughts with the world. I have started on writing two books. One is “When Positive Thinking Does Not Work”, which consists of a whole lot of collections of thoughts I have had while living here on planet earth. In addition, and at the same time I am writing another book titled “The Rule Book Ya Should of Gotten When You Were Born” according to Hula Girl. I have been working on both books for years but the fear of failure has kept me from completing them. Both books are based on silliness instead of the seriousness aspects of living on planet earth. In my opinion, I think we have way too many serious self-help books on the shelves now and one more from me would be information over load to some people. However, how many self-help books teach you by example on how to laugh when ya want to cry. Now girls just in case some one publishes these books before me your will know the book is mine by the authors name which will be Hula Girl.

My last reason for the change is that I am trying to turn my negative health problems in to a positive situation by chilling out, kicking back and writing to my hearts content. You see Ladies I have nothing planned for the rest of my life compliments of the free loading friggen Lupus dude who has set up house keeping in my body without my knowledge or consent! So I might as well use my down time to accomplish a goal or two while I am down here... ha ha ha..

I know in order for me to succeed as a writer that I am going to have to clean up my mouth a little tiny bit. Okay don't freak on me... it will not be a lot but just enough to smooth out the roughness in my writings. I am willing to do this in hopes that my silly self-help books will be a pleasure to read for all the pious people in the world! Ha! Ha! Ha!

So that is my story Ladies and I am sticking to it for today! Ha! Ha! Ha!

Now I think I will get back to making my life interesting so you girls will have some thing funny to read and enjoy in my books! Ha! Ha! Ha!

Aloha oye Ladies!

Hula Girl


Aloha,

Lei

 

Avatar for holland122
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Fri, 07-11-2003 - 8:19am
I think you had better write a book...you have words flowing from you like lava from a volcano...you certainly have a lot to share with people who need to overcome/cope with difficulties

as for langauge...I applaud non-cusssing....since I was young it has been a matter of principle with me not to use bad language..not saying it doesn't have its place..but overuse removes the impact of it and becomes a habit. Plus, you never know whom you might offend, unintentionally, by using it. I have always preferred to use big vocabualry words to stun my opponents!! LOL...

I had friends in college who made it their mission to get me to use the "f-word"..they were unsuccessful.

As a langauge person, this is something I am aware of and sensitive to..it often comes up in class...students would like me to teach them the bad words in Spanish..I tell them they can learn the way I did..go ask your father LOL(I asked my Dad to tell me before I went to Spain..for academic purposes.

I also like the idea of a spell check on this site...when we type fast and informally...errors naturally occur.

They words can, however, add color and flavor when used carefully!..I guess its like cooking..be careful not to "over spice" LOL...

BTW..Willliams words..about "good ,better, best..." I heard from one of the nuns in elem. school

hope you have a good day..

Dutch

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-28-2003
Fri, 07-11-2003 - 2:47pm
I totally agree w/ you on the spell check Leilani, my spelling is horrific.

Prayers to you to stay out of the hospital Dear One,

Hugs and Peace to you,

Patti

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-12-2003
Fri, 07-11-2003 - 3:53pm
Yes, yes, yes to spell check! I spend more time correcting my spelling than actually typing. LOL. I love reading books that offer the light side of life. Not the serious one that are probably written by some boring pathetic doctor. I want to read one written by someone who has experiences to back them up. You let us know when you get these books written and published. I will definately buy one.

LM
Avatar for momsquietzoo
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Fri, 07-11-2003 - 4:27pm
Leilani,

I love your posts! I'm also glad that you're trying to improve things in your life.

I love the silly how-to books--the other ones are way too serious and I need all the silliness I can get in my life!

Lots of hugs,

Kathie

anonymous