SAME SEX MARRIAGE....HOW DO YOU FEEL?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2003
SAME SEX MARRIAGE....HOW DO YOU FEEL?
33
Fri, 08-08-2003 - 12:20am
Well the place that I work does mostly weddings, worked hundreds of them. Today we got into the "big" discussion about same sex marriages. Now that it is legal in Canada they feel it's just a matter of time before we have some at our place of business. Being that I work in a Military ( MOSTLY MALE) environment every one is up in arms about this.

Being one of the senior people there I put in my two cents worth which was not received very well.

My philosophy is why can't a man love another man, or visa versa. If it brings you happiness and is not hurting anyone does it really matter if you love someone who is the same sex???. I just don't understand why people are so against it, I mean their not causing anyone else any harm, and just want to love...who they love.

So I could go on, but you see where I stand, I was just wondering how you other ladies felt about this, I would be interested in hearing any one else's opinion.



Barb

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2003
Sat, 08-09-2003 - 2:54am
Agree 100% and thanks for your great respone.......


Barb

Avatar for bklynpeach42
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2003
Sat, 08-09-2003 - 4:32am
This was a topic of conversation with my best friend today. We learned we are on opposing sides of this issue. She thought that since I was out of step with other social "norms", I married but chose not to have kids, my SO is 10years younger, and I am in an interracial relationship. More socially "conventional" she is almost 40 years married to a man her age, a parent and grandparent.

I for one, am opposed. I find that I am very much in the minority for having that opinion, but I am opposed.

I see homosexuality as a birth defect. I know I am very much in the minority for this viewpoint as well. Being homosexual does not make a person inherently good or bad, but thats not the way the human race was designed. I view it like conjoined twins or spina bifida. It happens, but the truth is that's not the way people were designed.

If I were particularly religious I would point to that passage about it being an abomination before God. From a biologic viewpoint, I wold say that the ultimate goal of any species is to procreate. Some protozoas do that asexually and other species accomplish that sexually. Infertility and birth control notwithstanding, male + female have the broad ability to perpetuate the species, male + male or female + female can not. True, adoption, artifical insemination and other such measures may afford a gay couple the opportunity to have children, but in the end, that is male + female, the way people are designed.

Homosexual marriage does societal harm in the way that prostitution and other such "victimless crimes" does. Marriage, like it or lump it is a business and societal arrangement as well as a love relationship. And don't forget the love thing is fairly new fangled. Marriages were treaties between nations, kingdoms and families. Granted many of the laws for the passing down of land, money, titles, lineages and other inheritances have changed since days of old, but vestiges of these things remain in divorce court, probate court and parternity tests.

I do not feel my taxes, employment insurance rate increases and various other societal expenditures should condone of finance such unions.

I am disappointed that others here, even with the semi-anonymity the internet affords, are afraid to voice their opinion or want to sweep the question under the carpet and not address it. We are the generation that lived through civil and women's rights, working and stay at home moms,the dramatic increases in divorce, living together, swinging, and other social "hot potatoes". I am curious to know how people are explaining it to their children, in their houses of worship, how it may affect their famiy structure and belief systems. No, I don't expect the issue to be resolved here, but I so miss real conversations, with real opinions that are not the politically correct superfical make nice banter that passes for conversation these days. I can get that at a cocktail party.

DeAnn

BklynPeach42@yahoo.com

Avatar for mindy46
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Sat, 08-09-2003 - 8:23am
wow deann you have said a mouthful and with eloquence too!!but i do believe that most gals here really do not want to get into this controversy as we have gotten into many controversies before on this board and it has separated and divided this wonderful group of ladies that come here to visit,enjoy and just plain have fun.as for semi anonimity most of us have met in person,so we also have come to known each other well. everyone is surely allowed their own opinion though,and i do respect yours.there are many that condone this way of life,and many that do not.what makes this country great is that we all have that choice to say how we feel and the rite as to how we choose to live. as for cocktail parties,never went to one, so i dont know the standard conversations,i do get into heated debates with the neighbors though!!nothing like a cup of coffee in the morning and a good talk about gays or politics over the backyard fence.now if you excuse me i have to water my gay feather.its really flourishing!!welcome to the board!!((hugs))mindy
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Sat, 08-09-2003 - 12:26pm
DeAnn, first of all I want to thank you for stopping by our board. Secondly, I for one appreciate the time you took to express your viewpoint on this topic. I also want you to know I’m one of the people you obviously felt dodged the bullet on this matter. I expressed the opinion that perhaps this was a discussion best left in the same mine-field as politics and religion. This wasn’t a dodge on my part, just a believe that there is a place for “hot potato” issues. This isn’t one of them, in part for reasons that Mindy stated in her response to you.

I’m sorry you are disappointed in the reactions (or lack of in some cases) that you see on this board. It’s great you have a best friend you can debate this point in question with. Ivillage also has boards that would welcome strong feelings, such as: “Debate The Differences,” “Lesbian Issues” on the Sex & Sexuality boards, “Relationships”, and who knows….possibly the Entertainment boards!

What we teach or have taught our children on the issues you mentioned are, I’m sure, quite different for most of us than what we are going to press on our members here. We can and do engage in interesting dialog on this board without stepping on a lot of hard core belief systems to do it. So, if this isn’t the place for you…there are always cocktail parties!

Have a good day!

Kay

P.S. Oh, I want to mention that the internet semi-anonymity you mentioned hasn’t stopped a great deal of us from meeting face to face. However, I do stop short of giving out my e-mail addy here. Otherwise, I’m pretty widely known by members of the Well-Being board.

Avatar for mindy46
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Sat, 08-09-2003 - 1:27pm
here here!!((hugs))mindy
Avatar for ruthie_46
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Sat, 08-09-2003 - 3:32pm
A can of worms was opened and Kay or I did not bring the opener this time? First of all Mindy you still kill me! LOL Kay your first post to this was so diplomatic I just about fell off of my chair lady.

Will not say where I stand on this issue because I have seen this board hurt before by subjects that have no place here. I do however believe that being gay is not a choice but just the way it is. My best friend has twin daughters and one is gay and the other is not. They are identical in every other way so go figure. Both are wonderful young women and a pleasure to know. I will say this...as many know I have a son that I have not seen in over three years. He is 35 y/o and is an alcohol/drug addict and has been since his early teens. There has been nothing but destruction and heartache for every life he has touched. If he were a well-adjusted, gay, happy man, which do you think I would rather he be?

Contrary to popular belief I do not believe we were put here only to procreate. All you have to do is watch the news every night and hear about child abuse, child neglect, and children dying at the hands of their parents. Also if that is the purpose why do so many couples choose not to have children? My sil is childless by choice and I applaud her because she knew that motherhood was not for her.

Have never been to a cocktail party and have no idea what that superficial life is like but I do know the women here are the absolute best. Am sure some are exposed to that way of life but they are honest and down to earth. No matter what happens here when things get tough everybody rallies round. Have met many here and am soon going to meet some more. We are not just names on a board.

Ok on to more important things. Just read about RJ and want to post to her. Now that is what is important to this group.

BTW I respect both sides of the fence on this issue...ok?

Hugs, Ruthie

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-12-2003
Sat, 08-09-2003 - 4:02pm
Ok, I have been hesitant about responding to this. This issue is very close to me and my family. I have over the last 10 years had just about every viewpont any one could have. I have gone through anger, denial, listening and accepting. It is one thing to say you agree/diagree for whatever reason, but wait until it touches you very close - even your own child. I do very much respect everyone's opinion. For the record I agree with almost everything that was posted here. Sometimes it is not a birth 'defect' that places a person in this minority. Sometimes it is severe abuse and through this kind of relationship the person finally finds love and acceptance. The most important thing is that they are happy. I have learned this the long hard way. Life is too short to have something like this tear family members apart. Like I said I understand how all of you feel. I have felt the same way at one point or another. This is an issue that we should all agree to disagree on.

Now I agree - lets move on to something a little lighter. I want all of us to be happy.

That's ok, right?

LM
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Sat, 08-09-2003 - 4:13pm
AMEN LM...couldn't agree more...let's move on to a lighter subject!! HUgs, Gabby

       


 


                              &n

Avatar for sassysooze
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Sat, 08-09-2003 - 4:20pm
AMEN from me too LM! If all these ladies on this board are as intelligent and caring as I KNOW they are.....then we will all agree to disagree. This is not an issue that is likely to be decided on this board, but everyone has the right to state their opinion and everyone's opinion should be respected. Now we've covered it pretty thoroughly and I too am ready to see us move on.

Many hugs,

Sooze

Susan siggie
Avatar for cl_cencia911
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Sat, 08-09-2003 - 4:46pm
YEAH! In fact, I asked for "lighter" very early in this

discussion, but it took off on its own. love, Cindy
~*~*~All..things..work..together..for..good.....~*~*~



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