Mid-Life Crisis going on here?????????

Avatar for tinybuns
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-06-2003
Mid-Life Crisis going on here?????????
7
Sat, 08-09-2003 - 7:23pm
I am 48, 49 in October. Haven't thought much about age really, until recently.

Now it seems that is all I can think about. I ammmmmmmmmm getting old. Althou most people I meet think I am in my mid to late 30's. But I CAN SEE the changes and it is really upsetting me. Where did all the time go??????

It was spent getting our business off the ground, doing very well now, and raising our daughter. I think I am thinking more about myself now, that I don't have the business to worry about or my daughter (althou I will always worry about her) now that she has moved out on her own and is doing well. I can't believe actually HOW well she is doing. Doesn't need her mommy any more.............

I find myself buying almost anything that promises to get rid of wrinkles, etc.......

But according to most dermotologists, nothing will get rid of them, except major procedures (which I cannot afford).

My husband thinks I am going throu my mid-life crisis. The rest of my life, including my marriage, is pretty darn good. I am healthy, keep in shape by working out 2-3 times a week at the gym.

What do you guys think? And how do you handle the age and wrinkle thing??????????

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Sat, 08-09-2003 - 7:56pm
Welcome to the board Tiny! I haven't been around for awhile so I hesitate to call you a "newbie" because for all I know you could have been around here for weeks! Since you're new to me, I'm glad to meet you. I'm Kay, live in South Dakota and the last I knew, at 60 I'm the oldest member on the board so I do know a little about the aging process and a few mental crisis about the whole thing. I don't really thing of myself as old, just well marinated. I have matured some physically of course, but mentally I'm terribly immature for my age! A blessing is the way I look at it.

Looking in the mirror and seeing lines, wrinkles, large freckles (ok...liver spots) and shiny grey strands in the hair can be traumatic I'm sure if one doesn't put the right spin on what you see. I like to think all my wrinkles are the result of lots of laughter over the years and streaks in the hair you can either accept as natures highlights or you can cover them up with a nice bottle of gooey stuff. The spots, well...a little foundation goes a long way. Someone once mentioned that if you're feeling old, stop and think about the most popular beautiful girl (or guy) you went to school with that was your age. Then think how they're the same age you are now! Sort of puts the aging process in a different light to realize everyone you know is getting older as well. Well, just to go a step further, everyone you don't know is aging as well!

The whole thing is about attitude, Tiny. You can try to fight something that you know is going to win in the long run (aging) or you can accept that it's part of the scheme of things and do it gracefully. Of course cosmetically you can help yourself along, but all the makeup and hair colors in the world won't help if you don't feel good about yourself. So the best you can do is go for attitude, attitude and attitude.

Hope you settle in to your age Tiny, 'cause it's a very nice age to be. I also loved my 50's and the 60's are looking pretty darn good as well. Life is good. Hugs! Kay

Avatar for ruthie_46
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Sat, 08-09-2003 - 8:46pm
Accentuate the positives of your life Tiny. You mentioned that you have your health, a good husband, a daughter doing well, and you are doing somethig so important and that is exercising.

I will be 57 in a couple of months and my age has hit me a time or two but by the end of the day I usually forget it. Have no complaints about wrinkles because I am rarely in the sun but gravity is my enemy. LOL Seems everything is going down including my extra chin and places on my face. Have a little middle-age spread which I am working on right now.

Figure if I worry too much about aging that will cause undue stress and that I can live without. Whatever aging we are showing (and it will happen no matter what) it is sure better than the alternative. I read in the paper everyday people my age and much younger dying and I am so lucky to be here...20 pounds overweight, gravity pulling, etc.

When I turned all gray somebody talked me into coloring my hair and for me it was one big mistake but hard to reverse now that I have started. I actually liked the color and it was me. I also like to think of how Katherine Hepburn aged with more grace than any woman I can think of. She was full of wrinkles, had to wear big tops after a time, and the poor dear had Parkinson's. But she was her own woman and was comfortable in her own skin and at peace with it. We should all be that lucky.

Take heart...cover up the gray, keep exercising, and sit back and relax. The best is yet to come.

Ruthie

Avatar for mindy46
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Sat, 08-09-2003 - 8:56pm
i agree with all of the above!!LOL well said kay!!the reality of life if one lives long enough is that you get old,dont add more wrinkles by worrying about what cannot be stopped.enjoy each day,find simple things that will make you happy and thankful to be alive.a sunrise,a winters snow,autumn leaves and pumpkins,a full moon and a nite sky filled with stars where you can make all your wishes!!!just dont wish to be wrinkle free,LOL,i tried it and it dont work!!LOL ((hugs))mindy
Avatar for tinybuns
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-06-2003
Sat, 08-09-2003 - 9:03pm
To both of your replies............

The question is "HOW do you age gracefully?"....What exactly does that mean. I certainly DO NOT FEEL AS OLD AS I AM.

In fact, I embarass my daughter when ever we are together, cause I like to goof around and have fun, be it shopping together, etc...... I like having fun. I came from that age that when I was a teenager we worshipped the sun, baked ourselves in it. So considering, in all actuality I am aging pretty well.

I just don't want my husband to see me getting older with wrinkles and find one day that he is married to an old lady. Althou he is getting older right along side of me and he is older than me by 2 yrs.

I guess you could say I am somewhat "scared" to think that I am almost 50 and may not have alot more time left. And there is soooooooo much that I still want to do and enjoy in life.

That is one thing my husband and I have decided to do, now that the buiness is allowing us to.............take our work easier, do more things, like taking trips and cruises, cause we have more money,LOL............

In amongst all this, and all the experience, why is it that I can never get my checkbook to balance??????

Julie

P.S. Hope to hear from more of yous.............these 2 sure helped.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-05-2003
Sat, 08-09-2003 - 9:11pm
The best ways I know to avoid wrinkles are:

Drink lots of water

Stay out of the sun

Use sunblock every day

Eat sufficient protein

Eat unrefined or minimally refined carbs (fruits, vegies, whole grains)

Stay regular

Get enough sleep

Be happy

Dr. Christiane Northrup has some great anti-aging advice in her latest book. The face cream she recommends worked miracles for my 70+ year old aunt's wrinkles.

If you want to be like certain movie stars, avoid extreme facial expressions, but I think that's extreme. Those women may be beautiful, but their faces look plastic to me. I prefer a bit of character in a face. It shows we've lived, loved, lost, and survived. I wear my wrinkles proudly, but I do what I can to keep them to a minimum.

Belles*

Avatar for mindy46
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Sat, 08-09-2003 - 9:18pm
fun did someone say fun.i am 56 years old and my dear departed mother use to tell me mindy you never grew up your just growing old!LOL so with that in mind i say continue to goof around and have fun,i do.and although i am aging i can still laugh so life cant be all that bad!!((hugs))mindy
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-12-2003
Sat, 08-09-2003 - 10:56pm
I hated turning 50! I did not celebrate it or acknowledge it in any way. I think because I remember what I thought about 50 year olds when I was younger and what I would be doing at that age. Believe it or not it was through this board that I realized that I may not have even come close to where I thought I would be at 50 but I did surpass in the most important areas. I am madly in love with my second husband of 10 years and am very proud of my children. I am happy where I am now. I still would not turn 50 again if I had a choice but 51 wasn't so bad! You sound like you take care of yourself and that is all you can do. Those wrinkles are badges of experience! Very little you can do to hide them anyway!

Count your blessings and friends - not the candles or wrinkles.

LM