Need Advice from animal lovers

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-18-2003
Need Advice from animal lovers
6
Mon, 08-11-2003 - 12:42pm
Hello ladies, My friend Nancy has been in the hospital for almost a month now b/c of complications from a routine surgery on her leg.

We are very good friends, she has come to my aide when needed and vice versa. Just before she went in to have this procedure done, we took her cat to the vet w/kidney problems. When she came home the first time, before she had to go back in b/c of the infection, I would go downstairs, feed her kitty, clean the box, play with her as she had a hard time with getting downstairs.

When she had to go back in and it was apparent that she would be there for awhile, I offered to go to her house and clean the box, feed this dear little kitty who is half blind. I even talked to her SO and offered b/c I knew he had alot to do. He told me everything was fine.

Nancy is now out of the hospital, and staying with her dd for awhile before she comes back home. When she was released she went by her house and checked on the kitty. I hate to say that the litter box had not been cleaned and she won't use it now. She told me it was a mess, but her SO is feeding her kitty. I am very, very upset w/my friend for not taking me up on my offer to help w/her kitty, even offered to take her back to her vet for a follow-up. She kept saying her SO was taking care of the cat. NOT.

I feel very strongly about taking care of animals, and I'd hate this to ruin a great friendship, but It's getting to the point where I have to say something about her letting it get this bad. Especially since I offered 3 weeks ago to help to take care of her.

We talked this morning, and when she told me about what she found when she checked on the cat, I had to hang up b/c I was about to say something. I'm supposed to go to her dd's and stay w/her during the day a few days this week.

Any suggestions, advice? Thanks so much. T

Avatar for mindy46
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Mon, 08-11-2003 - 1:00pm
katladi i dont think that this would be cause to end a friendship.it sounds like she had great trust in her so in taking care of the kat,i to believe if you want to make mention of the situtation,you could do so but with tact.it doesnt pay to explode or argue,but conversing gets things said and done.good luck to you,she is lucky to have you as a friend!!((hugs))mindy
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Mon, 08-11-2003 - 1:06pm
HI katladi

Be careful what you say to her but tell her you are worried about her kat and would be willing to help take care of it and make sure the litterbox is clean. Don't push and maybe she will be willing to let you help out

Good luck

Hugs

Mary

                          &n
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Mon, 08-11-2003 - 2:05pm
Welcome to the board! I understand how you feel, since I have 2 kitties myself that are very loved. However, this is her SO's fault, not hers. her so must have told her he would take care of the kitty and so she trusted him to do this. Please don't be upset with her, just do what you can to help now. Hugs, Gabby

       


 


                              &n

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-1998
Mon, 08-11-2003 - 2:28pm
Hi, Terry...I would just repeat your original offer to her. If she takes you up on it, great. If not, that's all you can do. But I bet she does take you up on it. Dont' mention the SO's mess-up. She may become defensive.

Hugs,

Red

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Avatar for cl_campmum_of3
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Mon, 08-11-2003 - 4:23pm
Oh boy T I am not sure what to say here. This is awful how her SO has treated the cat, you would have thought if he never wanted to do the box he would have taken you up on that offer. I hope that some could offer some good advice here for you. I just think that I would be so wanting to go and rescue the cat until she was able to cocme home and look after it herself.

Perhaps telling her that seeing as the cat is not being tended to as much as it should be that you would really like to do this for them. Some people are just not animal lovers and perhaps he is not intentionally meaning not take good care or maybe he thinks he is doing a good job, but you wold like to help as much as possible.

Good luck!

Lor

     

 

          

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Tue, 08-12-2003 - 2:28pm
I doubt that you need to say anything. The mess said it all to her or will, right? She's learning in a hard enough time what her SO's idea of taking care of a cat consists of. Next time I'm sure she'll ask you to help with the cat or take you up on an offer. Hugs, BB