I have a Problem.............
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| Thu, 08-21-2003 - 12:13pm |
Here I am a 48 yr old woman, who along with her husband have run our own business for the past 25 yrs. We are, on average, totally 50-50 in the operations. Why is it that I am not allowed to make a mistake????? Not only do I do the physical part of the work, but also I handled all the bookwork, including both home and business.
He gets mad at me, and yells at me. Don't get me wrong, otherwise he is the greatest guy I know. And this is the only place where we have a problem. Atleast in my opinion.
We run an upholstery shop, recovering furniture, etc. I do all the sewing so when I make a mistake it usually causes him some extra work. I can see where he would not like that.
But there have also been plenty of cases where HE has made the mistake and it costs us both more work, and sometimes money, but I don't yell at him. Why is he allowed to make mistakes and I'm not??
It is getting where I don't like doing what we are anymore, just because of that fact. I have told him that he makes me feel bad and it demeans me. And it also puts an awful lot of pressure on me, thus making it even worse. I am so afraid of goofing up that I am actually doing it more often.
I don't know if I am doing a good job of presenting the situation, so if you have any questions please ask.
We have built this business from ground zero into a very succesful one. We are at the point where we can relax some where the business is concerned, you know, we always have enough business that we no longer have to worry about money and are enjoying the fruits of our labor finally so to speak. What's going on here????????????????

Good luck
Hugs
Mary
Good luck, you talented lady you! I can't sew a straight line with a fancy sewing machine, finally sold the darn thing. All it did for 20 years was collect dust! LOL!
Hugs, Pam
You've already got a couple of good responses here. I'm wondering about another possibility. Maybe if you are set financially, its time for you to train another seamstress and you stop carrying so much of the load?? Its just a thought. It sounds as though the two of you have worked very hard to build this business and now maybe the pressure of keeping it successful is getting to your husband and he is taking it out on you?? I don't believe my dh and I could work together.....never tried it, but I don't think I want to!
Good luck and hugs!
Sooze
You could also calmly point out to him that he also makes mistakes and how would HE like it if you started yelling and humilitating him? There have been times when my husband and I have had some heated discussions about business, but it's never come to yelling or demeaning each other.
I hope this helps!
love,
eldri
love,
Acutally, what I did, is right after he yelled at me, I looked at him, and told him "So I made a mistake, are you perfect?" then came and posted.
After work we talked it throu....and a few of you have hit it right on the button. He is getting fustrated with the demands of the business. I never thought of that as a reason behind it until a few of you pointed it out.
Just because the buiness is doing so good, we both decided to try to take it alittle easier and make the buiness less demanding on us. Which we are in the process of doing.
SOOOOOOOOO many women have asked me how I can stand to work with my husband all day long and then be together for rest. It has always just worked out well for us. Our roles in the buiness just naturally seem to fall into place and have to say it....we enjoy working with each other most of the time. There are always expections. A particularly hard day when nothing goes right, etc.
Then after work, we have our time away from each other. His friends always remark on how he is able to get away to go play golf or fast-pitch softball soooooooo often without me complaining, well.............I'm with him all day long, glad to get rid of him for awhile, LOL...........and I go do what I like to do with my friends. No really we just enjoy each other. I guess that is rare from the other women I talk to.
He's a great guy and I couldn't ask for more.
Thanks again..........I just was mad and needed to vent at the time. It just got to me today, usually when something like this happens, we end up fighting abit, and also in a joking sort of way also, but also being serious. If you know what I mean. Whatever, it works for us. We have a good relationship and work things out when we have a problem........ He is my best friend.
Julie ((Hugs))
&n
I don't work with my dh but I notice that when the guys here are laid off their work and are home for a few months at a time that many of the other wives have had it by end of week one, but for me I really don't mind having him home.
Happy that you worked it out!
Hugs, Lor
&n
Glad everything worked out!
love,
eldri
love,
Actually, thanks is not enough. You all have made me feel soooo much better just by replying to me little problem. Yes, we are very blessed to have a good marriage.
But you hear of people who have been married 35 -40 yrs and then get divorced, so really a marriage is never out of the woods. That is why we both make sure that we take care of each other, from little acts of kindness to the big problems. But every once in awhile the thought comes across my mind that one day he will wake up and just decide he has had enough of me..................
Don't like those thoughts!!!!!!!!! We'll be married 30 yrs this September, hard to believe, the time has gone by so fast. That is one reason we have decided to make life alittle easier for ourselves and enjoy the time we do have, we are not getting any younger.
Thanks again............Julie