This is just too good not to share..

Avatar for cl_campmum_of3
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
This is just too good not to share..
6
Mon, 01-14-2008 - 12:33pm

3 Year Old and Mommy in the Bathroom 


My little guy, Cade, is quite a talker. He loves to communicate and
does it quite well. He talks to people constantly, whether we're in the
library, the grocery store or at a drive-thru window. People often comment on
how clearly he speaks for a just-turned- 3-year-old. And you never have to ask
him to turn up the volume. It's always fully cranked. There've been
several embarrassing times that I've wished the meaning of his words would
have been masked by a not-so-audible voice, but never have I wished this more
than last week at Costco. 


Halfway, through our shopping trip, nature called, so I took Cade
with me into the restroom. If you'd been one of the ladies in the restroom
that evening, this is what you would have heard coming from the second
to the last stall: 'Mommy, are you gonna go potty? Oh! Why are you putting toiwet
paper on the potty, Mommy? Oh! You gonna sit down on da toiwet paper now? Mommy,
what are you doing? Mommy, are you gonna go stinkies on the potty? 

At this point I started mentally counting how many women had been
in the bathroom when I walked in. Several stalls were full ... 4? 5? Maybe
we could  wait until they all left before I had to make my debut out of this
stall an reveal my identity. 


Cade continued, 'Mommy, you ARE going stinkies aren't you? Oh, dats
a good girl, Mommy! Are you gonna get some candy for going stinkies on the
potty?  Let me see doze stinkies, Mommy! Oh ... Mommy! I'm trying to see in
dere. Oh! I see dem. Dat is a very good girl, Mommy. You are gonna get
some candy!' 

I heard a few faint chuckles coming from the stalls on either side
of me. Where is a screaming new born when you need her? 


Good grief. This was really getting embarrassing. I was definitely
waiting a long tim e before exiting. Trying to divert him, I said, 'Why don't
you look in Mommy's purse and see if you can find some candy. We'll both
have some!' 

'No, I'm trying to see doze more stinkies. Oh! Mommy!' He started
to gag at this point. 'Uh oh, Mommy. I fink I'm gonna frow up. Mommy, doze
stinkies are making me frow up!! Dat is so gross!!' 

As the gags became louder, so did the chuckles outside my stall. I
quickly flushed the toilet in hopes of changing the subject. I began to
reason with myself: OK. There are four other toilets If I count four flushes, I
can be reasonably assured that those who overheard this embarrassing
monologue will  be long gone. 

'Mommy! Would you get off the potty, now? I want you to be done
going stinkies! Get up! Get up!' He grunted as he tried to pull me off.

Now I could hear full-blown laughter. I bent down to count the feet
outside my door. 

'Oh, are you wooking under dere, Mommy? You wooking under da door?
What were you wooking at, Mommy? You wooking at the wady's feet?' 

More laughter. I stood inside the locked door and tried to assess
the situation. 'Mommy, it's time to wash our hands, now. We have to go
out now, 

Mommy.' He started pounding on the door. 'Mommy, don't you want to
wash your hands? I want to go out!!' 

I saw that my 'wait 'em out' plan was unraveling. I sheepishly
opened the door, and found standing outside my stall, twenty to
thirty ladies crowded  around the stall, all smiling and starting to applaud. My first
thought  was complete embarrassment, then I thought, 'Where's the fine print on
the  'motherhood contract' where I signed away every bit of my dignity
and privacy?' 

But as my little boy gave me a big, cheeky grin while he rubbed
bubbly soap between his chubby little hands, I thought, I'd sign it all away
again,  just to be known as Mommy to this little fellow. 

(Shannon Popkin is a freelance writer and mother of three. She
lives with her family in Grand Rapids, Michigan, where she no longer uses
public restrooms)

     

 

          

Avatar for jan_magee
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Mon, 01-14-2008 - 2:09pm
Ah, yes, the word "privacy"

Jan


 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Mon, 01-14-2008 - 2:11pm

LOL Lor that is just to cute and soooo true!!!


Thanks!!


Love ya


                          &n
Avatar for cl_campmum_of3
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Mon, 01-14-2008 - 3:42pm

No they sure don't!

     

 

          

Avatar for cl_campmum_of3
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Mon, 01-14-2008 - 3:43pm

Your welcome glad you enjoyed it too!


     

 

          

Avatar for sassysooze
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Mon, 01-14-2008 - 6:27pm

Lor,


How funny!

Susan siggie
Avatar for cl_campmum_of3
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Tue, 01-15-2008 - 1:42am

Oh boy and the fun just begins huh!


Glad you enjoyed it!