They shoot horses don't they... errrr...

Avatar for hulagirl_leilani
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
They shoot horses don't they... errrr...
6
Sun, 01-20-2008 - 6:27pm

They shoot horses don’t they?


 


Warning this is a disturbing post so stop reading it now if you are enjoying your life.


 


This board is all about our well being. So I like to write about the ups and downs that my well being takes while living here on planet earth with all of you. It is amazing how a strangers actions can affect my outlook on life. 


 


Today I read in the newspaper about how this woman’s suicide effected others ....


 


And my reaction to her suicide was well she wouldn’t have to have done that if suicide was a legal. I mean they shoot horses when there is no hope that they can no longer live a productive life don’t they? So why aren’t human beings that sympathetic, compassionate, kindhearted, empathetic, considerate, thoughtful and caring towards others who find themselves in the same position that some horses get themselves  in?


 


Life is life and I believe that most of the negative things that happens to me come without my  knowledge or consent. For example, when I got that community acquired MRSA infection a few years ago... that flesh eating & community acquired iMRSA infection  attacked my body without me provoking it to attack my body. It almost killed me within 72 hours after the initial attack on my body. More importantly, a large part of my body had to be amputated in order for me to win the germ warfare that I never consented to fight. I was minding my own business and never provoked the fleshing eating/ca-mrsa germ to come after me so to me I remember thinking life was not fair and I wanted to die while I was in the hospital for almost 3 weeks while fighting this horrible painful infection which spread through out my body.


 


If I had known this horrible fleshing eating community acquired MRSA germ was out there in the world would I have still lived my life the same? Yes I would of... because I would of thought it would never get me.  Now add on the fact that I have been deathly ill for the pass x amount of years and you got one messed up cyber sis. My wanting to commit suicide in my eyes at that point of my life when I saw nothing but more pain being afflicted on my body with no way out to me was a legitimate justified valid reasonable excuse to end my life. But then a guardian angel name Myra came and saved me from myself while visiting with me in the hospital. But I wonder if she never came and sweet William did not have the money to save my life would I have had the will to live?  And if I didn’t have the will to live how could I have escaped my life so the act of living  would have been a benefit instead of a detriment to the well being of others in my life? The answer there is no way at this time legally to end a human life.


 


They kill horses don’t they when their owners see them no longer useful or are a positive to their well being so why can’t I do the same to me when my bad health is to much to bare? Hummm....  More importantly, would the significant others in my life forgive me if I had ended my life when the circumstances that I was faced with had no positive outcome? For me I think they would have...


 


But would they forgive me if I ended my life when I did things to my body knowing the outcome might not be positive and I do it any way... Do I  still deserve respect and compassion  from others when my body no longer functions the way God meant it work when I do things to it knowing it could hurt me? For instance  I know if I eat to much of the good things  I love in life that the outcome of my behavior will make me fat and ugly in the eyes of others out there beyond my front door. But does that keep me from over eating when I am depressed? No! Then take for instance me drinking and knowing if I over do it my body will after a while  go on strike. Knowing alcohol will negatively affect my body still does not keep me from drinking when my life is like eating a sewage sandwich on any given day.


 


I do not smoke and never have but this woman that I read about in the paper today committed suicide  because she did not heed FDA warnings that smoking will kill ya and she smoked any way and found herself with no support when she heard she had only a year to live so she killed herself.  So I ask myself do people like her that smoke and other people dying from over eating and others dying from the negative effects of drinking do they deserve my compassion when they kill themselves?   My answer yes!


 


When I read about people committing suicide because ???? whatever health reason ... I feel like I let them down because here I am sitting around watching the grass grow and doing nothing to pass a law which will help sick dying people like this woman in the paper die a good death. Why do horses have dying  privileges  and we don’t when there is no hope?


 


errrr....

 

Aloha,

Lei

 

Avatar for hulagirl_leilani
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Mon, 01-21-2008 - 2:01pm


















re:

Aloha,

Lei

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Mon, 01-21-2008 - 6:41pm

HI Leilani


I read you post this morning and hadn't decided yet how to answer it. However I am glad you didn't decide to delete it because of the birthday greetings on the board.


Life goes on all around us and so does death and suicide. My Ds tried to end his life a little over two years ago. So very sad when someone feels there is no way to live with the pain they are feeling be it physical or mental and decides to end their life. I always wish there was more I could do to help people who feel this way. It is something I have never considered at all. Life is way to precious and the time we spend on this earth to very short to have so much sadness in your life. My son taught me alot about this in the last two years and I hope I have given him many reasons to keep on living. You never know.


                          &n
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Wed, 01-23-2008 - 9:14pm
Your post hit very close to my heart. A dear friend underwent so much undo suffering because the plug was not pulled
Hugs, Bernie
Avatar for hulagirl_leilani
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Sun, 01-27-2008 - 12:53am

Mary I thought about you when I wrote this post but this is all about when you are physically sick and laying in a bed and down to skin and bones and there is no hope that you are going to pull out of it. I want my right to die if I am physically sick and there is no hope of living my life the way I choose which means no pain and playing in my toy box...


I am so glad that your situation with your son

Aloha,

Lei

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Sun, 01-27-2008 - 2:07pm

Hi Lei


I agree if there is no hope I want to right to die as well. We are very proud of our Ds as he has worked very hard to turn his life around.


HUGS


                          &n
Avatar for hulagirl_leilani
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Sun, 01-27-2008 - 7:43pm

Bernie I remember you talking about her and you said she was like a sister to you. I am so sorry for your lost. So you know what I am talking about... I had an attorney draw up my right to die papers so when the going got tuff in the intensive care unit I was in... for way to long... I called William up at 4 o'clock in the morning from my hospital bed and said come quick I have had enough and I am getting off this life support cr*p while I am still coherent to make the decision. He came and started yelling and screaming and kicking butt because I was in so much pain after the amputation and they were not doing enough to relieve my pain.

Aloha,

Lei