can I vent about my mom and dad and FIL

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-31-2005
can I vent about my mom and dad and FIL
3
Sun, 04-20-2008 - 6:21pm

Hi everyone can I vent?First let me say I love my parents and FIL.  FIL is 80 and getting a little funny in the memory dept.  Repeats himself all the time.  The other day I called him to let him know that a good friend of his had lost her sister.  He said he didn't know.  Then 5 minutes later he asked me if I knew about his friend whos sister had died Ok I just said no that is to bad.  He has been calll ing almost every day to have DH put in his air condintioner.  He is waiting for a part and DH told him he would do it when part came.  He calls almost everyday to see if he is going to do it then tells DH that he has 3 other ladies at the complex that he has voulentered DH to do their ac units..  Today I was at work and DH was going to pick me up and go to the super walmart a few towns over.  He was 30 minutes late because his dad came over to see about the air conditioner again.  Now my parents are in their 70's and still have their house and my brother lives there rent free.  They call and need yard work done so DH took of Friday afternoon so we could go up there and get it done.  We had a big heavy fence to put back and I didn't want my mom or dad to help so I go upstairs to get my brother who was taking a nap he is 49 and I asked him to help but said he was busy taking his nap.  So DH and I struggled with the fence and got it done.  We needed some help yesterday but I guess my dad didn't get the hint.  So today after work and walmart I told DH that we would have a cook out and then get in a motorcycle ride.  My dad calls and says he is dropping of my mom while he goes to a meeting because she doen't like to stay alone.  So there goes my ride and when grilling I was so upsest I dropped my meat on the deck.  Why is it we can't get my brother or my DH's sis to help us with the parents?  I love both my parents and FIL very much and I know they won't be here forever but I am getting to the end of my rope.   I don't say anything because I don't want to hurt anyones feelings.  Does anyone else have issues with aging parents.  Thanks for reading.

over 40 and tired

over 40 and tired

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Sun, 04-20-2008 - 8:54pm

First..Welcome to the group.


Sorry to hear of your troubles. All to commen with siblings.


You have opened Pandoras box now. Expect many replies.


5360774911227568598063_610w

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Mon, 04-21-2008 - 11:51am

Many of us here on this board have dealt with aging parents and some are in the same boat you are. It can all be so frustrating when they cannot seem to remember something and begin to repeat and ask the same question over and over again.


Some siblings get the most to do while other will not lift a finger.


HUGS


                          &n
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Wed, 04-23-2008 - 1:41pm

I know what you mean about dealing with that short-term memory loss and how frustrating it can get. I took care of my dad for the last year of his life. He was really sharp for the most part but the s-t memory was almost gone. I listened to so many stories and answered so many questions over and over again. I don't think there's much you can do about it except grin and bear it...and try to make each answer fresh as if it were the first time. It was really important to me to keep him from feeling like this was happening. The other problems associated with getting older were weighing on him enough already.


As far as your other issue...it's probably going to take some proactive work on your part to make any changes. It sounds like everyone has gotten very much used to having you take care of things. You might want to start with saying something like: "Oh, I'm sorry. We can't do that today. We're going out of town for the day. Have ____ (brother) take care of that. He's right there, he'll