I am really so happy about this...(long)

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-1998
I am really so happy about this...(long)
24
Thu, 09-25-2008 - 5:40pm

Many of you don't know the story of my DD and her little boy, my grandboy, Hunter. About 3 weeks after he was born by C-section, she got up in the middle of the night and caught her DH (insert your own meaning of D) having at it with another woman. He had not been very good to her to begin with, then this.


So she and Hunter came to live with Frank and me for about a year when we were in Spokane. She moved back down here about the time of my hip surgery, got an apt. and a job, and with some help got on her feet. Ex-DH grudgingly and very erradically paid child support.


We moved to FL for a year, then back because dear little Hunter-man was diagnosed with autism and DD needed support.


Flash forward to yesterday. DD and her new, wonderful DH have been getting mail from an attorney representing ex-DH who was complaining about his obligations when he doesn't see Hunter, and even (grrr) hinting that he wasn't his son. (You can tell by looking --it's obvious he is, unfortunately).


Well DD and the wonderful new DH responded by saying that he could either 1) keep his obligations and work up to visitations if he has solved his alcohol problems, or 2) sign Hunter over for step-parent adoption.


Yesterday they received a response saying he would sign the adoption papers. Obviously he only wanted out of the child support obligation.


I feel 2 ways about this. One, I'm so happy that DD's DH loves Hunter enough to make him his legal son. He's a great guy, and Hunter deserves him, whether he understands any of this or not.


But two, I feel really sorry for DD's ex-DH and his family, but not too much. Because of their choice to never make an effort to see Hunter, they have no idea what a wonderful little guy they're missing out on. He is truly a blessing to me. As his grandmother, I can only shake my head in wonderment.


His other "new" grandparents love him to death, too. I'm just so, so, so happy Hunter will have a complete family who love him so much. And good riddance to the others. It's their loss.


Just wanted to share...sorry about the length.


 

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Fri, 09-26-2008 - 7:28pm
Red, what a wonderfully loving family dd's dh and family are! Obviously Hunter's sperm donor was concerned more about his pocketbook than his son. Its sad but if Hunter never knew his dad and dad's family it would be a blessing. He is now in a stable loving family and that is worth way more than money. True, his father should financailly support him but is the stress and frustration worth it and how would all the wrangling impact Hunter? He's austistic not dumb...kids know. Better for him to be happy. In my humble opinion I'd just chalk his father off as a bad experience and move on to happier times.
Hugs, Bernie
Hugs, Bernie
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Fri, 09-26-2008 - 7:44pm

You are so right Red. Adoption is a very strong subject for me. I am just so happy this turned out the right way.


Love


                          &n
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-1998
Fri, 09-26-2008 - 7:46pm

Oh believe me, he's chalked off. And everyone's happier. Thanks, Bern....and you have a good weekend!


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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 10-29-2008 - 1:54pm
So happy all this has worked out Red I remember when it was all going on!

 

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