Would you want to live close to a sib?
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| Wed, 02-04-2009 - 3:57pm |
I was talking with my sis the other day. (Sis #4 where I am #3 out of 6) She suddenly asked me if I'd like her to live here. I think I went to dead silence. I really needed to think that through before saying a "yes" or a "no." It occurred to me that if a sib lives close to you, then your story gets edited by them. When you live away, what you say is fact is fact since there is no one to dispute your version. Not that I live such a secret life but this is the sis who when sharing a hotel room with me told another sis about my bathroom visits. Way TMI of mine to be shared! Had me questioning whether I would want to have my own room on future visits!
Also would she expect me to invite her on our weekend trips? I would easily ask her if she wanted to go to the mall or the grocers with me or dinner a day or two a week but would I want her next to me in Vegas or Sandia casino knowing that I would be the subject of talks she's have with the other sibs. Bobbie frittered $20!
I do believe that part of the reason our marriage is as strong as it is is that we've lived away from family..his and mine. I also think some days that my sanity is still a woven cloth rather than frayed beyond recognition probably because I didn't live within a few states of my sibs before now. I think I may have learned some stress eating since we've moved closer to Montana. I have thought that it could be fun to live closer to my youngest sis since she and I play well together but even then I'm not really sure that I wouldn't be crowding her space if we lived close.
So wadayathink? Hugs, BB

Jan
Hmm..guess it depends on the sib and the relationship
(my only sib has disappeared , brother, mentally ill..I was prepared to move him to this town and help him get an apt and social services, but he didn't want it, went touring the USA and disappeared)
if I had a sib with whom I had a good relationship, I would say yes, have them nearby
that means still being able to live our own lives and intersect only when we wanted to..not inviting them on vacation if I didn't want them going
sounds like you are not crazy about having this sib close. Is she single, married? dependent, independent?
we all know life is not perfect and that goes for family relationships..as I told someone else, "tricky even when everyone has their wits about them"
does this sib want to move by you?
Dutch
Dutch
Hi BB
Well having never lived close to a sibling, since I became an adult.
I'm grateful that me brother lives just 10 mins away. My oldest brother is great but lives 7 hrs. Youngest brother and I rarely speak. Good luck I wish I had a sister ;-)
Well, BB...I live near all my sibs....and we don't get into each other's business unless invited. What I mean is this. My older sister and I are pretty close in that we share problems, stories, joys, but we don't know every minute detail of each other's lives. Only if we feel the need to share. We see each other maybe 1-2 times a month and talk on the phone once, and at those times, have very long, good visits.
My brother lives nearby, but is not into any of our business. He's more of a figurehead in my mother's eyes.
My younger sister lives within 3 hours, which is just right for the rest of us.
Doesn't sound like if this sister lived near you she would be able to respect boundaries. You and Dave have built a nice life there like you say, and in my opinion, she would be a disruption if you let her interferences and remarks
I used to wonder that, but when I moved here
Karla
Community Moderator, iVillage.com
It totally depends on family dynamics, values, relationships, interests, etc.
Hubby and I